Alastair:
“She’s been pillaging everything in her path! Her hunger is insatiable, and worst of all she’s almost completely without remorse.”
As Merari stood there telling me everything that has been going on, there was obvious fear and frustration in her demeanor. She was worried about Valene and had every reason to be.
“Do you know why she-”
Before I could finish my question, she scoffed, rolling her eyes at me. “Do you really have to ask? As-as if she doesn’t have more than enough reason to be angry with the world?”
“So do you, love,” I reminded her. “You’re not destroying things because of it.”
Merari didn’t like what I’d said obviously. “There’s a simple explanation for that, Alastair.”
“Is it?”
“I was a full-grown woman when you ruined my life. Our little girl….”
When she said this, I unintentionally blocked out everything else that had been said. Still, I could not wrap my mind around the fact that I had another child.
“Alastair!” Merari slammed her hand against the large round table, nearly cratering it. “Are you hearing me?”
I parted my lips to apologize, when she turned away from me, ruffling her hands impatiently through her wild mane. This wasn’t the time, but I couldn’t help but smile when she did this. This was something that Valene would do a lot.
“We ruined her life, Alas!” she hissed, and I could hear the raw sadness in her voice when she said this. “I should have never…never given her to you.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I agreed, though it was hard to. I didn’t like the idea that I may have ruined my daughter’s life. “But you were otherwise occupied, remember? We did the best that we could, Mer.” I approached her and started to gingerly squeeze her shoulders when I thought better of it.
“Why didn’t you-” she whirled around and when she realized that I was closer to her than before, she quickly backed up, her eyes widening momentarily before quickly recovering from my nearness. It was hard to ignore the fact that she still became timid when we were so near one another.
“Mer,” I touched her cheek. I couldn’t help myself. I had to.
“Alastair, don’t,” she purred.
It was when she begged me not to cross a line that I knew that she had been fighting not to this whole time. Just as I had.
“I’ve missed you so,” I confessed to her.
“Alastair, I-” her resolve had weakened. The combination of her concern for Valene and well, me, was too much for her to fight through.
“Since the day I left you, I,” I shook my head in shame of that night. I ran my hand down the length of her arm until my hand engulfed hers. “I gave her your name,” I chuckled. “I just…had to have some part of you with me for eternity…even if it was just a name. Then…I find that I have a whole mini-version of you. Had I known all this time-”
“What would you have done?” she asked, her eyes searching mine. “Do you really think your psycho wife would have allowed you to keep her? And if she did, imagine how much hell my baby would have gone through at her hands!” She jerked away from me and walked off.
“Allowed…me?” I snatched her arm, jerking her toward me. “Caris did not have-”
“Control over you?” she laughed bitterly. “You walked away from me, Alastair, and never looked back,” she said to me, unable to even look me in the eye at this point now. “She came back later that night, after you left with her, and she tried to kill me. She almost killed me,” she chuckled. “Well, she did…kill me, actually.”
Merari glared at me for a moment-one long enough to cause me so much shame that I could no longer match her gaze. She walked away from me.
“She had you wrapped her treacherous little finger,”
“Merari,” I tried to reason again. “You know that she was sick.”
“Alastair, she reveled in her sickness. You and I both know that,” she said. “I’ve heard about your Caris in the inhuman world. The rogue daughter of the half-moon wolf pack, rogue being the wrong term to use, by the way. No, your daughter was something far more evil than a rogue. And you were just too blind with obligation to see it.”
“Merari, that’s enough.” Sure, Caris had her faults, but she was still my wife and the mother one of my children. “She loved Valene like her own and-”
“Part of me wishes that you would have found out about Valene being yours-that she would have found out. Maybe then your eyes would finally open. Maybe then you wouldn’t finally be blinded by this blind obligation to a monster.”
“I said that’s enough!” I growled angrily, stepping to Merari in a threatening way. Not that I would ever harm her.
Merari stopped talking and walked away from me, but I couldn’t allow her to do it again. I needed her to face me. I just…I wanted one moment of peace between us even in this impossible time.
“Rari.” I pulled her close to me despite her weak attempt to fight me off. “I screwed up. I screwed up so bad, and I regret it with every fiber…of my being,” I said to her. “I was a weak man, controlled by my obligation to woman that I pledged my life to. That is no excuse, but I just…please forgive me. I need you to forgive me.”
She didn’t reply, I knew that it wouldn’t be so easy for her. I kissed her forehead and immediately remembered how much I missed connecting my lips to every inch of her skin. I then gently pressed my lips to her cheek and felt a subtle shiver. I wanted more and I knew that she did too.
