SEPTEMBER'S POV
Shit.
Holy shit.
How could I not realize this earlier?
All the moments I spent with Zach, all the special feelings, my uneven heartbeat around him. Shit.
I am in love.
I am in love with Zach.
I don't know when this happened but I love him for sure. I couldn't imagine my life without him. He's my saviour, my only hope.
I pressed my eyes shut and decided to tell Zach that I am in love with him.
I don't know if I loved him before my accident or not, but now I do and nothing will change that.
Without thinking twice, I rushed to our room. Zach has just returned from restaurant. He might be tired but I need to tell him as soon as I can.
"Zach." I called.
"Yes, Princess." He said, lovingly.
I flushed.
It's been a month since we celebrated his birthday and now everything has changed. There's something different about how I feel for him.
I always thought that I like him but fuck, I love him. Love is such a strong emotion, undeniably beautiful though.
He came forward to wrap his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him till I get collided with his chest. I rested my palms on his chest and started playing with his buttons.
“How was your day.” I asked.
He rubbed his nose against mine and whispered softly. “Hectic but now that i heard your soothing voice, I am all relaxed.”
He and his cheesiness.
“And how was your day, sweetheart.”
Zach, trust me you'll go mad after what I've to say.
His warm breath tingles over the side of my face and it was hard for me to concentrate on my own thoughts.
Ugh. Hormones.
“You know, something interesting happened today.” He added.
“What?”
He pecked my forehead which made me sigh in bliss.
I want nothing else than you, Zach. Oh god! I so want to tell you that I fucking love you.
“There were a boy and girl, mostly in their teenage. I guess they were celebrating their anniversary or something. So they invited all the restaurant staffs and cut the cake.”
He told me with so much enthusiasm in his tone that for a second, I forgot everything but the spark in his eyes.
“Then.”
“The girl was very happy. He gifted her a small teddy bear and chocolate. I guess the boy didn't have enough money to order a proper meal. But still he was acting as if everything's fine. I was observing them from a distant.”
“You were invading their privacy.” I playfully punched him.
“I know that but listen to me first.”
“Okay. Okay. Continue.”
“His girlfriend realized that and she said that she's full. He frowned but didn't said anything. They both ordered two coffee and fries but instead I prepared for them the best delicacy I could.” He paused and then continued again,
“I went their and told them that their dinner's on me. They both went happy and enjoyed their meal. But you know after they left, almost an hour later the boy came and paid me for that dinner. I told him that there wasn't any need but he forced me to take the money. And you know what he said next?”
“No, I don't know. You tell.” I smiled.
“He said that it was their first anniversary and he doesn't want it to remember that he took his girlfriend out for dinner but didn't paid. I was happy for him but out of curiosity I asked that from where he got the money. So he told me that his girlfriend returned the teddy bear and chocolates which he brought for her.”
I smiled. They both are made for each other. Their efforts to make each other happy is beautiful. I wish I could meet them.
“I feel happy that love exists.” I said.
He nodded and again pecked my forehead.
Oh huh, idiot. Listen my words. I am trying to say something here.
“How's Claire?”
“Good. She slept an hour ago.” I answered.
“Zach.”
“Mhmm.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, beautiful.”
“If someday, my feelings grow more stronger for you. Will you still be with me?"
He knitted his eyebrows and was trying to read my expressions.
His soft smile has now faded into confusion and worry.
Okay. I understand confusion but why worry? Will I be ever able to get my answers?
Here I am insanely in love with a man who's no less than a mystery. I want to solve him but I also want to know about how he feels to certain things which I do or say. He has to become more clear when it comes to emotions.
I am unable to understand him.
How am I going to tell him that I love him? How will he react?
I just need to tell him.
“I'll always be with you as long as you want me to.” He answered, tucking the strand of hair behind my ear.
And this time his words didn't work. I feel nothing, nothing at all. I've heard this before. He always says the same thing but why can't he understand that I'll always want to be with him? Why always he has to make assumptions by himself? Why can't for once he believes that I will never leave him no matter what?
Without looking at him, I removed his hold from my body and went to bed.
He will never understand.
“What happened, September?” He asked, his tone worried.
I turned to other side of the bed and didn't feel like answering him.
He came closer and sat on the floor. He was looking at me, waiting so that I could tell him exactly what's wrong but instead I closed my eyes shut.
“I am sorry if I hurt you. But please tell me what I did, so that I can make it up to you.”
Ignore.
“September, please.”
Again, ignore.
“I'll die if you do this to me.”
Once again, ignore.
In the plain silence, seconds passes into minutes and now he was not uttering a single word.
I told myself to sleep but my heart felt heavy. I was angry at him for not understanding my emotions but how could I forget that he's also trying with me. After investing a whole day at restaurant, he might not have enough strength to deal anything related to his emotions.
He was happy and all of sudden I messed up everything.
Sometimes I wonder that why he's insecure when it comes to me?
I parted my eyelids and looked into his direction. He held his face low.
I quickly get up and went to him. After I sit on the floor Infront of him, I cupped his cheeks and forced him to look into my eyes.
His eyes were moistened. Guilt consumed me to it's whole and I quickly placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
“I am sorry.” I am sorry that I hurt you.
He shook his head and creases my cheeks while still avoiding my gaze.
“Don't be. It was my fault. I may have done something to spoil your mood.”
My heart for a second stopped working. He cares for me this much?
“I am sorry. I got frustrated. You always say as if someday I am going to leave you but believe me I will never.” I kissed his cheeks.
His muscles were stressed further.
“Are you scared, Zach?” I asked.
He didn't said anything.
Then what could be the reason?
“I believe you but only till you get your memories back.” And with that he dropped the bomb.
The fuck?
Now I get the reason behind him being like this.
Something happened between us before my accident and that's why he thinks that I'll leave him once I have my memories back.
Jesus! How could he be this stupid?
Whatever happened between us was our past, I will never bring it to our present.
“Don't worry, okay? I promise I won't ever leave you.”
He cracked a hollow laugh but said nothing.
“You don't know yourself, September.” He added after a long pause.
“And you don't know me, Zach.” I countered and with that smashed our lips.
He was a bit taken back but slowly and softly as we kissed, everything became calm. His heartbeat became my ecstasy and sparks fly.
“Belive me, please.” I mumbled.
And we kissed, forgetting everything.
Zach, you deserve not just a smile 'I love you' but just wait for tomorrow. I'll give you the best surprise. I'll propose you in a grand way.
I promise tomorrow all your doubts will be erased.