Chloe
“Turn again, let me see you from the side,” Jazmin instructed.
I did as she said, showing off the silhouette of the dress better and the way it cinched at my waist. The gown as gorgeous; three-quarter-length sleeves with a high neck and coming down well below my knees in a flattering A-line cut. The sleeves and all above the bust was mostly sheer with slight hints of dark blue from the tulle it was made of, but the centre was an explosion of embroidered flowers that cascaded downward toward the mostly sheer hemline. It was probably the classiest I’d ever felt while still showing so much skin.
And it cost a fucking fortune.
I’d fallen in love with the dress instantly but couldn’t bring myself to ask Alex for the funds needed to buy it since I was short several thousand. Jaz texted him when I wasn’t looking and next thing I knew he was wiring her some cash and telling me to go wild. I almost fainted in front of the clerk.
So this dress had to be worth every penny, I needed it to look perfect, and I needed my lingerie to create the most flattering version of my body possible to look as perfect as possible.
“Stop picking at your nails!” She threw a makeup brush at my head that I dodged with a yelp. “You can’t have chipped nails and a nine-thousand-dollar dress, I won’t allow it.”
I turned and eyed myself in the mirror questioningly. “What if he doesn’t like it?”
“It doesn’t matter if he likes it, he’s like a dog, he’s just happy to be noticed.”
I scoffed and cut her a sharp look. Alex was not a dog. Not even a horn-dog. “Well, I care about his opinion.”
“Well, you shouldn’t.”
“But I do,” I whispered to myself.
My hand brushed down the front of my dress as I met my eyes in the mirror. Alex had sent me a small itinerary of things for us to do in Barcelona, including visiting Gran Teatre del Liceu, the opera house to watch a production of Midsummer Night’s Dream. I’d never gone to see a show like that, let alone in a real theatre. Their website said there was no dress code, but at the same time I knew I couldn’t just walk in there with one of the few dresses in my closet. And, if I was being real, I wanted to show him that I wasn’t a whiny little girl, I could class it up.
“Do you think the heels are too much?” I asked, sweeping the dress back. “They aren’t too slutty?”
She snickered. “No, they make you look suspiciously normal sized for once.”
With a huff, I pulled the shoes off and made like I was going to throw one at her head. Jaz just rolled her eyes dramatically before getting up and helping me out of the dress. I didn’t let the garment even brush the floor, I immediately had the black bag ready and hung it up on the back of my door.
The smell of dinner had started to waft upstairs, I paused with my hand on the bag and breathed the scent in. Maybe I can cook for Alex sometime. He was never home, that’s what he told me, and I’d eaten more at restaurants with him in the past month than in my entire life – he had to appreciate a home cooked meal. I probably couldn’t do it while we were staying in a hotel, but I would figure something out.
“Have you told your parents yet?” Jaz asked, dragging me back to reality. “You got all quiet last night when I brought it up.”
Nope. I couldn’t turn around and look her in the eye. I’d chickened out so many times over telling Mama about this trip and now it was literally the night before and I had no one to blame but myself. It made my stomach twist into knots when I thought about it; how big of a lie it would be, how I’d never kept anything from my mother in my life and now I wanted to lie about going to another country.
“Koritsi mou!”
The sound of Mama’s shrill yell assaulted my ears and brought relief down on me in a wave. I jerked the door open quickly and called back down, “Yeah?”
“Is Jazmin staying for dinner?”
I glanced back at the other girl who shook her head vehemently. “No,” I answered.
“Then it’s time for her to leave, come down here!”
I sighed and shut the door. “Sorry, you know how she is…”
Jaz laughed it off and grabbed her jacket from off my desk. “Right, I forgot you’re secretly a five-year-old that needs mommy to tell you when playtime is over.”
Geez. My eyebrows shot up as I gawked at her. “Uh, I don’t know who pissed in your cereal this morning, but don’t take it out on me.” I lived at home rent free, I had to follow my parents rules still, she knew this.
She had the decency to look embarrassed with her cheeks flaming bright pink and her eyes quickly darting away. “Sorry,” she apologized sheepishly. “It’s been a weird few days—”
“Chloe Ann Marie!”
I rolled my eyes and pushed her toward the door. “I love you. I want to hear about your problems, but you gotta go.”
“I’m going!”
She headed down the stairs and I followed closely behind. I couldn’t see Mama, but I could hear the banging of cupboards in the kitchen along with the telltale off-key singing of Dimitris setting the table. Jaz peeked in through the kitchen archway and waved to Mama.
“Bye Mrs. Jamieson, have a good night.”
Mama glanced back and smiled as she pulled a tray out of the oven. “You too, sweetheart.”
I gave Jaz another push toward the door, she grabbed her booties and pulled them on but her hand lingered on the door. She suddenly grabbed my arm and jerked me toward her.
“Tell her tonight,” she whispered sternly. “Grow the fuck up and tell her that you’re going away for the weekend with me. Got it?”
“I got it!” I huffed and pulled away. “I’ll tell her, stop needling me.”
“I’m gonna call Alex and have him needle you, God knows you’ll listen to a man.”
