The icy dread that flowed through me gripped at my heart, humming louder than the air conditioning. I didn’t know what to do if he felt something for me that I didn’t feel for him. I knew all too well what it was like to want someone who didn’t want you back. It could make you do stupid, self-destructive things.
“Devin McAllister has had a thing for you for years.” She was far too proud of delivering this information. Breanna was always happy to have a reason to make me squirm and too young yet to see past the surface, to the throbbing ache in my head.
“No.” Slowly I massaged that ache. I adored Devin, loved him as I did Aiden. I couldn’t see him as anything else. How could I look at him now? Dealing with Jordan and his rejection was bad enough. Devin’s misplaced affections would only compound things for me.
“Yes!” She threw herself on the bed. A rush of air from the comforter was chased by the scent of cinnamon from the candy Breanna sucked on. The familiar smell comforted me.
As nervous energy replaced the dread, I had to move. I pulled a shirt over my head, deemed it too tight and reach for another. Devin’s comments about how good I looked crept into my mind. Had Devin always seemed so touchy? Did he compliment my sister as easily as he did me? I hadn’t paid much attention with Jordan so close. Which was stupid, I was too old for childhood crushes. I wasn’t a kid anymore; I’d seen too much. Jordan Slater shouldn’t knock me so off balance.
“You’re in a love triangle.” Breanna leaned on her elbows, she didn’t bother to hide her smirk as I fought
to straighten a faded blue t-shirt.
“How can I be in a love triangle when I’m not in love with anyone?” The lie echoed even in the quaint white washed bedroom of my childhood.
“You tell me, it’s your life. But boy, when you do something, you do it big.”
“You are ridiculous.” I huffed and stalked out of the room. I refused to fall into her trap and admit I had feelings for Jordan or admit Devin had feelings for me. At least, not out loud.
“I am not.” Her long strides caught up to me quickly. “Bye, Dad.”
She slid past me and leaned over the recliner to kiss our dad’s forehead. Rick Casey struggled into wakefulness and sleepily rubbed his mouth. “Y’all gone?”
“Yeah.” I kissed him in the same spot my sister had as I snatched my phone from the table beside him.
“Your brother going?” That was the elephant in the room. Aiden almost always went with us, never letting us do something so risky without using himself as our safety net. Now, it seemed like he spent more time driving around to find which bar or party his wife was holed up in.
“I don’t think so.” I shoved the phone into the pocket of my shorts. “Wendy wasn’t too happy with him staying at the track so late.” From what my sister had told me while I was gone, most likely Wendy would find some spiteful way to retaliate. It made me angry, because Aiden worked hard to take care of the kids. The racing made money too. Money Wendy was all too happy to spend…on herself.
Dad only grunted at the mention of my sister-in- law. I shook off the sinking sensation. It wasn’t my place to judge, maybe I did just need to give her chance. “Be careful. Riding with Jordan?”
“Like he’d let us go on our own.” Breanna swung her head around so that the ponytail bobbed. “He’s more protective than Aiden.”
“I love you, Daddy.” I leaned over to kiss his creased forehead one more time before leaving.
“I love you too, I’m glad you’re home.” His voice was a content rumble.
“Me too.” I wasn’t lying, either. Regardless of Devin or Jordan plus the twisting of regret and trepidation in my gut.
The sun had gone down, but the air was still as heavy as it had been earlier in the day when I’d made this trek across the same broken road. Nervous energy streaked through the palpable heat and knocked me right in the chest.
“Watch yourself, Raelynn, you’ll have them both chest pounding and throat punching.” If it weren’t for something sharp hidden just under the surface of her voice, I’d think Breanna was enjoying this too much.
“Shut up, Bree.” I lacked the energy to decipher the riddle in her voice.
She flung up her palms in defense. “I speak the truth, it’s the testosterone.”
Maybe it was the edge in her voice, maybe it was my anxiety, but something had me snapping at her. “Truth? Where’d you go when you got off work?” She wasn’t the only one who liked to watch people squirm.
She ignored the question and took a running leap at Jordan, who had walked out of his shop to greet us. “Hey, big guy!”
“What’s up, Breezy?” Jordan tossed a bag of tools into the back of his truck and caught my sister in mid- leap.
There was an ease to the way he spun her around in a hug, to the way he tugged on her ponytail. It was an ease he hadn’t had with me in years. An ease missing when I’d seen him earlier. Jealousy nipped at the back of my neck. You’re imagining things, seeing what isn’t here. You’re letting Breanna get to you.