Her heavy breaths could fan the face of every pack member in the crowd. She watched with tremors and weakness in her body as their judging eyes began to roll in dismissal.
She turned her head an inch to the side, just to see Jax for a second and gain some courage.
Lola looked and tried to meet his eyes, she just needed him to look at her for a moment but he seemed occupied. Her eyes followed Jax's and she saw how he and Ash were having a stare down.
Everyone was waiting, exaggerated sighs and nonchalant head tosses were pushing her luck on getting Jax's attention.
She drew a deep breath and filled her lungs before it all disappeared anew.
"To lead is to trust, it is to believe in the ones who follow and trust that they see what you do not. As Luna, I devote my life, my honor, and my soul to this pack and to the members who so valiantly choose to call it their home. Some have been here for generations dating back to the very beginning, others are new- invited by friends or family and some have come because of rumor or hope. That is what the Shadow Pack is, it is hope, hope for a better future- a more valiant, vibrant, and valuable life for all of our members. A place where we work together, fight together, and protect what is ours- together." She stopped and turned again to see Jax's face. The next part spoke to him and to their marriage but something in her gut wasn't getting along with the words or maybe it was the way they were written.
"I pledge my loyalty to my husband, Alpha Jax Blackwood. I swear on my life as Luna and leader of this pack to follow him in his quest to make an already great pack even greater. His missions are mine and his-" she stopped for a beat, "-his orders I will fulfill. My love for my Alpha will shine through in my leadership and in my devotion to my husband and my pack." She turned her head but this time it wasn't Jax that she wanted to find, it was the person who wrote the letter. Lavina was smilingly talking away with a gleeful Mrs. Blackwood. The pack members were lovingly watching Lola and listening to her speech but all the while knowing she wasn't the one who wrote it.
"It's beautiful," one of the pack members whispered to her friend.
They subtly looked over at Lavina and smiled, bowing their heads and raising their glasses in the air.
Jax drank from the chalice and then held it up for Lola to take her drink. The blood tasted on her tongue and ran down her throat, a drop escaped down the side of her mouth and she fought to keep it all down. He carried the chalice away and Lola stood alone looking out over their heads.
Lola was the one who had spoken but they weren't hearing her voice with the words, they were hearing Lavina's. With a lump growing by the minute and a voice in her head telling her to look straight ahead, Lola chose to catch Jax's gaze. He was smiling, his eyes glimmered with love and admiration just like the pack members, and just like the pack members he too was looking at Lavina.
One after the other they all started clapping their hands. With grand smiles and glowing yellow eyes, some even howled up at the sky.
Jax turned his head, clapping his hands and smiling from ear to ear; until he saw her. When his eyes landed on Lola and her utterly confused expression, his face fell into question.
His hands slowed down and his lips parted. The creases by his eyes deepened and his jaw clenched when the pain shot through him of being linked as Alpha to the entire pack. The ceremony was over and normally the Alpha and Luna would together experience the rush of being tied to the other members; the mixture of paralyzing pain and euphoric pleasure as they rose as leaders.
Jax fell to his knee on the stage, he laughed when the pain surged through him and his eyes started glowing when Landon stepped up to the front.
They cheered, hell, they screamed at the top of their lungs and Lola looked around in panic at the scene.
Saliva flew from Jax's mouth when his canines extended, still down on one knee he lifted his head and a loud growl rumbled from him.
"Jax?" Lola asked and stepped towards him slowly.
He looked almost possessed as his body writhed and a smile widened on his lips.
"Are you okay?" She whispered and kneeled in front of him.
Her hands jerked, she wanted to reach out to him and to comfort him if he were in pain but she was scared of what he might do.
"I'm so fucking good," he laughed menacingly.
Lavina ran up on stage and fell to her knees next to him.
Her hand shot out and grabbed his arm and she turned his head so he watched her.
"Here," she handed him a vial.
"It's from your mom," Lavina said under her breath. Jax unplugged the vial, he looked suspiciously at the red liquid and downed it in one go.
"What did you give him?" Lola asked worriedly and moved closer. She grabbed his arm and felt his pulse slowing down, his lips tugged in a soft smile and he was coming down from his high.
"It's just cherry blossom sap mixed with cinnamon extract, it slows the heart rate and calms the mind. Just now when Jax was tied to every single pack member- his wolf and himself connected to every wolf and every human soul here. It's a high that no drug can ever resemble but it's hard to come down from it without any help," Lavina said.
It was a fierce celebration happening behind Lola's back with the entire pack jumping and screaming for their new leader but her eyes were on Jax the entire time. A worry started forming inside of her when Jax lifted his head and she saw his face- he looked different somehow. He pushed away from the floor and stood up straight for the whole pack to see and the noise- the noise that rumbled the ground and filled any remaining silence filled the air.
"Alpha Jax Blackwood everyone," Lavina said and stepped back. She smiled, from ear to ear, and clapped her hands proudly.
"And Luna Lola Blackwood." She said and ushered Lola to the front of the stage next to Jax. Lavina stepped back again and let the Alpha couple have their moment but it was clear where the gazes of the people were glimpsing.
Lola could feel it clearly, how the pack turned towards another leader, one that wasn't her. She knew that she wasn't what they needed but she also knew that Jax would stand up for her.
Everything was changing, the wind was shifting direction and soon many things would become clearer in the pack and in their lives. She knew this feeling all too well, the calm before the storm and the premature celebrations; soon everyone would look back on the day and think of how happy they'd been when they stood facing their fears in another shape.
Meanwhile, Melissa stood proudly and watched her friend on the stage, looking uncomfortably around at her new home and family.
She turned her head and looked away from Lola, her eyes locked in on the shape by the door. It was Ed, he looked like he hadn't slept for days with the circles around his eyes and the tussled hair.
With the cheerful celebration and the tossing of glasses, it was hard for Ed to make it to the corner where Melissa was standing.
She knew he wouldn't come, he watched with a horror-like expression as the people behaved like animals and that's when it dawned on her that Ed had no idea what it was that was happening here.
Melissa hurried to him, she walked alongside the wall and reached him just in time to drag him inside the house and shut the doors. Just as the glass doors close, two guys jump against them in a violent cheer and howl loudly up at the sky.
"What is happening here?" Ed asked.
"Never mind that, why are you here?" Melissa asked and crossed her arms over her chest. She knew that she didn't look much better with her bloodshot eyes and her red nose.
He nibbled on his lip and hid his hands in his pockets.
"I never meant to hurt you," he said quietly.
"If that were true, you would stay."
Ed smiled.
"I am," he said, "I got the job at your parents' company, I don't have to go."