Chapter 33: The Choices We Make Pt. 2

Valene:

To wait! I was forced to wait! If I was going to be accompanied by the beast, the least that he could do was be on time. I refused to back into that Packhouse. I hadn’t been there long but I was certainly there long enough to have memories. It was hard walking past Harold’s room as Tobias seemed to be his closes friend. He was taking the loss extremely hard. And it was even harder to walk past Tobias’s room. Somehow losing him-someone whom, while I did have regular dealings with, I did not truly know.

I’d always assumed him a superficial human with an arrogance about him that pushed him to believe that he could commit transgressions; transgressions that were usually punishable by severe imprisonment or even death. It was only ever since I moved into the Packhouse that I realized that Tobias was not completely who he was made out to be, but a little more.

He died and I could feel that there was so much more meant for his life than such an early death. And I wasn’t the only one to feel this way either. Talon and Master Slaughter were reeling from the loss of their vassal and visibly so. Though Master Slaughter was far better at masking his pain of loss. Penelope was simply brutal and angry and she let it all out on me whenever the opportunity arose. Unfortunately, Harold wasn’t safe from her actions and nastiness either. I was glad that Master Minken seemed to notice this. Harold had been by his side since Tobias’s death.

It was selfish of me but I just wanted to get away from all of it. Even if it meant placing my life in danger, I was willing to take that risk. Death was a normal part of life, but it wasn’t something that I welcomed. The death of Caris Wade traumatized me in ways that even I wasn’t aware of until this point in my life. Being around such sadness brushed up all of the feelings that I experienced seven years ago when we lost her. And the fact that I now knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was me only intensified the feeling of guilt. I had to go. I had to get away from it.

I stopped and looked at the front porch; there was no one there, and I still had my things. I could leave right now, I thought to myself. No one’s around and my father would…I didn’t even dare to think that he’d forgive me. Part of me felt that he’d more than likely be too distraught to even think about forgiveness or non-forgiveness. I started to walk, and decided that I’d make my decision by the time I hit the town line.

“Surely, a definitive answer will come, Vale,” I said to myself as I started to walk. I needed to leave but I also didn’t want to hurt the man that for all my life, I considered my father.

I kept walking, and then my pace became more brisk until I started to run. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me and then…before I knew it, I was standing at the town line. I couldn’t move. I wanted to-I-I tried…but…I just couldn’t.

“I was wondering where you were going.”

I turned around after blinking away the tears that, for some reason, were about to fall down the side of my cheeks. “For someone who is supposed to accompany me, you sure seem unprepared.” I sniffled, my frustration growing.

Ares stood there a few feet away from me, his arms crossed and amusement clear on his face. “I knew that you wouldn’t leave.”

He managed to aggravate me more with his assumptions. “I hope you do not think that it is because I am waiting on you,” I hissed. “Master Barbosa,” I mockingly retorted and then turned around to look forward. Ares Barbosa’s presence made me want to take that step forward even more. “In fact, you being here only makes me more inclined to leave.”

“You’re still upset about what I said,” he seemed to realize and sighed. “I was just trying-”

“It doesn’t matter what you were trying to do, Master Barbosa,” I interjected, his reminder of what had been said about me being the cause of all this death, driving me even further to take that step. And I did.

“I know that you and your father had a…troubling conversation today,” he said. “Some things may have been said…things that you may have been harsh.” With every word he spoke, I heard his footsteps nearing me closer until his movement was still again. He now standing right behind me. “You should not leave yet, Valene.”

I whirled around so quickly, I nearly lost my balance. The fact that he pressed that guilt button once again, upset me even more and unreasonably so, I admit.

“You don’t know anything! You don’t-” I turned away from him, and he grabbed my arm and whipped me back around to face him. It was then that I lost it for the second time against the lycan King and swung at him. It was messy, my attempt-far messier than usual and I knew that it was because I allowed my emotions to get the best of me-and not in a good way.

He took my balled fist and held it. “You do not know what dangers this journey will bring to you, Valene Wade. Your father is forced to stand aside and let you leave him because he has a duty to his town. Do you think that this is an easy decision for him?”

“Bet it’s an easy decision for you, though isn’t it?” I spat angrily.

“What is that supposed to mean exactly?”

I was far too aggravated to explain myself to him so I didn’t, but there is no way that he did not know what I was talking about.

“Fine, since you will not answer that question then answer the first.” he almost seemed to demand of me. As if he had any right! “Do you think that it is easy for him to let you go?”

Of course, it wasn’t an easy decision for him. It wasn’t for me either. “I know that!” I spat, trying to snatch my hand away from him. Of course, I couldn’t. “I know that it isn’t easy!”

