A week after that terrible day when dreams shattered against a cruel reality. Seven cursed days in my father's house. One hundred sixty-eight hours of hell. And not a single second of hope or faith.
He. Left. Me. Lied. Used. Gave freedom and shamelessly ripped it from my hands. Gave moments of joy and complete immersion in myself, when I could be who I want to be, and then ruthlessly hurled me into a place where despair meets darkness.
After returning, I'm constantly on edge. I still can’t comprehend that Vlad the Saint, the man who promised to help and kissed me — vanished. I don’t know if he got what he deserved, or achieved what he craved. My father didn’t say a word after signing the marriage contract with Timur regarding the brothers.
There’s a knock at the door. Mom enters my room. Her gaze is full of kindness and love.
— Hi, my dear. Did you wake up?
— Hi, — I sigh. Heavy thoughts haven't given me peace at all recently.
I pull the cool thin blanket over myself and shift on the bed. Mom immediately takes my place and hugs me.
— Everything will be alright, you'll see. — she gently says and kisses my temple.
— What will be alright? — I ask in a feigned indifferent voice. — He promised, Mom.
— But I saw your Timur, — she softly replies, — he didn’t seem like a bad guy to me.
— Do bad guys always look like that? No one would say about Dad that he torments his own family, — I sniffle. I’m not crying yet, but I’m already on the verge. I usually keep myself together to not upset mom. She gets even more than I do. But not these days. Not today.
— Once Dad wasn’t like this, — she says quietly. — Once he brought flowers, took me to restaurants, and when you were born, everything changed abruptly. He took a mistress, I began to annoy him. Nevertheless, he still didn’t leave me, didn’t give me peace, even though after all his hateful actions, I wanted that. I still don’t have an answer to why he hated you and me, and he doesn’t say… Over time, all my feelings for him faded against the backdrop of bullying and insults. Now it’s not even interesting. We coexist. Me, because I don’t let go for selfish reasons. He continues to wander… That’s how it is, darling. My rosy dreams extinguished in an instant, but yours won’t fade, I promise. Timur… He’s an interesting man, influential, although I don’t know him personally. But I saw his gentle look at you. I saw that he means no harm.
I bitterly snort. I know Timur means no harm. The problem is different — he is Vlad’s brother, — the man who intended to drown Dad for some reason and used me for that purpose. He pressed on the wound by offering freedom. He knew it was precisely for this reason I would agree, and he was right.
And honestly, Vlad probably doesn’t wish harm either. He warned me, didn't he? He clearly and firmly spoke of what awaited me next, I just didn’t understand. There were so many hints... so many words. I wanted more. I said "And yet," despite his frankness, which bore nothing good for the future. The saint didn’t lie when he said "I promise nothing." So... the problem of broken marshmallow castles is mine. Not his. I allowed myself, for the first time, to live because he said so. I allowed myself to believe in freedom because he promised it. So… the destruction was evident, considering all the previously unnoticed hints.
— I enrolled in the Academy of Arts, — I say for some reason. Probably now it doesn’t shine for me.
— That’s wonderful, — Mom strokes my hair. — You paint beautifully.
— But I won't be able to study, — I add sadly.
— He said there would be a wedding.
— Then why send me to Dad?
— Such traditions, the bride lives at home, only after the wedding…
— Those aren’t traditions, — I interrupt. — He got rid of me because it was convenient. I’m no longer needed, although I don’t understand why.
Mom doesn’t really understand what I’m talking about. I didn’t share details, didn’t tell her what was planned. I briefly mentioned it without details. I only let slip one thing, that I fell in love. Fell in love with a man whom mom hasn’t even seen. With a person who doesn’t care about me because he pursues his own goals. A person who lied.
— Don’t stop believing, my dear. I know everything seems terrible now, but…
Mom doesn’t have time to finish her thought when the front door of the house unlocks. Several male voices echo. They quickly approach, growing louder. Mom immediately sends Timur to her; we have nowhere to escape. There’s no warmth left in her eyes, only coldness and hatred. How didn’t I notice this before?
Dad enters the living room with several men in their fifties or sixties. One of them looks at me with a lewd gaze, nearly leaping into my neckline; another simply nods in approval. Only Dad stops and smiles joyfully, then says:
— My beautiful daughter, may I ask? Is there a dress yet? Why didn’t you call? — he asks warmly.
I want to respond sharply and rudely, to the grinding of my teeth, but the consequences would be terrible. He won’t leave me bruises; the dress is proof of that, because he doesn’t know when Timur the Good will appear. And for mom… it will be taken out on her.
— We just tried it on, — Mom softly replies and approaches him.
He kisses her on the cheek, demonstrating the power of love that I have never felt.
After talking about the marriage and wishing me all the best, the men leave with Dad to his office. Only the one who can’t hide his lustful gaze lingers a bit. To my disappointment, Mom also heads to the kitchen to prepare coffee for the guests, leaving me alone with him.
— Who’s the lucky one? — the man asks. I don’t even know who he is to Dad.
— I’m not sure you know him.
A disgusting smile appears on his old lips. His body is blotchy and wrinkled. He resembles an ugly frog.
— Just tell me.
— Sorry, we’re not acquainted, — I say as calmly as possible. — Could you…
— Oh, really, little one. Vitaliy.
No need to ask him to name his name. Vitaliy quickly grabs my hand and lifts it to his lips. The kiss is disgusting. The touch of his lips against my skin evokes a feeling of repulsion and the desire to jerk away. But I endure.
Eventually, I pull my hand back, avoiding the piercing gaze of his pale eyes. Once they were green.
— I’m sorry, — I force a smile.
— No worries, I must go. But if the fiancé insults you, you can always turn to me. I’m ready to shield your young breasts with my own back. — His eyes immediately drop to my neckline. Vitaliy practically licks his lips, but thankfully, he leaves me alone.
I exhale noisily.
This again proves that if it’s not Timur who becomes my husband, and I hope it will be, that I won’t be abandoned, then someone like Vitaliy will take his place.