He was mad at himself for being so careless and stupid.
"Really?" She didn't believe him. The look she gave him hurt more than the accusations against him.
"Orla, please. We just started this. I know I have been an asshole. I have done so many terrible things to you, but I will make up for all if you give me the chance to." He neared her, breathing erratically.
His erratic breaths connected with Orla's and she immediately backed away. She hated that she still yearned for his touch even at this critical point. She shouldn't even be thinking about him.
"You must have thought that sorry would fix things when you were sleeping with those women." Her eyes held so much pain and anger.
The side Callan had never seen and it scared him so much. He hated to know that he was the cause of her pain.
"I know you hated me, but not with three women, Callan. That was too much, utmost disrespect." Tears spilled down her cheeks again. "I can't get over this, it hurts so much."
"Orla, you can take forever to forgive me, but please—" he wasn't sure he wanted to utter the remaining words, but what was the point of running from his true feelings?
He needed her, he wouldn't function well if Orla left him. That would be the end of him.
"Don't leave me, Orla. I will be lost without you."
Her heart skipped a beat when Callan said those words. She knew they were true, but she couldn't easily jump at him and forgive him after all he had done.
"Did you just realize that you will be lost without me?" She stared into his eyes, beholding his gaze that swept her off her feet.
She loved this man, more than she had ever loved anyone. It was wrong in all ways. He hurt her. She should loathe him, but no matter how hard she tried, the hatred didn't seem to be working.
"Orla, I have known this for a long time." He said truthfully.
"You knew this, yet you cheated on me."
"I did because I didn't want to admit to what I truly felt about you. I was wrong, I was foolish. I was everything bad, I accept." He attempted to touch her but she jerked away from him.
"Don't come close, Callan."
Callan hated that warning tone. Orla never used that on him until last week. If only he could turn back the hands of the clock and go back to the first time he met her. He wouldn't try to hurt her. He wouldn't do that to her.
As she looked at him again, she was scared the feelings would never be the same again. She would always see her husband as the man who slept with her sister and three other women behind her back.
She wasn't ready to handle that trauma. She had two options; the first was to forgive Callan and forget all that happened. But everything was too much to forget, and the second option seemed easier; divorcing Callan at the early stage of their marriage, starting all over again to avoid being traumatized.
Orla knew the second option wouldn't work now that she was almost stranded and hadn't even figured out her life. She had no friends and definitely couldn't go back to her Father's house after everything that she went through there.
Even if she wanted to leave Callan, she had to get her life in place and her new job was a big step up for her. Though it was courtesy of Callan, and she was partially grateful for that.
The universe sure did have a way of coming through for her whenever she was out of decisions. Leaving the marriage was the best way to get over the damages that Callan had caused.
She had to work diligently so she could pave the way for herself.
She countered herself as she strategized. She seemed ungrateful, something inside of her whispered that she was indebted to Callan, and she should let go. She should forgive and forget all about what happened, but it wasn't right.
He had hurt her. Even though he had been the reason she was ever truly happy, it didn't justify the fact that he cheated on her. She was hurting, she couldn't let go so easily.
Callan watched, wondering what was going through her mind as she stared at him. Whatever it was, he hoped that it would be in his favour.
In that tense atmosphere, the alarm on Orla's phone beeped, reminding her that she had thirty minutes to get to work.
To leave a good impression, she didn't want to be late for work. Mia was still part of the coordinators, she already hated that Orla was the one selected to take on the project, and she was waiting for the slightest mistake to delete her from the project.
Orla didn't want to fall into her sister's trap. So she took a step forward and away from Callan.
"I have to go now." She said, not looking at Callan.
"Orla, you still haven't told me where you are going. You don't even want me to drop you off."
"Yes, because I don't want to be around you. Seeing your face makes me so angry, Callan."
Those words punctured a part of his heart. He was certain there was already a hole that could only be filled if she forgave him.
"Will you ever forgive me?"
"You have hurt me too much, Callan. The only way to forget about this is to let go of each other. Maybe this marriage shouldn't have happened," she shrugged her shoulders. "It wouldn't have happened if you didn't choose me. Well, Mia is still single, you can go back to her."
"I want no one but you," Callan said furiously. He hated that she kept on mentioning Mia.
He didn't like Mia, he had never liked her.
Whatever happened between him and Mia was just a one-night thing. He wouldn't have slept with her if he knew she was a Sullivan. It was just a tipsy night that he's regretting now. He wished he never met Mia that night.
She stood a distance away from him, carefully analyzing all that she had thought about and only one kept occurring to her to do. Only that one seemed to be the solution no matter how much she thought of other things.
"Callan," she called his name, firmer than she always did.
Callan's heart palpitated as if he knew what was coming.
"Really, sorry will not fix this. I don't think things can work out anymore. I want a divorce from this side." She dropped, completely shattering him.
"Orla, we can fix this." He made for her hand, rendering her senses weak.
"We can't. Callan, we can't." She shook her head, backing away from him. "I have to go now."
"Orla!"
Within a twinkle of an eye, she had disappeared out of the living room and Callan was scared, it felt like she had disappeared out of his life.
He punched his fist against the wall, the pain and blood that gushed out didn't hurt at all, the pain in his chest was more.
He had fucked up big time, and Orla might truly mean her words if she wanted a divorce.
Hello, My Beautiful Readers.