A tear rolls down my cheek as Julian’s chiseled mouth devours me. We’ve kissed a couple of times, but this kiss is different. It is soft, feverish, and cautious. It’s as if I can freely express my emotions, ready to give everything to this special moment.
My chest is aching from so many conflicting feelings: excitement, tension, guilt, selfishness, and joy. My guilt stems from my failure to resolve the issue with Kristoff and the fact that Julian and I have crossed a line by becoming too intimate.
I bury my hands in his hair and kiss him back, my tongue circling along with his. My back arches as his hand move down my waist to pull me.
But it’s as if we can’t get enough; his pace becomes needy. He sucks on my bottom lip while gently caressing and squeezing my waist.
I mumble between our mouths, “Julian...”
“It’s insane how I kept my hands off you from the moment I saw you. Thank God you snatched me in the dark and kissed me two years later.”
He blatantly grabs my thigh. My skin is flushed and nearly frenzied.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m pretty sure I’ve already expressed how enthralled I am with you. It’s from when I watched you play in Barnett and spoke about my songs.”
“The songs on your ex-girlfriend’s album?” I inquire innocently. That remains a mystery to me.
“That’s right.” He brushes his thumb across my lip. “I can’t tell you how much it meant to me. It was as if you were the only one who understood.”
I lock my eyes on his lips. I wish I could kiss those lips again. His words appear muffled to me, and his beautiful face and luscious mouth distract me. “You’re not making any sense.”
“No, I don’t think I am.” His mouth rushes back into mine again.
I’m having a hard time breathing, too. I’m desperate for Julian’s touch whenever his fingers leave one part of my body to touch another.
“Ahh...” I groan loudly as he moves to my neck. Sear pleasure rushes through me, all the way down to my pussy. My ears are ringing with blood. As he licks and sucks my jaw, I clutch onto his shoulders. I completely lose awareness of my surroundings.
“Are you sure about this?” Julian croaks.
“Lora’s knocked out.” But I don’t really care if she walks in and finds me grinding against our professor.
“What are you doing to me, Ms. Scott? I’m completely bewitched.”
“I can say the same.” I grin mischievously—a side of myself I didn’t know existed. I respond to him with a kiss I initiated.
His chest vibrates with a groan.
We’ve already crossed the line. Withdrawing now makes no sense. I’m beginning to feel the desire to please him.
Julian draws me closer by grasping my ass—without attempting to stop me. He lays me down, his manhood’s hard length pressing against my belly. My opening throbs, fully conscious of what’s happening.
His hands slide beneath the edges of my shirt until his fingers find their way up to the hook of my bra. Our mouths are still attached, tongues sliding and licking.
“You’re so sweet, precious,” he mumbles. “God, the things I want to do with you.”
“What are those things?”
“I want to spread you, bend you over, and make you mine.” He kisses the side of my mouth, jaw, and ear.
The anticipation makes me want to squeal.
“So why don’t you?”
“Not on this couch. If we do this, we do it properly. You deserve more. Besides, I still need your answer.”
“Isn’t this enough?”
“You know it’s not.”
He then lifts me onto his lap and wraps my legs around his waist. I twitch as I feel his arousal against my pussy.
Oh my. I moan a little. “Am I dreaming?”
He strokes my hair, watching my face with need. “You most certainly aren’t. I should be the one asking that.”
Now that our bodies are still attached, even after the fiery kiss we shared, his mischievousness still makes me more desperate for him.
“I need some time to consider this. This does not imply that I’m still expecting anything from Kristoff; rather, I just want to be free of my uncertainties regarding our relationship. This is the same as cheating because I might have the situation all wrong.” I swing my legs out of his lap and sit beside him instead. I bury my face in my palms. Guilt really is a bitch. “I’m sorry. My mind is a jumbled mess.”
“I see,” he says roughly.
I raise my head to look into his face. “This is no longer Kristoff’s fault because he clearly chose another path. This decision is ours.”
He nods, his expression tormented. “I’ll give you a little more time until you’re ready to come to me. But, Anya, do you want to be with me?”
The solemnity in his low voice warms my heart. How could I possibly resist him? He’s very considerate.
“I do.” It would be absurd to deny that now.
“Then that should suffice.”
“But this is unfair for you too.”
His expression brightens up. “Listen. I’m glad you’re thinking about it. You can still confide in me even if you don’t choose me right away. This old man has nothing to lose.”
“You’re not old. I think you’re incredible.”
“Well, thank you.”
“And I didn’t say I wasn’t going to choose you. But how can I be sure you’re not doing the same thing with someone else? My situation is already complicated.”
“Did you mean if I’m seeing someone else?”
“Um, yes?”
He chuckles. “Polyamory is not my thing.”
“How long has it been since you had someone?”
His brows furrowed together. “Two months ago? But I wouldn’t call that a relationship.”
“Was it a casual one?”
“You are free to say that.”
I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t have anyone. He’s fit, handsome, and a successful bachelor. Women swarm around a man like him.
I’m aware of Stella Pierce, but I will not ask about her tonight. He was about to tie the knot with her, but they broke up. It’s a sensitive topic. I’m also not spoiling my mood by being jealous.
“Is Kristoff your first boyfriend?”
“Officially? I suppose he is.”
His brow arch. “What do you mean by ‘officially?”
“There’s one before Kristoff. We weren’t official, thus the term, but we were aware of our feelings.”
He nods but asks no further questions, which I prefer. I’m not prepared to be reminded of my relationship with Hayden. My memories of him still sting.
I instead ask Julian another question. “What will happen to us now?”
“We’ve made our intentions clear. I think that’s sufficient.” He places his arm on my lap and takes my hand to his mouth. “You’re precious to me, Anya, and I want to take care of you.”
“Does this mean I can see you whenever I want? When it’s not Monday, I don’t see you in school. You just disappear.”
“I was hoping you’d ask. Send me your schedule. I’ll make time to ‘appear’ in front of you.”
I giggle. “I’ll email it to you, professor.”
He holds me by my shoulder and softly kisses my temple. “You should rest. It’s four o’clock in the morning...”