He feels something... For me...
A burst of bliss rushes through me.
If only I could run to him with open arms and confide in him completely, I would. But that’s not how life works.
This is not a fairytale. Life can be beautiful, but it can also be cruel. I’m just tired and afraid of losing in the end. I survived life’s adversities by remaining watchful and making calculated decisions. I tried to open my heart again with Kristoff, but where did it lead me?
Julian Sebastian is my professor and has accomplished things that would take me a lifetime to achieve. He comes from a good family, like Kristoff, and he dated one of the world’s most famous artists.
We simply don’t mesh. I have nothing to offer him to be considered his equal.
I closed my eyes and let my emotions flow. My chest is attempting to explode, and I’m not sure I can take it any longer. I have to say something, even though I know it would betray me.
I meet his gaze to respond, but Lora reappears in our lounge.
“There you are—and our drinks! Thank goodness.” She takes her Cosmo and sits down. She breathes as she sips her drink. “This is great. Superb!”
Both Julian and I are quietly watching her, but Lora notices.
“Whoa. Where did all this tension come from? Am I interrupting something?” She grins impishly. She takes one more sip of her Cosmo.
Julian averts his gaze, shifting his leg to the side. I tap my best friend on the thigh restlessly.
She looks at me. “What?”
“Shut up,” I hiss.
She grunts in frustration. “Come on! We’re both aware of what’s going on here! Did you think I wouldn’t notice? But don’t worry, I’m not telling anyone, so you can relax in front of me, okay?”
Julian reverts his attention to us. “Ms. McQueen,” he mutters, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry. Of course, Professor Sebastian, with all due respect,” Lora adds.
I cover my face. She always knows exactly how to aggravate my wounds. Lora has a practical and bold personality, which makes her an outgoing person, the polar opposite of me. I admire her confidence, but she doesn’t sound like herself tonight.
“Lora, did you have anything before that?” I ask.
She laughs loudly. “Yeah! Brad, the guy I met tonight, got some for me. God, the cocktails here are delectable,” she says, gesticulating a chef’s kiss. “Thank you for bringing us here, Professor.”
“Anytime,” Julian replies sternly.
“Mm.” Lora sets her glass down. “Are you guys going to dance? I’m going back there. Brad came with his friends, and they’d like me to introduce you to them. Do you mind?” she asks me.
I refused right away. “I’m fine, Lora. Thanks.”
“So, what are you going to do here? You’re supposed to have a good time tonight. Let’s go!” Lora reaches across my lap and pulls my hand, forcing me to stand. “There’s a guy over there who wants to get to know you. His name is Prince.”
My face flushes, and chills run down my spine. “I don’t really want to meet anyone tonight.”
She sighs and pouts. “Of course, if you say so, but--”
“Anya promised me a dance,” Julian finally says, rising to his feet.
My best friend’s eyes flicker once more. “Shoot! That’s even better. Come on, you guys! The night is still young.” She winks at me and then fades back into the crowd.
“Is she like that all the time?” Julian ponders as his arm tenderly glides around my waist. It’s amazing how I revolted when that Prince guy touched me earlier, but I felt the exact opposite when it was Julian. My professor’s brace is making me feel secure... and beautiful.
“She’s always cheerful, but I’m keeping my eyes on her in case someone tries to take advantage,” I admit openly. I’m giving Lora all the fun she deserves, but whoever hurts her must go through me.
“It’s amazing how you feel responsible for your friend’s well-being while avoiding the same treatment from others,” Julian observes.
I look down to avoid his gaze. “Please, that’s not true.”
“Don’t hide your face from me. Come.” He takes my hand and draws me back onto the dance floor. He presses his thumb against my palm and clasps my fingers while his other long-fingered hand rests on my lower back. We dance to a more mellow tempo than the current upbeat music suggests.
“Can we really relax?”
“What do you mean?”
“Your friend said we could relax.” He gives a light smile. “Have you told Ms. McQueen about me?”
“Did you mind?”
“Not at all. It shows that you’ve been giving me some of your mental space.”
“Lora may be loud at times, but she is devoted.”
“So you’re admitting it?”
“Admit what?” Why does he like asking questions in riddles?
“That you also feel it.”
I feel the air leave my lungs. “What do you expect of me, professor?”
“Call me like that again, or I’ll kiss you,” he says bluntly, and he’s rarely this straightforward.
I feel my face turning pink. “Are you serious?”
He’s becoming openly devious, much like when we first danced at the party before he knew I had a boyfriend. Still, I’m always hesitant to keep riding.
“I am. I’d like to hear your truth, Anya. Whatever your response is.”
“Why are we doing this? It’ll not make a difference.”
He spins me around and pulls me in so close that our lips almost touch. “Trust me. It certainly will.”
“Have you been entirely truthful with me?” I ask.
He grins confidently. He pivots me again in rhythm with the music, then draws me back against him so he can lean me over. I encircle his neck with my arms.
“I’m as honest as I can be,” he says, gliding his hand across my thighs.
“I’m not sure how to answer your question,” I say breathlessly. “That is my sincere answer. Can I ask you something?”
