Vlad Saint
My whole conscious life, I was a broken boy. Shattered. Alone. I was afraid to show myself to the world, as I was nothing. A void. An empty space in my mother’s and father’s lives. In society.
But time passed. It flowed like a raging river, and I began to understand — if not me, then no one else. I have a responsibility — a brother and a sister. I cannot allow them to suffer as I did. I cannot let them consider themselves worthless.
We went through a difficult path with Timur. Mother never had time for us despite all her love. Rather, it was this love she gave to men. First to Saint — my father, who died while she was pregnant with me. Then to Good — Timur’s father, who had thousands of lovers. And then to Tyshchuk — Milana’s father. My sister was immediately under my surname, but Timur from birth was Good. Only now he wanted to take a double name, wishing to be closer to us.
We grew up without love, in poverty. There were times when the little house where I spent my wedding night with Yuliana became the only place we could live, as we were thrown out everywhere. Only later, when my brother and I got on our feet did this house change. I changed it. I wanted to erase childhood memories. To destroy the phantasm of our mother in the corner when she was abandoned by all her lovers. When she realized that only we loved her endlessly, and she… couldn’t love us the same way. Neither Timur nor Milana remember the cold indifference in her blue eyes. They don’t remember that it wasn’t mother, but I who was the chain that forced her to do something for us.
… I still see pictures in my mind, begging mother to sing a lullaby for my sister. I see where I asked her to come to Timur because he got sick and we had no money for medicine… And she would go, gritting her teeth, for some reason having influence. I still don’t understand how I was able to do that back then, in childhood…
That’s why I’m like this. I can’t completely open up. I can’t show weakness. I don’t have the right to. I have a responsibility — my family. If it weren’t for that, I would not have worked as hard as I had to in the past to be who I am now.
All decisions I made were solely for the sake of the family. All actions directed at protecting, welfare, and harmony in their lives. So the call that just brought such a desired, albeit cruel, message, I will hide. I will hide it from my sister and brother. I will hide it from my wife and her mother, as now they too are part of my family. And my job is to protect what’s mine.
Three times I almost lost Yuliana. I allowed her body and soul to be scarred. But not again. I will never allow harm to my loved ones! I will never let anyone offend them or ruin their dreams.
It’s enough that I nearly lost my brother, who was upset because of my behavior towards Yuliana. I nearly lost my sister because step by step I was destroying her abuser. And even if my Timid Fawn knows that Volodymyr Dyk is her stepfather and is ready to throw him into the mouth of a volcano for what he has turned her life into, no one of them should know that Dyk was killed in prison. Killed because I ordered it. Killed because that scum needs to be eliminated; otherwise, he would return and continue to torment my family again and again.
I lay my phone down and grip the paintbrush tighter. In front of me on the canvas is another painting of a girl with an incredibly beautiful gray-green gaze and white hair with a reddish tint. She is depicted in a fairy-tale world where nature harmoniously blends with her appearance. She is the star of the story in this painting. And she shines.
— Vlad? — Yuliana’s voice sounds from behind.
She loves sneaking up on me. She loves to quietly enter the studio, fearing to interfere. She still hasn’t gotten used to the fact that she never interfered. I just ran away because fear proved stronger. Not for nothing did they say that emotions also control us.
I turn to my wife. I smile slyly. I can’t stop admiring her. I can’t forget how I first saw her at the art exhibition. By that time, I hadn’t painted in a long time, so there were only old works. Only that girl, for whom Yuliana got attached, embodied Milana. Her fears and pains after what she had gone through.
At the moment Yuliana wanted to change darkness to light, I fell in love. I didn’t admit it, but I understand now. After all… No one in my life had ever tried so hard to add white to the black to somehow dilute the darkness, to make it less painful. Considering I already knew about her life, about the tyranny being her world, I couldn’t help but be fascinated. And then she proved a thousand times that she was worth that first thought. She showed that despite oppression and humiliation, one can still have light and strength in their heart. Strength that pushes you to move forward.
— The organizers of the upcoming exhibition have arrived. Also, Timur called, asking how long you’ll keep dropping “AMB” on him, — she smiles.
— He likes it, — I huff and set the brush aside.
— The hotel and the desire to become a deputy are draining him. He says you’ll have to head “AMB”.
Slowly, I get up and walk to my wife. I weave my fingers into her wonderful hair and say:
— Or you will.
— Oh no! — she laughs.
— Yes, why not?
— My mother and I just started looking for the first families suffering from bullying by family members. You know, our foundation…
— Then we’ll sell it, — I wave my hand. — I only want to paint with you while you sit between my legs. I want to feel your fingers guiding mine, and together we create new worlds.
— So do I, — she murmurs and stands on her tiptoes. A passionate kiss leaves a hot mark on my lips. — But it can’t last forever. We must do something else in life.
— I know, — I don’t allow Yuliana to pull away. Captivated by her eyes and angelic face, as always, I barely hold myself back from saying to hell with everything and flying away with her to where there is no one but us. — But I want this.
— So do I, — she softly purrs, straightforward, just like I am. — Only the exhibition organizers want you, Vlad.
I kiss her. I shut her beautiful little mouth and pull her close. I’m going crazy for this woman. I’m going crazy for all her qualities: her voice, body, hair, movements, gaze, manners, expressions. I’m going crazy if I even see her somewhere in the distance.
— I promise that one day, I’ll take you to Alaska. It’ll be just us and the snow. There’ll be tundras…
— You know that with you, I’d even go to Mars, my beloved. But later. All of that later. Right now, we need to finalize which works will be at the exhibition.
I smirk. In a low voice, I say:
— Our joint works.
Yuliana pulls me into the living room. Her rounded belly is already quite visible under the fabric of her dress. Looking at my wife once again, I reaffirm the correctness of my decision. My family is above all.
The End.