“Alas, I can’t-I don’t know if I…if I can.” Her true feelings were displayed in her voice.
“I guess it’s…it’s very unforgivable, what I’ve done. I should have stuck by your side back then. Caris had made her decision and…you were my true mate. I ruined that and-”
“Don’t, Alastair,” she cut me off. “I mean yeah, of course, you ruined it, but apparently you got another kid out of the deal. I’d be heartless not to acknowledge your love for her.” She then sighed, and her head fell against my arm, her hands firmly squeezing my forearm. “I am worried about her, Alastair. I…I am so worried about her,” her voice began to break as she expressed her true feelings. “What if she’s too far gone? What if-”
“We will not lose her, love.” I just couldn’t afford to lose her-not again. “She’s angry, and right now, she doesn’t know how to deal with those heightened feelings. You were right that she has a lot to be angry about.” This forced me to ask. “Did…she ever mention who it was that k-” I couldn’t even bring myself to say it. “Hurt her?” I asked.
“Hmph,” Merari shook her head. “I’m not sure, but I’d assume if she had she’d have ended her by now.”
“You didn’t,” I pointed out.
“Don’t remind me,” I rolled my eyes. “I guess I was invested in your happiness even after you betrayed me,” she pulled away from me again, and walked away. She refused to let me in and to be honest, I didn’t blame her. “I’ve been trying to track her but the girl has blocked every attempt.”
“She’s powerful then,” I noted aloud. I couldn’t help but be proud of this.
“Oh!” Merari scoffed, and glanced at me before looking out of the window. “She…is extraordinary, Alastair,” she sighed.
“I can’t wait to see her again,” I said under my breath, thinking about the moment as if it were so close, I could touch it. I didn’t realize that Merari was watching me until I pulled away from my own reverie enough to feel her heated gaze. I looked at her and saw the small hint of a smile.
“I’d watch you go to that tree you planted for her every day…every night. I watched you weep for her. You do love her, don’t you?”
Judging by her comment, she already knew the answer. “I love her more than my own life,” I confessed. “She…Valene,” I chuckled. “Sometimes, I…I think I depended on her more than my own beta and delta,” I admitted. “She was an extraordinary human, Merari. I cannot imagine how she amazing she is now.”
Merari smiled, well then I guess we should find her so you can finally meet your daughter.
We shared a moment of meaningful silence when confusion could be heard outside of my office door. Before either of us could react, the doors blew open with great power and in came anger and rage.
“She’s alive! She’s alive and no one told me?!”
Merari stood next to me and watched as the alpha barged into the room, drunk and hardly balanced.
“Who is this, Alas?” she asked with a smirk. Something told me that she already knew.
“Ares Barbosa,” I introduced. “The alpha of the-”
“Silver…Moon,” she grinned. “The Goddess’s prized lycan possession. I’m sorry for the loss of your people but I’m sure they’d be proud of what you’ve done with what is left of them.”
“And who are you?” he asked.
“Merari…Merari Van Douran,” she replied to him.
“His true mate,” Ares was looking at me when he said this. He seemed to sense it. The boy’s power was mysterious to say the least. “And Valene’s mother.” he was obviously surprised to find this information. “So you really are her father.”
“Apparently,” I replied. “Small world,” I said. “And I’ve only recently found out myself, Ares. Though, I must say, you have not been in the mental mind space to accept such information.”
He dropped his gaze, knowing exactly what I meant when I said this. “Where is she?” he asked, refusing to dwell on the subject of his recent shortcomings.
“We’re not sure,” Merari replied. “But we need to find her as soon as possible. She hasn’t been…”
Ares seemed to gleam what she couldn’t say and somehow seemed to find amusement in it. “She’s been a bad girl, I presume.”
“Bad…is not the word for it,” murmured Merari.
Then I began to wonder, “How did you find out that Valene was alive?”
“That vampire at the bar,” he said. “I don’t…remember…I don’t know his name.”
“Damian,” I muttered with a sigh. “Of course,”
“He ran into her while she was…feeding.”
“Where? Where was she?”
“I don-I don’t remember, but I’m going to find her.” he stormed out of the room.
“He is insufferable!” I hissed.
“How long has he been like this?” she asked. “A drunk?”
“Almost as long as Valene’s been missing,” I said.
“Hm,” said Merari. “Interesting. Is he in love with her?”
“No,” I quipped. “I think he was just intrigued by the idea of having her for himself. As his vassal. He was protective of her because he liked her…spunk, I guess.”
“Hm, you guess,” she glanced up at me and walked away. “Well, I say let him have a go.” she walked out of my office. “We can use all the help that we can get.”