“Do you?” he asked and now he was gettring a little frustrated, his eyes squinted. “Somehow, you seem to hide your thoughts from me at times. So I really cannot say that you do understand. By ways and actions, however, it seems that you do not know at all.”

“You don’t know me!” I hissed challengingly. “He is the only family that I have-he and Harlyn! I love….I love them…I don-if something happens to them-to anyone else because of me, I-” I couldn’t even finish my sentence at this point. The only thing that I could manage was shaking my head. “If someone else loses their life because…because of me…I…”

Suddenly, and I don’t know why, the realization of the immense emotion that I had been feeling throughout the last day came flooding so entirely to the forefront. I couldn’t take it! It was like a tidal wave bearing down on my shoulders. I couldn’t hold it anymore. I had completely broken down, far worse than at any time in my life. And I didn’t do it in front of my father, the person with whom I felt the safest. I didn’t break down in front of Master Slaughter, another person I’d willingly place my life’s hands into. I didn’t even break down in front of Harlyn, someone who I’d hoped I could trust to console me if it really came down to it. It was him. It was Ares Barbosa, the legendary lycan King. Someone who at the core, I did not know.

It was as my knees buckled and I gripped myself tightly while clenching my heart. It actually ached. This guilt swallowed me whole and I could not resurface from it. “Those attacks…Tobias is dead!” I whimpered messily. “Harold was nearly killed…my mother was killed! Because of me!” I cried. “What-I don’t-I can’t do this! I just want to leave! Why can’t you just let me leave?!” I lifted my violently shaking hand to wipe away my tears when I felt his large hand against my cheek, wiping them away for me;

When I looked up, he was sitting there across from me, his legs folded. And for some reason, I was amazed by his casual gesture to just sit across from me as if he were equal to me. As if I was his equal.

“Did you ask to be born with such treasure flowing through your veins?”

I half-shook my head before dropping my gaze, but before my head could fall, his finger settled under my chin and he lifted my head back up.

“Do not drop your head, pequinina,” he said to me. “You are…far too valuable to lower your head to anyone.”

“I should not be valuable simply because of my blood,” I retorted, shaking my head. “I am no different than anyone else outside of that.”

“I disagree.”

To his response, I could do little but scoff. “You don’t have to validate me to make me feel better-”

“I do not believe in deception for validation. I would not tell you something that is a lie to make you feel better,” said the alpha. “The truth of the matter is, I have been on this earth for one hundred and ninety-eight years. I have had countless interactions with humans. All were not bad, but only a rare few were good.” he said to me. “You are by far the most humble, and the most compassionate.”

I could no longer hold his gaze as I saw the conviction of what he perceived to be the truth. I found a heat rising in my cheeks. Did he really think so highly of me?

“You don’t know me. How can you make such an assumption?”

“I’ve been around long enough to know a good person when I see one,” he smirked. “You apologized to a woman for killing her before killing her-a woman who coldly sook your death,”

“She was brought up to hold the beliefs that she had. It should not have been me that-” his dry chuckle cut my sentence short. “What?”

“You’re always finding a reason to un-justify your actions. I have never met anyone who does it with so much conviction.”

I rolled my eyes. “Taking a life is never easy for me-”

“Taking a life should not be easy for anyone,” he countered.

“So, it’s not easy for you?”

“I did not say that,” quipped the gruff alpha with an annoyingly charming yet almost mischievous smile. “As an alpha, taking life is par for the course.”

“There are some deaths that are needless,” I challenged.

“You think that I kill for fun?” asked the alpha.

“Do you?”

Again he smiled. “It is not fun to kill, pequinina. But with all that I have endured throughout my life I freely admit that I have no qualms with taking life if it suits my agenda.”

I watched him as he picked up a piece of stray rock and fiddled with it. As I sat there watching him, everything that Master Wade had told me about him came to mind. The brutal lycan king wasn’t as…unrelatable as I thought.

“Are you going to say something? Or keep staring at me, little human?” asked the alpha.

“I…I guess I’m just trying to figure you out, Master Barbosa.”

With a half-hearted snicker, the alpha dropped the rock and looked at me. “Same here, little human.” He then stood up from the ground and held his hand out to me.

After a moment of hesitation, I reluctantly allowed his hand to swallow mine. He then gingerly pulled me up from the ground.

We stood there in silence, I could feel his eyes on me. “I have some affairs to set in order but we will be leaving within the hour. If you can stand to wait that long.”

“Okay,” I said, my eyes averted from his as I still wasn’t sure whether I could. Again he tilted my chin up to look him in his stern gaze.

“Wait,” there wasn’t a demanding air in his voice. It was almost as if he was pleading for me to.

“Okay,” I said with resignation. “Thank you, Master Barbosa.” I said.

