Was there a right thing to say when being told that your husband's ex-girlfriend was moving back? Not only to the same town but also the same house. And that she was single because her mate had been killed.
Lola was standing in shock trying to find the right words.
"I-I'm sorry for your loss," Lola said. Lavina smiled through the tears and buried her nose in the napkin.
"Let's talk outside," Jax said and guided Lola out of the study.
They walked out of the mansion and around the big estate to the edge of the hill.
"I'm sorry to spring all of this on you like this but she's a mess and she's alone now,"
Lola shook her head.
"I understand, you don't have to explain yourself." She said.
They walked to the bench overlooking the townhouses and sat down. Lola's leg brushed against Jax's and in a moment of discomfort, she folded one leg over the other to create a distance.
"How does it feel to have her back?" She asked. Jax shrugged his shoulders and smiled but he had caught the gesture, watched her pull her legs away and the pain showed in his eyes.
"We've known each other our whole lives so it feels normal I guess. That's why I told her to come back when she explained that her mate passed away. She belongs here. This is her home."
Lola stiffened against the backrest of the bench and felt the coolness of the wood seep through the fabric of her clothes.
"It was your idea to have her move back?" She asked and couldn't hide the judgment in her tone.
Jax turned and watched her.
"Yes," he said, completely unashamed.
Lola drew a shaky breath and looked out over the rooftops.
"It doesn't change anything," he explained and moved closer.
She furrowed her brows and started picking at her nail beds. She chewed on her lip and heaved a sigh that forced her shoulders down.
"Don't you feel like everything has changed already?" It was the feeling that ate at her every day. Things weren't the same anymore, not that they had ever been normal but they had always been safe when it came to her and Jax.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
Lola choked back a sob at the thought of what she was about to say.
"You don't look at me the same way anymore. Now, whenever I see you watching, it's with this deep-seated anger in your eyes and it's constantly there," she explained, "it's like every time you look at me you're reminded of everything that's bad and the only time you're happy is for example at the harvest moon festival when you were talking to the mayor. You were smiling, I haven't seen that smile in..." she blew out a breath that shook her lips when she thought back to the last time they were happy together.
"Do you remember the last time you were happy with me?" Her voice was timid and quiet.
Jax watched her, something flashed in his eyes and the muscles in his face were moving in trembles.
He looked to be in pain as his face contorted in a grimace and he clenched his jaw roughly.
"A lot has happened, Lola, that doesn't mean that anything has changed in regards to my feelings for you," he said very professionally- reminding her again of what a great businessman he will be.
"Is it different when you see her? When you talk to her?" She didn't want an honest answer but the question left her lips before she could stop it.
"She means nothing to me but a friend, someone I have known since I was a baby." He said quickly with no hesitation.
"Are you sure that her being here won't stir up any old feelings?"
Jax scoffed.
He sucked on his teeth and wrinkled his nose.
"You still have no idea what I feel for you. Fuck it's hard when it's a human," he spat mostly to himself as he stood up and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Jax," she walked after him and stopped a few inches away.
Lola reached up and put her hands on his back, gently touching against his arm and feeling him stiffen at the contact. He always used to relax when she touched him, melt under her touch, and beg for more.
Jax turned around and grabbed her hand, he pressed it against his chest, just over his heart, and closed his eyes as he leaned against her.
"I'm yours, Lola, I've said it a million times and I don't know what else I can do to prove it to you," he murmured under his breath.
Their heads leaned against each other and both closed their eyes. She just needed to feel him, to be in his presence without him rushing off to do something else.
"What can I do to make you believe me?" He asked.
"Be with me, stop sending Ash, and actually show up. Stop spending all of your time trying to prevent something from happening and instead enjoy the moments we have together. That's what you can do," she said, her voice hinting at the pleas that screamed in her head. A breeze swept in and cooled her arms, goosebumps formed on her skin but Jax nodded his head against her and brought her closer.
"I will, I promise," he said and pressed his lips against hers.
Her body heated, warming up against his body. He cupped her cheek and deepened the kiss as they stood on the hill in each other's company, undisturbed for the first time in a long time.
Lola couldn't get enough and never wanted it to end but she parted her lips, inviting him in, and felt that something was off.
She had kissed him more times than she could count and knew exactly what his lips felt like. She remembered how he tasted and the touch of his fingers against her skin, how his grip tightened and he pressed harder against her like he couldn't get close enough.
This was different, the taste of his lips was the same but the way that his tongue moved was rushed almost impatiently. His hands were grabbing her but it was as though he couldn't decide on the pressure. She felt him against her, their bodies weren't moving as they once had- in perfect unison. Lola remembered every time he had touched her because those were the times she truly felt safe and calm. The hold on her heart upon the realization that it wasn't the same was like a death blow.
Lola pulled away, she gazed into his dark eyes and felt his touch soften on her face.
"Is everything okay?" She asked him. Looking at him now was like seeing a painting of a person that looked so familiar but with clear distinctions.
Jax backed away and dropped his hands.
"Why'd you stop?" He asked.
Those dark eyes suddenly narrowed and swirled with detectable anger. He stepped closer and shook his head in annoyance with a huff leaving his lips.
"You're behaving strangely, Jax. I'm worried about you,"
"Seriously, this again? Is this about Lavina?"
Lola stepped back and dropped her shoulders.
"No of course not," she said in an exhale, "I'm just expressing concern for your weird behavior. Haven't you noticed that you're not acting like yourself?"
"Honestly the only thing I've noticed is that you're getting jealous and finding problems where there aren't any,"
He turned and was about to walk away when he stopped. With a heavy sigh, he reached back and took something out of his pocket. His steps were heavy against the hill as he stormed over to Lola and nonchalantly handed her a phone with the plastic still covering the screen.
"Here, it's your old number and I've put your regular contacts in already." For a split second his gaze softened on hers but then he turned around and left in a huff.
"Wait why are you leaving?"
"I have stuff to do, we'll talk later," he said without looking over his shoulder.
She stood there in paralyzing shock and utter disbelief over his behavior. Lola didn't know where to go, something was going on with Jax, he wasn't acting like himself and she knew that but she couldn't put her finger on what the problem was.
The choices she had were to either walk back and be in the house with Jax and Lavina or she could stay here alone and in peace. Her fingers tensed around the phone as she walked to the bench and took a seat. There was not a chance that she could walk in there and pretend that everything was fine right now. Lavina being here only complicated her already complicated situation with Jax.
What if feelings appeared that Jax thought were gone and he starts seeing Lavina as something other than an ex? Could that be what had happened to make him so cold and distant? She wondered.
Lola buried her face in her hands and let out a muffled scream.
"Did that help?"
She jerked upright when she heard Ash's voice. He walked with a soft grace over the hill with his hands tucked in his pockets.
"No," she said.
He took a seat next to her and they sat there looking out over the roofs and the horizon.
"You're worried," he said.
"About what? My husband's smoking hot, newly single, ex-girlfriend?" She scoffed, "Please,"
"Glad to know you're not wallowing in self-pity over having to share your territory," He mused.
"It's a big house and it's hardly my territory," She cocked her head to glare at him.
"I wasn't referring to the house," Ash said.