The look on the Saint's face is so sincere and candid that the adrenaline instantly disappears, replaced by another feeling. I don't know what it is, just something different. He slowly releases my fingers and takes a step back. He smiles. Just like during our first meeting.
— Are you kicking me out of my apartment, Julianna? — he slyly asks.
Angry, hurt, morally defeated... I have suffered so many times. And now I suffer when it seems happiness is right here, just a hand's reach away. But yes, I am kicking him out. I hold on to my own core, which has pushed me to protect my mother, and now I protect myself. He has become a trigger for this — the Saint. Not the Wild or the events with him...
— Yes. I am kicking you out.
The man looks at me questioningly. He smiles mischievously. At first, it's playful. Then the smile turns threatening and dangerous.
— Interesting, — he slowly articulates.
— I am your wife, so I can do this! — I proudly declare.
Vlad laughs. Briefly, hoarsely, and not sincerely at all.
— Alright. I’ll leave.
— Wonderful! You find a solution — come back and let me know!
— As you say, my Timid Doe.
And he actually leaves. He goes around me and exits the workshop without locking the door behind him. He doesn’t pack his things. He simply throws on a shirt — I watch him — takes his jacket, phone, and car keys. That’s all. In a moment, the man walks out of the apartment. Probably out of my life too... Forever? I don’t know. I was the one who told him to go. I told him to come back only when he fulfills the conditions of our agreement. I chased him away myself.
What do I feel? Just a moment ago, I was so angry. Angry about everything. Because he confuses me again. Again he gives hope, only to take it away. Again he allows himself to be loved, grants pleasure and tenderness, and then destroys everything.
Now there is no anger. And no disappointment. Nothing at all. As if he left, and I became empty. Vlad has drained everything out of me…
I sink down onto the floor. My eyes wander over the paintings. A few hours ago we were under the same sky, and now everything is gone. I used to paint him, received pleasure from it, was captivated by the certainty of his jealousy… I existed for some time with hopes. After all, he came after me. He missed me. He searched for me. So why did he talk about freedom? Why did he say it isn’t freedom? Why did he let slip that I drive him crazy, attracted him with that, and then painfully struck his heart with words?
Perhaps I was right about fear. The Saint is afraid of open feelings. He fears that my love compels him to something that triggers his panic. I have no other explanation.
You cannot be jealous, care, teach someone to live and at the same time feel nothing. If he doesn’t understand this, then I do. So… let him open up to himself. Confess. And make a decision about us and the marriage.
There isn’t much time until morning, yet I still lie down in my bed in my bedroom. I hug the pillow and immediately fall asleep. I am awakened by the ringing of my phone. On the screen is Katryn’s name. I answer the call and hoarsely say:
— Hi.
— You abandoned me, — she accuses.
— I didn’t abandon you.
— You said you’d call back and then disappeared. You weren’t at classes, didn’t respond to texts.
I sigh.
— I was dealing with a family drama. I got to know Vlad's sister better, and then he came. We… — I hesitate, unsure if I should share more. After all, Katryn doesn’t know my feelings for him. — We had an argument.
— Why? — I hear her suddenly become serious.
— I… — I express hesitantly.
— Don’t tell me you fell in love with him and confessed! — she laughs. I sigh again. — But you said your marriage was fake!
— I did say that.
— You lied, didn’t you? Why? Because I always talk about him with admiration? Were you jealous? — she presses.
— Me? What? No, Katryn. It’s just… it’s more complicated than you know. You don’t need to know.
— Hmm… you don’t want to tell me everything?
— No, — I firmly cut her off. I really don’t want to share everything with Katryn. We talk, but I don’t trust her fully.
— But did you confess your love? — she seems not even offended by the refusal.
— It happened that way…
— So why did you argue? Was it because of the confession?
— Mostly. I kicked him out. He… You see, he constantly says the marriage is temporary, yet behaves as if it isn’t. And that… it confuses me. I told him to finally figure himself out and his feelings.
Katryn is silent for a few minutes. I hear her heavy breathing through the phone.
— I didn’t expect that from you. You’re always so quiet, — she mumbles. — But… if he behaves one way and says another, then you are right. You have my support. You can’t confuse things. If you want a girl, say it clearly.
I smile nervously.
— Something like that..
— Yes, anyway, there’s no time to whine, get ready. Show him he won’t break you. Dress up and head to classes. We’ll meet under the academy, understood?!
— I’m not going to clubs, — I warn. What if Katryn wants to drag me back into pouring out my soul? Enough of that.
— No need to, — she hums. — Shall we take a walk just the two of us? I’m your friend, I want to support you.
It's a dubious proposition, but I agree. After all, I have few options to vent. My mom is stuck in court, and Milana… we aren’t that close. Plus, it’s her brother; she’s unlikely to be happy that I kicked him out, even knowing he won’t live on the streets. Sasha from the academy faded away some time ago, so… that’s all I have.
***
The next weeks are gray and monotonous. Katryn behaves better than before, constantly by my side, supports me, and tries to convince me that Vlad is actually lucky to have a girl like me. After classes, we walk nearby the academy, in the park. In the last few days, Milana joins us. Their acquaintance was quite cold, and during walks, they behave as if the other doesn’t exist. I don’t know what to do about it or how to bring them closer. And I’m not even sure if it’s necessary. The girls are different, even though they both seem hot-headed at first glance. Milana lives her life with her boyfriend, happy that the problem with the Wild is practically resolved since he agreed to stay away from her shares, which have eventually gone to Vlad. Katryn believes Vlad's sister is ruining the best years of her life and is generally behaving too brazenly. I try to smooth over the edges in their communication, but it doesn’t go well.
