Chapter 150 It was a misunderstanding

Rachel's POV

I stayed in the same position for a few minutes, staring into space as Ethan's words rang in my head over and over again.

'There is and have been one person I love and have been in love with for the longest time... And that's you '

He just said that he was in love with me.

I blinked again, titling my head to the side.

"Did he actually mean that?" I asked out loud in utter confusion.

He had just explained what happened night, and hell did it not sound like anything I thought.

I remembered that night, I was the one who pulled away, buy that was because I thought that he thought that he betrayed his lover. But now he just said that he was in love with me.

How the hell was I to believe that?!

" Was my feelings a joke to him? " I let out a small frustrated laughter.

Why was it sounding so hard to believe?

"Oh, maybe its because he said that he was in love with me and has been for a long time. I mean, who loves someone who spent the first few years they knew each other making the other person life a living hell?" I answered myself in a high tone.

The frustration of not knowing what to believe was killing me.

" Dargh!! " I yelled pulling my hair with both hands before grunting.

" Maybe he is masochist? " I thought aloud, biting the bottom of my lips.

That would mean that he was both bipolar and masochist, a terrible combination.

" But what if he truly loves me?"

That would explain why he had been nice to me from the beginning we met again, and didn't even hesitate to help me get my revenge in both Lana and David.

That would explain the look he always had in his eye that I couldn't comprehend whenever he looked at me.

That would explain his annoyance and anger whenever he saw that I was sad and there was nothing he could do about it.

Fuck... My eyes went wide as it dawned on me.

"... Holy shit, he does love me! "

I suddenly felt like a big idiot for accusing him of all those things.

"Oh shit!" I cried while slapping my face with my hands.

" What have I been doing?"

Marina tried to tell me, Joyce tried to tell me, even Victoria who hardly interferes in anything tried to tell me, and I didn't listen.

I thought it was impossible so I tried all I could to get that thought out of my head and now it turns out it was true.

"But why didn't he just tell me?" I said in a whiny and regretful tone.

All of these would have been greatly avoided if he had just told me how he felt about me.

Because what he said meant that right from the beginning, the beginning beginning, he has been in love with me, and the woman he said he loved for years now, was me.

I almost ruined my chance with an amazing man, just because I was too paranoid.

I shut my eyes tightly while silently sobbing into my hands.

It hurt so much... It hurt so much to be wrong.

The pain I felt in my heart right now even slightly more than what I felt when I caught Lana and David in bed together.

I wanted to scream and craw my hands through everything I saw, but I didn't, I couldn't. This time I was the one at fault.

Back when I was younger, whenever me, Lana and Marina would go out to watch a telenovela and then the couple separates because of an misunderstanding, I would just scoff in disgust.

' For fuck sake why won't they just talk to each other ' I would always remark, but hell when it came to my turn, I did the exact same thing.

I left out a frustrated breath as my back fell to the bed. " Rachel... Fucking fucking Rachel, what is wrong with you?" I whispered to myself as my eyes blurred with tears.

This time it was really my fault.

Ethan was right, I unconsciously kept on pushing everybody else that wanted to help me, that wanted to get close to me.

First I did it with him, then Marina, and now I was doing it to my parents.

It hurt to think that they didn't love me enough to keep or even look for me if it was true that I got lost, but what if all my thinking was wrong?

I could've been wrong about everything.

I stayed on my bed for the next few more minutes, soliloquizing softy with myself, then I just pushed myself up.

This was my fault, and I was going to fix it. I couldn't allow myself to lose someone like Ethan because of a stupid misunderstanding like this.

I was going to take my own fucking advise.

"Just I'm doing this earlier". I muttered to myself as I left my room to find Ethan.

" Victoria..."

I came across the woman as soon as I turned to another corner, heading towards Ethan's room.

"Oh... Hi, " I waved the two other maid beside Victoria who flashed me a smile and bowed.

I've seen them around before, one of them was even the maid who talked shit to me the first day I came here.

Now they were smiling at me... Both of them. If was creepy, but I've seen creeper.

" Good evening Rachel, is there anything you need?" Victoria asked looking a bit surprised to see me.

I wouldn't blame her.

Ever since I came back yesterday, I had mostly always been locked up in my room and only came out when I needed something, which was mostly food.

"No..." I shook my head softly.

Her kind smile turned upside down as she stared at me, then she took a step forward. "Have you been crying?"

"Crying?"

I touched my face feeling the waters stains on them then shook my head again. "This... This nothing. I was just doing some realization".

"Oh". She nodded.

" By the way, do you know where Ethan is? I'm looking for him".

She shook her head almost instantly. " The last time I saw him he was standing around your... " She paused to blink before shaking her head again. " I don't know where he is".

" I saw Sir Ethan go to his room a while ago ". One of the maids suddenly said.

My eyes went to her in an instant.

' How did she know thay? ' I wondered, feeling an sudden wave of jealousy wash over me.

Ethan was handsome, freaking fucking handsome so it impossible to say that none if not all the maids who worked her had a crush on him.

I knew she was telling me his location, and probably didn't mean any harm... But I found it insulting.

' It was like she indirectly trying to tell me that she knew where he is and I was a clueless bitch '.

She may not mean that, but that was how I felt like.

I cleared my throat, breaking the awkward silence that followed after the maids words. "Thanks ". I lowly muttered before walking pass them.

Then I stopped, and turned back.

" Victoria..." I called the woman who has started to leave. Her neck twisted back and she turned to face me.

"You knew didn't you? That Ethan loves me."

Her lips hooked up in a small smile and she nodded. "I'm glad he finally told you." She muttered before giving me a curt nod and leaving with the other two maids.

Everybody just had to find out first before me... Just great!