I hardly witnessed the small nod in response to my thanks before he said. “Don’t let the last words exchanged between you and your father be something that could be regretted if you were to never see one another again.”

“How did you know about-”

He shook his head. “Go talk to your father,” Ares Barbosa cut me off. To him, it seemed, the how was irrelevant. What mattered was that I go talk to my father and settle things. And he was right.

I found my legs rushing toward the packhouse just as a small sports car pulled up. I paused, knowing who it was getting out of that car. Penelope and her aunt closed the door and paused when they saw me standing there. I realized at that moment that standing there having a staredown was a waste of my time. I needed to find Master Wade. I needed to tell him that I was sorry.

“Valene?” I heard Agnes call to me.

Sure I’d be leaving soon but I acting belligerent simply because I was about to leave would surely only cause problems for my father after my departure. I couldn’t have that, so…I stopped, anxiously glancing back at the door, hoping that he was in that house. I didn’t see anyone at the window but it didn’t mean that no one was there. With a frustrated sigh, I turned around and bowed.

“Mistress Agne-”

Before the words departed my lips, a sharp point was impaled in the back of my neck. There stood Agness but there was no Penelope. I immediately knew then that she was standing behind me.

“Put her in the car.” Agnes said to Penelope.

“Gladly,” she said, and then whispered in my ear. “Finally, I’ll be rid of you for good.

Try as I might, I could not move, nor could I mutter a word. The only thing that I could do was hope…hope that someone came and saw what was happening to me before…before the worst could happen.

Penelope threw me into the car, knocking my head against the door. Suddenly, I was so discombobulated, that everything was dazed. I didn’t know whether it was the poison devouring my system or the newfound concussion that shaken my brain.

My body was laid crookedly across the backseat, my eyes weakly staring into Penelope’s.

“I cannot wait till you see what we have in store for you, gopher.” she snarled, and slammed the door shut.

Agnes got into the driver’s seat and Penelope started for the passenger side when I heard Harlyn’s voice in the echo of my failing senses. Oh Harlyn! Please! Please! I begged for luck to be on my side. For her to sense that I was near.

“Hey!” Penelope said.

“Where you off to?” asked Harlyn.

“Aunt Ag wanted to go find a gift for Mr. Toran and his family for their loss.”

“It’ll be hard to find a human as useful as that one.” Harlyn said. “I could help you shop for one.”

“We won’t be shopping for humans today. You should probably be shopping for you own though. I heard she’s leaving.” Agnes said from the passenger side.

“Yea,” Harlyn was very short when it came to talking about me. “Good riddance.”

I wasn’t sure if she meant this but it hurt either way because still I was lying in that backseat helpless.

“You know, I hear she was the cause of all of these deaths in town.”

“I doubt that,” Harlyn laughed. “Who on earth would kill for Valene?”

“You’d be surprised. Either way, you’re right, good riddance. I hope you said your goodbyes.” Agnes said.

“I said enough,” Harlyn almost bitterly retorted.

“Well, hopefully, we’ll catch up when we return.”

And just like that she was gone. As soon as their conversation ended, she pulled off and tears began to mist in my eyes.

“I bet you thought that she was going to save you…didn’t you, little gopher.” Agnes said.

“Harlyn never cared about you.” Penelope hissed. Her words were going in and out but I could hear them for the most part. “I noticed that you’re fading out.” Penelope turned around in her seat and looked at me as my sight began to blur. “Don’t worry you’ll feel everything that we are going to do to you tonight, human.”

Her grin was the last thing that my eyes saw before they faded into blackness. It was at this moment that I realized, I’d never leave Shadow Veil. And..I’d never…see my family again.

Alastair:

I hadn’t seen Valene hardly at all after our little back and forth. I thought that giving her time to cool down was for the best but apparently it wasn’t. Maybe…maybe she wasn’t going to calm down. Maybe I’d finally crossed the line but…but I just could not imagine that this would be her breaking point.

She was no longer outside, and she was nowhere in the packhouse. She wasn’t at our home either. Where could she be? Part of me had hoped that she’d left but my gut told me that she hadn’t. Ares would have informed me before they left.

“I have a bad feeling, Wade.”

“So do I,” I said.

Suddenly, there was a banging on the door and moments later, I could hear the frantic movement of someone coming in.

“Where is she?!”

When I heard Ares coming into the kitchen, I saw the franticness on his face. “Ares. what-”

When he saw the look on my face, it was as if we both knew that we shared the same concern.

“When did you see her last?”

“I…I haven’t since our talk earlier today.”

“No, no, no, this does not make sense. She was supposed to talk to you. She was supposed to fix things. She’s not-she swore that she would stay, Alastair! She swore to me! That she would wait!”

Sure, she could have changed her mind. Valene could have realized half way home that it was just too much face me again. She could have decided that she was better off alone, but I just…I could not shake the feeling that it was more.

