I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I desire him. I never wanted to kiss anyone like this in my life. I lean into him, so I can taste more of him, but he shifts his face away.
He frowns. “But if I don’t send you away, you won’t have the life you deserve.”
I ignore him and cup the unmasked side of his face, and he doesn’t seem to mind. I feel his warmth and the cold, metallic touch beneath my skin. No, he is burning... feverish.
“You couldn’t know that.”
Brandon shuts his eyes as if in pain. He grits his teeth, and his face turns bright red. Unexpectedly, he stands and holds his chest, suddenly panting.
“Hey, are you all right? Oh my God!” I exclaim as he brusquely collapses on the floor. I instantly run to his side. “Brandon, what’s wrong?” I try to touch him, but his hand stops me.
I back away, but he grasps my wrist and looks at me instead.
“Alayna,” he whispers hoarsely. “I don’t want you to see me like this. I’m sorry, but you have to leave now.”
I touch my mouth, preventing my tears from falling.
“See you like what? Are you hurt somewhere? Do you need help? I could help you to—”
His grip tightens on my wrist, and he shakes his head. “Call Oliver, please...”
“All right,” I nod, panicking. “I... I’m going to call him.”
I don’t understand what’s going on with him anymore. Hurriedly, I stand and sprint out of the room, fortunately finding Oliver and Cassius outside the door. I trip, almost losing my balance.
Oliver catches me and holds my arm to steady me. “Alayna? What’s wrong? What happened?”
“I think he’s in pain,” I say, still dumbfounded. “I don’t know what happened.”
“What did you do to him?” Cassius asks, his tone accusatory.
I shake my head. “I don’t know! I didn’t do anything.”
“Did you touch him or not?” he insists.
“Yes!” I exclaim. “But he allowed me to.”
Oliver shuts his eyes and squeezes his temple. Cassius mutters a curse. Now I am utterly confused.
“Ollie, could you check Brandon? My briefcase is still inside. Give him the pill. He needs to sleep first before I give him the medicine,” Cassius instructs.
Oliver scowls. “Are you sure? He’s been sleeping all day.”
“I don’t have a choice. Go on, I’ll be after you. I need a word with Alayna here.”
Oliver briefly shoots me a glance and eventually nods, then walks into Brandon’s room. We watch him until he’s out of sight, and Cassius starts speaking.
“If you’d just told me the truth earlier, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“I don’t know what is going on, and no one is telling me anything. How could I possibly tell you, of all people, whether I touched him or not? That’s supposed to be a private matter,” I point out, my voice rising.
“Not to me,” he answers. “Look, it’s not my place to stop you or question whatever Brandon’s going to do with his life. But this has happened before, and I don’t want it to happen again. It almost killed him—”
“What do you mean it almost killed him?”
Isn’t that too much of an exaggeration? Who could die at a simple touch?
Cassius heaves a sigh and rests his hands on his waist. “This is much more complicated than I thought.”
“Can you just tell me what’s going on with him?”
“Brandon is ill, Alayna, and I’m not supposed to tell you this.”
“Ill?” I frown in surprise. “He seemed fine to me. He has scars, but those are just scars, right?”
“His sickness is not physical. It’s in here,” he explains, pointing out his temple. “It’s in his brain. He has a psychalgiaI let out a frustrated breath. A what? “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of that.”
Cassius tenses up. I can sense his hesitation, but eventually, he goes on. “It’s a psychological disorder caused by traumatic physical injury. His case is acute. It rarely happens, only affecting him when it’s triggered. As you can see, it has affected his way of living. This illness caused him to lock himself away from everything around him. He is traumatized, depressed, and grieving. Did you see the scar on his chest?”
“I did, yes. Accidentally.”
“That scar is only a scar. He doesn’t have any internal damage. But his body remembers the pain. If his brain tells him that it hurts, it is going to manifest as physical pain, and the pain is real.”
“A psychogenic pain,” I conclude.
“Something like that.”
I almost want to fall on my knees; my head is suddenly spinning. I know that he is suffering because he wouldn’t lock himself away if he were okay, but I didn’t expect this.“I want to know what happened to cause his scar,” I say.
“I’m sorry, Alayna, but in that case, I think you should ask Brandon. I cannot say anything more than I’ve already told you.”
My heart twitches and my breath quickens as I try to find the right words. “Who... who do you think hurt him?”
“No one knows what happened that night, Alayna. Only him.”
