Chapter 49: A Bitterness She Can't Place

Vale:

After I left the house, I stood there and just looked at the large home for a moment. Not for sentimentality, though.

They were about to talk, and it was bound to turn into an argument if I knew my mother and father. And I did.

Hmm, mother and father. The idea of them being in the same vicinity…it was off-putting. Though, it seemed, that this whole time they were never too far away from each other.

The amused expression that I had quickly turned into a frown as I thought about it.

This whole time, one big-no huge secret that they both shared. My father, I couldn’t hold too much fault with since he didn’t even know that I existed.

That woman, however. A completely. Different. Story.

I walked away from the house, suddenly irritated. I wanted to feed. Bad.

That’s how it was. That’s how it’d been ever since I was rebirthed into this…this…alternate version of myself.

My emotions controlled a big part of my demeanor since that night. When I had awakened…

My thoughts dove off a cliff of recollection concerning that difficult and dark time in my life. I began to walk aimlessly, in search of something to feed on.

Yes, I promised my father that I would try to be good for the time being. That I would try to regulate my hunger until they figured out what was going on with these new beasts.

Unfortunately, sweet treats, to my misfortune, did not go as long a way for me as it once did. I needed blood. I needed sustenance. And unfortunately, my favorite donnettes could do very little to satiate me.

I started off of the premises of the Wade home, when I felt an odd sensation race up my spine. I ignored it and kept walking. Or at least, I tried to ignore it.

“You look like you’re about to get up to no good.”

When I heard his voice, every bell in my body went to ringing. The smell of fresh earth, and sandalwood titillated my senses. I should have known that he’d be around sooner or later.

Try not to be bothered, Valene. Try not to be bothered. I chanted this mantra in my head in hopes that it would take. But how could one not be bothered by a stature such as Ares Barbosa?

When I finally decided to regard him, I was surprised to see how close he truly was.

Ares Barbosa stood hardly a foot away from me. His domineering eyes seering into mine.

“What are you doing here?”

“You seem surprised that I am, pequinina,” he said to me in that growling deep accented voice. “We need to talk. You know that.”

I wasn’t in the mood to talk. Especially to him. I walked past the great lycan king and rolled my eyes. “We already spoke." I waved him away dismissively.

“And I am not done with you.” He said from behind.

I kept walking but he wasn’t having that, apparently. I knew that it was coming and I was prepared for it.

He grabbed my wrist and just as he started to pull me to him, I whipped out my blade and as I whirled around into his arms, my blade beat me to his neck.

I didn’t slice. Maybe a small prick, blood trickled down the pin-sized wound now adorning his thick neck.

“I said. I was done talking to you.” I told him.

He looked down at me, the subtle hint of surprise in his alluring eyes suddenly replaced with amusement.

“That new power of yours have given you a lot confidence. Too much.” His amusement turned into determination as he looked down, my hand still under the vice grip of his. “It is bordering on arrogance,” he said to me.

I scowled. “You really think that this power is why I am confident enough to attack you?” Now this was amusing. “Maybe you forgot what my role was before this accursed form took place!” I growled. I flipped the knife around and placed the serated part of the blade against the line of his neck. “Release me.” I demanded.

I could tell that there was something on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to further engage, but something-I don’t know what, stopped him.

His hold on my wrist loosened. “I am not going to force you, little inhuman,” he sait to me. “But you, as well, as I know why we need talk.”

Yes, I knew why. I was too stubborn to confess why. I guess this form made me a little more…or less mature as well.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” My lips said one thing but my thoughts another.

“You wanna play that way?” he said to me. I could sense that he was not happy about the way that I was acting. His brows furrowed and his nice lips furled in a twist of aggravation and amusement. “Somehow…I expected…more of you than the character that you are displaying right now.”

It was a hit to my character. A low blow because as I stood there now, ruminating over how I was acting, I had expected more of myself as well. The simple fact of the matter, however, was that I wasn’t capable of more. Not at the moment anyway.

“What? You expect me to fawn over you and cater to your every whim like I did before? When I was human? When I was beneath you?” I snatched away from him. “Well, I’m not going to, alpha. And that is something that you, my father, my mother, and my sister will have to get used to.” I backed away from him. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.”

I walked away from him, knowing that his eyes were on me as I turned my back on him. I could practically feel his anger.

“You’re my mate, Valene Wade,” he said to me.

For some reason, his formal addressing of the elephant in the room made me stop mid-step.

“No amount of running away is going to change that.”

I wanted to face him. A large part of me-the old version of me, wanted to look him in the eye and agree. Agree that we needed to sort this out. We needed to discuss the fact that this whole time our fates had been intertwined with one another.

But the bitter part of me. The part of me that had been winning over this whole entire time since I was reborn into immortality…that bitter and resentful part of me refused to do the right thing.

I understood my resentment toward my mother, my half-sister, and even my father a little as there were some things that he could have done better in rearing me. I understood the resentment toward everyone that I seemed to have resentment for. Ares Barbosa, however, I just could not wrap my head around it.

Sure, there was some tension there. There always had been, but Ares Barbosa was never cruel to me. In fact, he was the first one who openly allowed me to speak my mind. He was a stranger to me and I to him and still he took my opinions to heart. He offered to leave his pack in the hands of another. A wolf. Just to keep me safe. So, why was I so resentful of him? Why was I so upset?

“Your mind never was easy to read, little inhuman,” he said to me, his silk, deep voice bringing me back to currents. “But now it is impossible to read.”

I glanced back at him, struggling to display the truth of my confusing thoughts and feelings. I wasn’t ready to open up and I wouldn’t.

“Good,” I finally said. “Good evening, alpha.”

He didn't stop me this time. I was glad. Even more than that, I was relieved that he could not read my mind. Because even I didn't know what to think of what was going on up there at the moment.

One day we will talk, alpha, because you are right. We certainly need to. But it won't be tonight.