“W-What do you want?”
“I said I want you. Are those words not clear?”
“I thought you hate being touched,” I say breathlessly. “Why are you doing this now?”
He chuckles. “Is that what you think of me?” he asks.
“What do you want from me?” I continue to wriggle. “Please, let me go. I can’t feel my hands anymore.”
Brandon lifts me, then lays me on the couch, clasping my wrists and pinning my hands above me. “Better? Am I making you uncomfortable?”
I squirm against him again, but he is keeping his grasp tight.
“If this is about Oliver, you should not—”
“This is about you and me,” his voice thickens. “Do you like him so much that you think this is about him?”
“You should stop. He’s been friendly to me, always.”
His eyes study me. “Let’s say he is. You didn’t answer my question.”
I look away from his intense gaze. I jerk my arms from his grip and shove at his chest, then sit up.
“No, I don’t, and even if I liked him...” I lift my chin. “What are you going to do about it? Am I not allowed to like someone in the house?”
Someone like you? Someone so mysterious and with too many issues?He lets out a humorless laugh and slumps back on the couch. His eyes turn icy. “I was right all along.” His jaw twitches. “You like my cousin. And to answer your question, I won’t allow you to like someone in my house.”
I agree. I can’t like you.“I told you I don’t like Oliver.” I grit my teeth. His mistaken statement and ideas are starting to piss me off. “Oliver is the only person in this house I can be friends with, and I don’t understand what the hell you meant about not sharing. You don’t own me. No one owns me.”
He looks away from me, stands up, and walks off. “Please leave, Alayna. I guess I can’t talk to you like this.”
What the heck? He just told me he wanted me, and now he’s asking me to leave? What a mercurial man!
“You know that you can’t possibly shake me like this, then just make me leave. Fine,” I snap. He’s confusing me about everything...
I stand up and head toward the door.
He is so unpredictable and hard to please. He is a huge mess that I need not pay attention to, or I’ll just get myself hurt in the end. I’m about to open the door when he speaks.
“Because you make me feel alive again,” he suddenly confesses, and there is a note of defeat in his voice. His footsteps approach me. “I’ve been dead for so long, and Oliver is the only person who stayed for the last decade of my pathetic existence. And you like him, Alayna. It’s too complicated.”
“You made yourself into this person,” I say, still facing the door. “People in the house care about you, but you just can’t see it.”
He is now behind me, and gently he turns me around. “You don’t know me,” he hisses, then points to his mask. “You don’t know the nightmare beneath this thing.”
“I don’t judge you, really. And do you think that thingHe lets go of my hand and sighs. “Where have you been all this time?”
“Do you really want me to leave?”
He lifts his hand and cups my face. My heart rate rises as I feel his thumb brush my cheek. He steps even closer. He’s never been closer to me than he is now.
“If you don’t go...” he whispers. “I can’t stay away from you anymore.” His mouth is an inch from mine. We are close enough that we could kiss.
How can a simple yet gentle touch like his make my whole body shiver? This is different. HeI’ve been in a painful relationship before, and I tried to close myself off to unwanted feelings that would trigger my nightmares. I feel safe doing that. Falling in love for me is always out of the picture, but no one has ever made me feel this way. The excitement, the desire, the urges... He isn’t even doing anything.
I stare up at his face—masked or unmasked, I don’t care anymore.
“I saw how Oliver looked at you,” he murmurs. “I can’t want someone my cousin likes.”
This man really has no idea.
“Stop jumping to conclusions,” I tell him. “You don’t know anything about your cousin. You should try to understand the people living in your house. You should start to see the world.”
If what he said is true—if he really likes me—then maybe I could use this chance to make him come out of his room.
“But I can’t.”
“It’s been a long time. You’ve been here for ten years. You can’t stay in here forever.”
“Do you know how much I wanted to get justice for my family’s death?” Suddenly, he is opening up. “Do you know why I can’t grasp this opportunity, even when I’m so close to finding them?”
“Why?”
“I’m not capable of going out. It’s all useless.”
I raise my hand and try to touch him, but I stop myself. I remember he didn’t want to be touched.
“I’m sorry,” I say, but he catches my wrist.
“It’s fine,” he whispers, searching my eyes.
“You don’t mind if I touch you?”
He shakes his head.
I smile a little and touch his hand again. Willingly, he entwines his fingers around mine. My heart melts at the sweet gesture.
“I don’t know what’s going on with your life, and I’m not going to ask. But this should end. You have to start living. Maybe take a stroll around your house.”
He shakes his head again. “Too many people. I can’t.”
“Well, you can try when there’s no one around. The staff sleeps at ten-thirty.”
He lets out a forced laugh. “Do you think I didn’t know that? Oliver and I set those rules.”
I grin. “Shall I walk with you if you do, then?”
“What if they see me?”
“What are you afraid of?”
He grits his teeth. “I’m not stupid. I know that it’s strange for people to see someone wearing a mask.”
“You’re shaking.”
“I’m fine.”
I attempt to touch his arm, using my other hand. “You feel amazing.”
“Do I?” A playful smile curls at the corners of his lips. He is so beautiful.
“It makes me feel that you’re real. Not a distant stranger.” I meet his gaze. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“If only you knew the monster in me, you’d be trembling in fear.”
“Everyone has a monster, even me. But life must go on, I guess. We can’t always get whatever we want.”
He stops holding me. “You may be right, but I can’t protect you if I’m like this, Alayna.”
“Why would I need protection?” I ask in confusion.
“You don’t need to understand. I’m already saying too much, and too much isn’t good—at least for us. Let’s talk about this some other time, Alayna. I want to rest.” He is dismissing me; he is just too erratic.
I groan inwardly because I don’t want to leave him yet, but the man needs his space. I steal a simple touch of his arm and finally manage to go.
BRANDONGod, no. What have I done?
There is nothing else I could do but send her away. I’m only trying to bear the anguish I feel in my chest the moment she is close to me. I like the feeling of her skin, her warmth, the look on her face when she smiles...
But damn it, it all burns me. I still can’t bear it. I thought I was getting better, but it is still there.
I’m wrong. I’m only getting worse.
I clench my fists over my chest. “Fuck! Not again,” I groan. It is burning, and it is too damned painful.
Where is Oliver?“It hurts. My chest, my head, my face. God, it all hurts.I fall on my knees. I can’t feel anything but the scorching in my chest. I force myself to stand and grope the phone with all my remaining strength, pressing the speed dial.
Oliver answers at the first ring. “Brandon?”
“Where are you?” I ask, catching my breath.
“Brandon, what’s wrong?”
“I need you right now,” I grunt. “Please, brother...”
“I’m on my way.”
It is the last word I hear from him, and everything goes dark.