My throat dries up. Brandon probably doesn’t want to tell anyone because he doesn’t want to remember it. I guess I understand him. I was like this too, when my father passed away.
“Anyway, don’t take it too far if you’re leaving here anyway,” he continues. His statement sounds more like a piece of advice.
“What do you mean?”
“Brandon won’t make it a second time.” He looks at me with sincerity this time. “Alayna, I can see that you are a good person. However, this whole setup isn’t normal—for you or him. If you choose this path, you can never turn your back and do what you want. Are you ready for that kind of life?”
Turn back from the life that I want?
What do I want?
I only want to pluck my family out of poverty. I want to be a world-class chef, build my own restaurant, and see my mother healthy again. Those are my dreams. Those, and... probably start moving on from the horrors of my past. Since I arrived here, I’ve been too preoccupied with things to think about...that.Have I already forgotten about it?
I hate to admit, but Cassius is right. I can’t be so selfish as to turn my back on the reason I am here. I shouldn’t sacrifice everything just because I like someone. Maybe I just got carried away with the situation; maybe I’m too enchanted with Brandon and confused myself.
My life is not in this house. I didn’t expect that a short while in this mansion could change me so much.
“I’ve only known him for weeks!” I laugh mirthlessly. “And I don’t know if I’m able to stop.”
“Hey...”I shake my head. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“I believe my brother already spoke to you about this. There’s another way. You can still help him come out.”
“I already did.” A cold, stern voice abruptly thunders behind us. I jolt in shock when I find Brandon out of his room, still bare-chested and barefooted. His eyes glower at his cousin and me. The pain is still in his eyes as if he is barely able to withstand it. Oliver is just a step behind him.
“Brandon.” Cassius moves away from me.
“What the fuck are you telling Alayna?”
“I’m just explaining the situation.”
“And who gave you the right to say anything?”
“But it’s the truth, Brandon. Don’t you think she has the right to know?” Cassius’s voice remains calm.
“What to do you fucking know about the truth?” Brandon barks, but his piercing gray eyes dart to me.
“Brandon, you can do this later.” Oliver interrupts in front of us. “Go back to your room for now. It’s not good for you to be here. You’re still feverish and—”
“Isn’t this what everyone wants for me, Oliver? To come out of my fucking cave?” Brandon marches toward me, grabs my hand, and shoves me aside. Then he faces Cassius. “You just came back, and you think you know everything? Ah, it’s not even twenty-four hours, and you’re putting your nose where it doesn’t belong.”
“It’s not like that, Brandon.” Cassius remains composed.
“I told you that being my doctor is the only thing you can do for me after what you did last year. So why do you keep getting in the way?” Brandon asks angrily.
“Why don’t you give people a chance?” Cassius says. “You don’t give anything a chance. I told you I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I left this house because I thought you would do better without me but look at you now.”
“I was willing to welcome you back!” Brandon’s eyes are wide. “But you just fucking blew it up when you started to open your mouth.”
“I can’t believe you are still this immature.” Cassius pauses and glances at me. “Until when are you going to keep her here?”
Brandon seethes under his breath. “It’s none of your fucking business.”
“Face reality, Brandon. Everyone here around you has a life.”
Oliver doesn’t say anything, but he hurls out a deep breath.
“Lennie gave up her freedom just to stay with you,” Cassius continues. “You can’t expect everyone to stay with you forever, doing nothing but keeping their mouth shut. Don’t you think that Lennie deserves a life that’s more than this? We deserve to know why we’re doing this so we can help you. How about Oliver? Did you ever ask him what he wanted in his life? He’s always been with you, ever since your—”
“Are you done?” Brandon cuts him off with a shout. “Do you think I didn’t know any of that? Did I ask all of you to do that for me? I didn’t ask you—”
“No, you didn’t.” Cassius smirks. “We did this to ourselves. Is that what you are trying to say here? Can’t you see how selfish you’ve become? Now there’s Alayna. She’s not Oliver or me. I know that it’s not my place, but someone should tell her what she’s dealing with.”
“Cassius, no,” Oliver interjects, grabbing his brother by the shoulder. “That’s enough.”
He jerks away. “No, Ollie. I wanted to tell him this so he will stop treating everyone as his servants.”
“Excuse me, can I just say something?” I finally interrupt after listening to their quarrel. “Everyone here has a point, but this conversation doesn’t if everyone is angry, don’t you all think? Do not let this lead to something worse.”
None of them answer.
“It’s past twelve, and I think all of us should take a rest,” I then say.