Chapter 147 Oh... I'll never be ready

Rachel's POV

Marina's sudden outburst took me my surprise and I took a step back.

" You always do this ". She said again this time her voice breaking slowly. " When you stayed away from me during your marriage with David, Refusing to hear Ethan out... And even now, you're doing it again ".

" You never listen to anyone else opinion than that voice in your head and that's my problem ".

A dozen of lines passed through my head but I was just too surprised to say anything.

Marina was just talking and most of what she was saying made little or no sense to me.

" I don't get this, why are you blaming me? They were the one who abandoned me! " I said after my tongue came back.

" This isn't about your parents, no.... It is but, they are not the other ones. You just refuse to listen to any other explanation apart from the one in your head. "

" Because I'm mostly always right! " I bit back almost immediately.

Marina scoffed, her lips breaking into a sad but frustrated sigh. "You know what, I can't... " She shook her head.

Joyce jumped into our middle and put both her hands out on each side. "You both should calm down, we can settle this ".

Calm down? I was more than calm.

" What are we settling? I don't know why Marina is so worked up right now. There are my parents aren't they? And I say their excuse is bullshit! "

With they way Marina was acting... It almost felt like she was the one I was rejecting.

"Have you even heard the excuse?" Marina screamed her voice laced in frustration.

What the fuck was she frustrated about? I just looked at her in confusion, because hell was I confused.

" I'm done here " She shook her head at me again, picked up her bag and stomped her feet as she left.

I stood there staring at her back stunned.

What just happened?

One minute she was telling me my real parents are apparently back from wherever the went to, and now she was leaving in anger?

Had everybody suddenly turned bipolar?!

" Rachel..."

I blinked at Joyce shrugging my shoulders. " What did I do?"

I was only just speaking the truth.

" Why would people would abandoned me for all my life, people who made me live with the Andrews who have successfully manged to make my life hell... Why on earth would I be happy to see them? "

Why were they no understanding my point? No, the real question was, why did they have another point!

Joyce sighed pinching the bridge of her nose. " Haven't you thought that maybe, just maybe your parents didn't abandon you?" She asked and my brow instantly went up and I gave her a disappointed look.

It's not her fault, she had no idea how much emotions were going through my head right now.

First came shock after Marina announced that my parents were looking for me.

I had even forgotten those people were even alive.

Then came anger as everything I've been through for the past few weeks flowed back to me. Lana's death, me going to jail... I almost fucking die and with extension it was all their fault!

" Why should I be happy they reached out? Why the hell did they even reach out? " My body shook in anger as I heaved. " And they didn't abandon me... " I sneered shaking my head. " How can you even believe that? "

" The reaching out now only means they could've a long time ago, but they didn't. You know I agree with Marina, I can't do this ". I put out my hands to indicate the end of this conversation.

The truth is, I didn't even understand where and how the conversation came from. It just got me so agitated and angry... I completely forgot about whatever happened yesterday between me and Ethan that I didn't remember.

All my nervousness was replaced with frustration and an incredible amount of anger.

I had once thought about this day once when I got out of coma . Just waking up one morning to see two older faces looking down at me with love and worry...

I had imagine they would hug me, that they would explain to me the reason why we were separated and why they didn't look for me and that I would believe them. That they would tell me how much they had missed me and I would say the same.

I spent that whole day fantasizing about how my real mother hold me in her hands and refuse to let go, how I would finally be happy and get the life I had always pretended I had with the Andrews. But the day dream didn't last that long before reality slapped me hard on the face.

We were in the twenty first century. It would be practically impossible for my real parents to say that they had been looking for me for over twenty years and are only finding me now.

Technology had advanced in such a way that, that excuse would just be unbelievable unless under two different circumstance. One, someone was preventing me from meeting my parents, and two... They didn't love me enough to search.

I shut my eyes inhaling deeply. I was tired of giving instances, I was tried of thinking ' maybe? '. But it just hurt to think that they didn't love me enough. But why did they want me now?

Did they think that just because I was at my lowest I would accept them with no questions asked? That I wouldn't put up a fight or even reject them?

I brushed off the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes before huffing out a breath.

This past few weeks I had cried for a lot of things I said I wouldn't cry for, this not going to be one of them.

My ' family ' didn't deserve my tears.

"Fine. " I noticed she was biting her lips as she said so, before she stood up from her seat and came to seat on mine. "I won't say anything about them again until you're ready "

" Oh I'll never be ready ". I muttered with a scoff.

What was there to say?

I cleared my throat while staring at the beautiful decorated tiles in the floor.

My mind was all messed up as I struggled to put down every thought that rose up about my parents. I as not ready to duel on, not now.

But what I do wonder was why was Marina so affected?

"By the way, did Marina get into a fight or something with Mark or anyone before coming here?" I asked breaking the silence, but got no answer.

I raised my head up to look at the person I was talking to who was staring at space seeming lost. " Joyce "

"Uhm?" Joyce blinked at me, her eyes looking lost and confused.

She was not even listening.

"Hey, Joyce..." I snapped my hands in front of her which made her shake her head , blinking multiple times before looking at me. "What is it?"

I was about making a remark about her actions, but bit my lips to hold the words back. " I asked if Marina got into a fight with someone before coming her, she seems annoyed ". I repeated.

"I don't know." She said softly. "After I told... I meant, we found out who your parents really were, she was mad."

My sharp ears caught her mistake and was about calling her out for it when I realized that I had no idea what she wanted to say so there was a high chance she could change her words and I ould have no clue.

It didn't take up to to minutes after that before Joyce stood up with her bag "I have to get going now."