The night was young and cold. The water tides rippled in the pool, aggressively whacking Orla's exposed feet.
She shuddered, the chillness of the night causing goosebumps to sprinkle all over her skin.
Both of them were perched on the coping of the swimming pool in their mansion, eyes fixated on the moon that was densely setting in the sky that night.
The stars were beautifully lined up, making it a sensational sight for them to view. Orla dangled her feet in the cold water, head naturally resting on Callan's hard chest.
"I'm freezing, Callan." She murmured, audible enough for him to hear.
He drew her closer, draping the towel in his hand around her shoulders. The material veiled her skin coolly.
After a long day, she had proposed that they spend time in the pool that night but never swimming. She wasn't certain she could, not after what had happened to her.
Callan protested against the idea, but she pleaded with him. She had never been to a poolside since that afternoon, thinking she'd be scared of water, but surprisingly, she wasn't. But it only refreshed the memory she was trying to bury.
"Can we go back now?" They had spent the thirty minutes she proposed that they should.
The stillness in the air was discomfiting and Callan didn't appreciate that. He loved it when she was vocal, when she talked to him. But not this overly quiet Orla.
He speculated about what could be running through her mind as she smiled at the moon. Maybe some kindergarten poems about moons? Maybe skies? Or even stars.
"The pool was almost this size." She smiled, swaddling herself with the towel. "Mom and Dad had gone for a dinner date. They promised to get us strawberry ice cream and croissants if we stayed in our best behaviors and didn't stress our sisters. We promised, Isla and I promised her to be of good behavior." She let out sniffles. The sound of it attracted Callan's attention.
He gazed at her, intensely. Although it was getting dark, there was a halogen light bulb that brightened up the poolside and with the aid of that, Callan could glimpse the unshed tears that welled up in Orla's eyes.
Sighing, he reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze. "You don't have to talk about it now. I will wait until you are ready." He smiled reassuringly.
Orla nodded her head. She loved that he was understanding and gentle with her, but she was ready to say a little about it to heave the weight off her chest, the weight she had carried around for years.
"You are so nice to me. I hope this lasts." She ran her fingers on Callan's palm that was on the coping.
"Orla…"
The words stuck in his mouth. He understood her fear.
"She warned us not to go close to the poolside and we agreed, but changed our mind a few hours later. If only we didn't, if only Sophia hadn't left to get us juice. Maybe we wouldn't have changed our mind and maybe Isla would still be alive now and…" Weighty pleats of tears dropped down her face, large and uncontrollable. "I have not known peace since she died. Sometimes, I feel like I shouldn't be here—I should have died with her, I should have followed after she left, I—"
Callan placed his lips on hers, wet and warm. He shushed her. She was being cruel. How would he have met her if she had died? He brushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. When she had calmed down, he raised his head to look at her and reinstated his posture.
"Don't say that. Thinking that way is selfish." He avowed, his expression blank.
But as Orla stared into his eyes, she grasped darkness and maybe chagrin.
He blandly let go of her hand that was intertwining his. Massaging her hand against her cold nose, she sniffled and continued.
"Isla was sweet, the best part of me. She wasn't just a twin, she was my best friend and we did virtually everything together. We were even together on the day she died. I was with her but I couldn't save her when she was drowning, I couldn't do anything." Her voice was low and teary. "I watched my sister surrender into the cold hands of death. I watched her die, Callan."
"How old were you?" He didn't ask to judge her.
He wanted to know how to comfort her, how to let her know that there was nothing she could do to save her sister and that it wasn't her fault except that Orla wouldn't take that, she already faulted herself a very long time ago.
She took the blame on herself. Everyone did blame her. That one incident and one other was the reason she was referred to as The Witch of the Sullivan family.
"It was two weeks to our eighth birthday, just two weeks but we never got to celebrate that day as we had planned to. Disneyland, Barbie—the different birthday themes we had in mind. The one mom promised to let us have if we did well in school. We never had them." She shut her eyes for a moment, hot tears flowing like a river.
Callan let her cry. It was okay to cry if she would feel better afterwards. She flipped her hair to the side and smiled back at Callan.
"I am sorry. I don't talk about this, you are the first person I am telling this to. Guess that's why I am so emotional."
"It's okay." He jerked her closer, wiping her tears with his thumb. "I can't stop this, but I promise to wipe your tears whenever you cry." The floral scent of her shampoo assailed his nose as he drew her close.
He shut his eyes, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Callan," she smiled again transiently.
"You were young and wouldn't have probably done anything to save her."
"I should have stopped her from getting too close. Isla was the quiet and shy twin, she only talked and was dauntless whenever she was with me. She couldn't air her needs to other people, she did it only when we were alone. And that afternoon when she was going close, I should have stopped her. I did, but maybe I should—have tried harder. I just didn't know that one could be gone forever from falling into the pool. I didn't know that I could lose my sister that way. I never thought I could, it only became clear that one could die that way when Isla—" she hesitated, the words too heavy to accept, but that was the reality. Tears dripped down her cheeks, "died," the word dropped, lancing her heart into shreds.
He let her cry again, relaxing her nerves before she continued. He had promised not to rush her and to listen to all she had to say no matter how many times she broke down while explaining her ordeals to him.
Callan wasn't easily moved when one talked to him. He had never been moved, but having Orla in his arms, shedding tears as she talked stabbed his chest. He loathed to see a tear drop from her eyes.
"Sophia left us to get juice and my sister wanted to find out how deep the pool was. I wasn't strict enough. I gave in, promising to keep it a secret. Oh, how foolish I was." She snickered, wriggling her head in pity. "I never knew that would be the last time, I never knew that would be the end of us. She missed a step and that was the end of her story here on earth, just a step."
"I am sorry about that. It wasn't your fault. No one should fault you for that." Callan said.
"Maybe but mommy died shortly after Isla's demise. She was unhappy, the smile on her face disappeared after Isla died. She fell so sick and died two years later."
"That too, wasn't your fault." Callan convinced her. Orla hissed, he didn't know how serious the issue was in their family. It wasn't something trivial, Callan only thought it was. "That's the reason behind the hatred, isn't it?"
"Is that not enough reason?" Tears clouded her vision as she looked up to Callan.
Orla sobbed, pondering the part of the story she couldn't tell Callan. The part where Mia screamed to the whole house that she pushed Isla into the pool, the part Mia grabbed her asking why she did that, the part she called everyone and accused Orla of pushing her sister into the pool.
The part where everyone aside from her mother pointed at her, dubbing her a killer. She contemplated it before starting the story, but she couldn't bring herself to tell Callan that she was termed a killer in her family. It broke her, thinking about it all broke her.
Orla didn't know how Callan perceived her, but she hoped he didn't see as a killer either. She wasn't one, she didn't push her sister, she was sure she didn't.