For over a month, Vlad hasn’t shown up in my life. He doesn’t even call, which drives me to distraction. Because… when I kicked him out, I didn’t think he would literally vanish. This time he doesn’t even leave money behind, doesn’t show in any way that he’s nearby. I’d like to think the Saint is trying not only to resolve the issue with my mom’s lawsuit and our complete independence from the Wild but is also trying to sort out his own fears and feelings. However, I don’t have high hopes. I’m tired of swinging from one extreme to another. I’m tired of hoping and being disappointed. So, influenced by Katryn, I decided to accept any outcome of our fake marriage. Milana is irritated by this. I had to confess to her that I kicked her brother out. She says I should be dragoning Vlad, making him jealous, while I, on the contrary, go to classes, don’t visit any venues, and spend practically all my time at home. I don’t know how to explain to her that in some sense I’ve lost faith.
Another two weeks pass. Halloween is around the corner. An American holiday, as I see it, but I love it very much. I always want to spend this day in a special way, like they do in the States, but my father never let me do it before. So I suggest celebrating “All Saints' Day” at the house of the Saints family. Milana is initially against it but then agrees. She says she will invite all her friends after Katryn asked to invite classmates. In short, they’ve set up a competition among themselves.
The day before the holiday, a driver from Timur brings us to the brothers’ house from AMB. I didn’t even know he was there, but his sister did. And also decorations, a bunch of pumpkins, candles, and decor they bought at stores. Mostly Milana paid, but I also covered some purchases with the Wild's card. I’m still surprised it’s not blocked, considering I betrayed the Wild and took everything from him! However, I should look at how much work awaits us and how much decor is waiting to be attached to the house, and I immediately forget about that.
We decorate until the evening. At this time Timur calls. Milana and I are just placing a character from the movie “Scary Movie” in front of the porch.
— Hi, — Good immediately greets. — Are you with your sister?
— Hi, yes. Should I hand her the phone? — I press the phone to my ear with my shoulder and help the girl pour fake blood on the prop knife, or rather red paint.
At that moment, Katryn is hanging up garlands shaped like little pumpkins.
— No. I’m calling for two reasons. — Milana looks questioningly at me, as if asking who’s calling, but I shake my head and step away as the girl waves her hand, letting it go. — I want to thank you.
— For what?
— For my sister. Remember I said she jumped into the fray? Since the day — Vlad told me — you visited Yevhen’s place, she’s even been acting differently. I know you’re walking, spending time together….
— Vlad told you too?
I hear Good smiling.
— No. Milana.
— Unexpected, — I turn and look at the girl.
— Yes, she started calling on her own and sharing her feelings. She likes you, a lot. It’s strange, as she’s quite a fiery personality, loves to provoke, but with you… she’s calm?
— I haven’t done anything, Timur. We just… talk. About everything. Milana was the first to call. And I wasn’t against it; after all, we’re connected… by our common situation.
— Did she share what happened?
— Yes. And I’m very sorry that the Wild is to blame. I knew he was a terrible person, but I didn’t think he was that bad. I didn’t think he could fall so low…
— Unfortunately, — Timur says. — Now do you understand why we acted the way we did?
— If you want to know whether I condemn your actions towards me, then no, Timur, I don’t condemn you. But Milana slipped about the second part of Vlad’s plan… What is this plan?
Timur is silent for a few seconds, then says:
— I don’t know.
I chew my lips. I don’t believe that he doesn’t know. This is a revenge game by the two brothers, and I need to be sure that the second part of the plan won’t affect my family.
— Timur… — I sigh. — I’m asking because my mom and brother…
— That’s why I’m calling, — he interrupts. — The trial is ongoing, but we are on the winning path. Vlad managed to obtain a lot of footage where the Wild mocks Sofia. I’m sorry, Julianna, but he didn’t shy away from his actions in the corners of restaurants or places where the meetings took place.
I swallow the lump in my throat. I didn’t always understand why my mom had tears in her eyes because I thought the Wild behaved perfectly in front of human eyes. It turns out I was wrong here too. His tyranny and despotism were everywhere...
— The court will make the choice, Timur, with whom to stay, but in the case of Sofia, it’s clear — they will separate them. The assets will be divided, as well as the shares of AMB. The court is also supposed to prohibit the Wild from approaching you and your mom…
— Me?
— Yes, Vlad testified about you.
— But… I don’t understand how? Shouldn’t I be present?
— You should be, only the judge is our good acquaintance. There’s evidence, witnesses… Your brother. So, don’t worry. Everything is going as it should. You and your family will soon be free. Just a little longer.
— And Milana? He agreed not to touch her, right? She’s free?
— She is free, — I hear Good smiling. — Thanks to you, our sister got the Wild’s agreement that he wouldn’t touch her. He signed the agreement. For this, he received my shares. Conditional, however. Who’s to blame that you married his brother?
— That’s for sure, — I can only say.
My heart pounds in my ribs, as if it’s mad. It’s joyful and singing. Just a little more and that’s it; we will be free! Truly free! Mom will be able to live as she wishes! She won’t have to fear for me and my brother! I can’t believe the end is near...