“Something’s wrong, Ares.” I looked at him, and immediately my heart began to ache.

“Dad?” Harlyn came into the kitchen. As soon as she saw Ares she grinned. “Hey…there,” then she saw the manic look on his face and immediately regarded me. “Daddy, what…is everything alright?”

I knew that it was a long shot but I had to ask. “Harlyn…have you seen her?”

“Seen who?”

I looked at her and grabbed her shoulders. “When is the last time you saw Valene?” Her expression turned curious and almost dumbfounded. Her delay made me even more anxious. “Answer me, Harlyn!” I growled, shaking her slightly to get her to snap out of it.

“I don-I have not seen her since…well since before you took out-wh-why?” I couldn’t answer her because I was too distraught, too concerned. “Daddy, what’s the matter? I’m sure she’s fine. Sh-” her sentence was cut off when she saw the look on my face. “I’m sure she’s…daddy why would you think?”

I tried to take deep breaths. I tried to calm down but I just, I couldn’t and neither could Aziz. “We need to find her. Now.”

Without another word Ares departed, dashing out of the front door and I was shortly behind him, connecting with my pack.

“Everyone, we’re high alert. Valene missing! I fear the worst! We need to send out a team and search-”

My sentence was cut short by the sickly alluring scent that suddenly ignited through the night air. It was faint but strong. Howls began to fill the town as it seemed that I was not the only one who smelled it.

“Oh, gah-no! No!”

“Valene?!” I yelled out her name, praying for an injured answer. Hoping that she’d crawl to me. Surely, with the scent being this strong she was nearby.

“Daddy?” Harlyn called from behind and when I turned around, I saw the darkness in her eyes. “That…that can’t be her blood! It can’t be…right?!” Her blackened eyes began to water.

I caressed her face but I could not speak. We both knew the answer. “Valene!” I cried out desperately for her. “Answer me! Where are you-”

“Alastair!” Minken called throught he pack link. I could hear the distress in his voice. “I…I think I found the source.”

“Wh-where are you?”

As Minken gave me his location, I started to run. “I’m coming with you!” Harlyn insisted.

“Alastair, I’m…I’m not sure that it’s best for Harlyn to com-”

“Don’t! Don’t finish that sentence!” I growled weakly, my run turned into a fast sprint. For that moment, I had forgotten to remember Harlyn’s psychological well-being. I just needed to get to Minken. I needed to get to where he was.

When I arrived, the scent had become overpowering, and the forest was littered with the corpse of rogues and wildings.

In the distance stood Minken and Slaughter, along with a great deal more of my pack members and I could tell. I could tell that my worst fears had come to light. As I approached, the ground began to dampen beneath my feet, so wet, that I could hear squish of moist beneath my steps. And I…I knew that it wasn’t rain or moist from the ground. It was blood. I could smell it. It was her blood.

As I approached, following the damp scented trail, my legs began to gradually fold from beneath me. A groan escaped my lips, one that displayed the physical pain that Aziz and I were going through.

“Get her…get her out of here,” I could barely say the words as struggled to stay afloat. “Get her out now!” I bellowed full-on distraught.

“Dad?! Daddy! Is that her?! Is that Valene?!” Harlyn asked. I couldn’t answer. “Valene!? Valene!?” Her cries rang out desperately. “Valene, answer me!” she screamed as the pack members took Harlyn out of the forest.

With her screams in the distance, I fell to my knees, the ground so fully soaked in her blood that it could not fully be absorbed. “What…happened?” I asked Toran. Along with his power negation, he also possessed the power of objective memory.

“It’s best you don’t see, brother.” When I heard Toran say this, I looked into his eyes and the tears…the tears broke me. “I have…to see.”

“No…Alastair. No.” Toran pressed. “You can’t.” he insisted as the tears continued to cascade down his cheek.

“Let me see!” I snapped. I needed proof. I needed to know that the grief was certainly justified. “Show me! Show me what happened!” I rushed to him and he grabbed me, restraining me.

“She’s gone…brother,” Toran said through broken words. “She…she’s gone…”

I could hardly register his words. I needed to be alone. I needed to wrap my head around this.“Leave…me.” I weakly pleaded. I knew that Toran and John would not willingly. So I had to force them. “Leave me! Please!” I exclaimed.

“As you wish.” Toran finally said. Minken patted my shoulder and immediately they made orders for everyone to depart.

It was as I heard the shuffling of feet echo off in departure that I fell to the ground, rage, and raw grief taking over me, my counterpart howling through me as the physical pain of this loss forced me to release a cry that echoed so powerfully, I lost control of my power, destroying nearly everything around me. It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t. It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t. Valene…my daughter. Dead.