Within seconds, he has me standing again. Damn. He’s making me dizzy.
“Then let’s play the truth game. Let’s take it in turns. One question, one response.”
“But what if we don’t want to respond?”
“If you win without evading three questions, I’ll do whatever you want, but if I win, you’ll do mine. Fair?”
This is the exact reason I should be running. I’m already feeling defeated. “I’m not going to play this game.”
“How about any favor you want?”
“Any?”
His eyes sparkle. “See how simple it is?”
If I win, I could ask him to tutor me privately for at least two weeks. It’s actually not that bad. This semester’s preliminary practical examinations are in fourteen days. But what would he want from me if I lost? I’m not sure what he’d like me to do. It can’t possibly be that bad, can it?
“I’ll ask first,” he says. “Do you feel it too?”
I sigh. I suppose there’s no point in fleeing. “I do. I have feelings for you too.”
“Thank God.” He takes a deep breath of relief.
“But I haven’t spoken to Kristoff, so I can’t think straight right now,” I add.
“Of course. I know you’re not ready, and I know what happened to Kristoff. Sebastian Entertainment Group is a shareholder in Stevens Media, so I should know. I understand that this prevents you from moving forward, and I will respect that.” His hold on my body becomes more possessive. “Are you still expecting him?”
“I am,” I confess. “As stupid as it sounds. I just want to hear the truth, even if it’s already in front of me. It’s my turn. What are we actually doing now?”
His brows knitted together. “I see you’re still confused.”
“Very. So, if you could please answer...”
“I believe this is referred to as courting. It occurs when a man pursues the woman he wants.” He beams with delight. “Did I answer it correctly?”
Goosebumps parade all over my body. “I guess so. It’s my turn.”
“Yes, Anya, please.”
I curl my arms around his neck, staring back into his eyes with conviction. “Didn’t you think it was just platonic? What if this is just admiration?” I admire his music. I’m his biggest fan, and I have absolutely loved his lectures. What if this is what it’s all about?
“That’s two questions already, but I’ll answer them all. It isn’t, and I’m sure you’ll agree with me.”
“You are really enjoying this, aren’t you?”
He laughs. “I am. Did you like our kiss at the party?”
My heartbeat quickens. “W-What? Is that the question?”
“Of course. We have a deal,” he insists.
“Do I really have to answer that?”
“You asked twice before it was your turn.”
“But you didn’t tell me that rule!”
He chortles. “Just answer it. Just be more honest with me.”
“Yes!” I shut my eyes. “I like it. Do you?”
“Thank you.” He gives out a satisfied smile. “Yes, I do, and I intend to do so again. It’s my turn. How do you feel about Kristoff right now?”
I gape at him. I wasn’t expecting him to ask me that.
But how do I really feel about Kristoff?
He and I had always adored each other, shared many common interests, and encouraged each other’s aspirations. Our relationship exists primarily to have each other’s backs. Aside from Lora, he’s my second best friend. I was so tired of being alone that I started to imagine what my life would be like if I married him.
Yet he never once said the magic words. I never asked.
I said nothing either...
“I suppose I can’t answer that, Julian, because—” I blurt out, then clasp my hands around my mouth in surprise at my own words. But it’s too late now. I put off answering three times. He has forced me to lose the game.
“And now you’ve lost.” His eyes light up with a look of quiet pride. He is expecting this to happen.
“Because you didn’t play by the rules. You set the rules.”
“I’m fair to you, Anya,” he mumbles.
“Fine. Let’s get this over with. What do you want?”
The corners of his mouth curl up. “Kiss me.”
I cough. “What?”
Julian’s face tilts towards mine with a low rumble, and my head falls back vulnerably as his firm mouth seizes my lips in a searing, authoritarian kiss. I feel as if I’ve been in a dream for the past twenty-three years and am only now waking up in the real world.
Julian’s mouth is hungry and demanding. His tongue easily parts my lips, stroking greedily inside my mouth. I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck, drawing his body closer to mine and silently pleading with him to take even more control of my mouth.
I become dizzy from the almost ferocious demand of his kiss, the sensation threatening to explode my body. It’s as if our surroundings have become muffled, and I’m no longer paying attention to the music or the people dancing around us.
His starving mouth stimulates my entire being as if he’s eating me. I can feel the friction against the layers of my clothing as his hands move around my body. It all becomes too much at once. I just want to get out of here and tell him he can take me wherever he wants, and I won’t complain if it’s at his penthouse.
My entire being is rippling with pleasure. To keep myself steady, I clutch his muscular forearms. My throat lets out a shallow whimper as my head spins giddily.
His firm, luscious wet mouth then descends towards the sensuous path from my flushed cheek to my jaw and finally to the sensitive spot beneath my ear. His lips continue to move across my throat, and words finally escape me with a gasp.
Everything is escalating quickly in my mind. His hot, sensual mouth has caught me off guard.
“Julian, we can’t do this here,” I beg helplessly.
He stops and mumbles something hoarsely, “Let’s get out of here.”
“What about Lora?”
“Go get her. I’ll meet you at our lounge.” He wraps his arms around my waist, kisses me deeply once more, and then lets me go.