It felt like my jaw hit the floor. “You are really in foul humor today.”
She shrugged and stepped out onto the porch. “Sorry. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll text you.”
She blew me a kiss and I closed the door behind her. That wasn’t her usual mood, I didn’t know what was up with her but I didn’t appreciate it. I would ask her about it later though, when she’d had some time to decompress.
With a shake of my head, I went to join Mama in the kitchen; she stood at the table with Dima and was just setting down the water pitcher when I took my seat. Dad’s chair at the head of the table was empty again tonight, another late shift. Mama still sat in the chair next to his and I noticed the way she still had his spot set expectantly. I missed him when he worked late, but it had to be worse for her.
Dima reached for a roll and quickly had his hand swatted away. Smirking, I took his other hand and reached across for Mama’s as well to say grace. We didn’t always, usually just for special occasions and birthdays, and with mine now only being days away she was going to insist on this for the next week or so. Well, that and Easter was this weekend, so Mama was going to be extra pious.
It used to be tradition for birthdays and holidays we would go back to Greece and stay with her family. We would attend services at their church so that Mama could say we weren’t disconnected from our culture like so many of the women she spent time with here. I missed going and getting to hang out with my cousin Lena, not to mention getting extended time off school and spending it at the beach, but Mama had stopped taking us regularly once I entered high school. It was funny now looking back considering she’d been insistent on moving to another city so that I could attend a private Orthodox grade school, but once I aged out and had to attend a secular high school, she stopped worrying about bringing me back to Greece.
Dima didn’t have to go to private school, Dad put his foot down and said we weren’t moving again just to move back in another few years. And since neither travelled well our trips to Greece had slowly faded out. I missed the tradition, I missed being in a full house and seeing my cousins, Dad’s side just wasn’t as close. This year I wouldn’t be spending anytime with family for my birthday, it felt weird.
I picked at the white bean soup, thinking about how much I didn’t want to let Mama down but at the same time how badly I wanted this trip with Alex. This would be the first time I’d ever not celebrated Easter with my family, I didn’t even know if Alex celebrated any holidays.
Thankfully Dima filled the silence for us, chattering endlessly about the girl on his soccer team. It was Mama’s dream come true; I was seeing someone and therefore on track to get married while her golden boy was heading toward being a teenage father.
Mama cleared her throat suddenly and took a quick sip of her water. “Have you given anymore thought to this weekend?”
Shit. “What do you mean?”
“Going up to visit grandma and grandpa for Pascha, Dad said he wouldn’t mind taking us all up to Reno.”
“Um…” I shifted in my seat and finally set my fork down. When I finally met her gaze I almost flinched; she was staring at me so intensely that wished I could just disappear. “I was kind of talking with Jazmin about going on a trip actually.”
“Can I come?” Dima piped up.
I gave his arm a gentle poke. “You don’t even know where I’m going.”
He pouted dramatically, sticking his lower lip out and refused to look at me. I didn’t know if he learned that from me or Mama but it must have been a hereditary thing.
“During Pascha?” She didn’t look impressed when I nodded. “Where were two thinking of going?” she pressed.
It’s now or never. “Vancouver.”
“In Washington?”
“Canada,” I corrected. “You know, because I’ll be nineteen.” I was glad to have already set my fork down so that at least she couldn’t see my hand shaking from the nerves.
Back when I turned eighteen, I tried to convince her to let me go to Montreal with Jazmin – that had been a very vocal nofollowed by a lecture about the dangers of going to another country just to drink. She had no problem with my drinking in Greece, but I knew bringing that up wouldn’t win me any points.
I could feel her hesitation radiating in thick waves across the table, even Dima seemed suspiciously quiet. I sat there in silence, hoping my face didn’t show just how uncomfortable I felt. Lying made my stomach hurt, it made me feel guilty and heavy but what else was I supposed to tell her? Hi mom, I’m going to another country with a man twice my age to have sex, and yes he’s paying me, but I promise it’s totally normal and fine! I’d be superglued to the floor and never allowed to leave the house again.
She took another long drink of her water before folding her hands into her lap. “How long were you thinking of going for?”
“Just one week.” I paused to let her absorb that before continuing. “She wants to leave tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Mama repeated incredulously. “And you’re just telling me now?”
“I didn’t know when would be best to ask you, I was actually hoping to wait until Dad was here too.”
Dima’s eyes kept flicking between us, Mama hadn’t said anything else and he seemed to devour his plate while the two of us were locked in a standoff.
“I think that means no,” he whispered to me with a mouthful of bread.
I leaned down on the table and whispered back, “Nobody asked you, mouthpiece.”
“Chloe be nice,” Mama snapped. “Dimitris stop it with the bread, you haven’t even touched your vegetables.”
“I’m full,” he declared, pushing his plate away. “Can I go play my game now?”
“No.” She pushed his plate back toward him. “Now eat.”
He sighed and leaned forward to rest his chin on the table. Mama had been bitching about Dima spending too much time at his friends’ houses and eating “bad” foods, macaroni and cheese was now forever on her shit list because she blamed it for turning him against her. I guess I couldn’t blame her, not a lot of five-year-old’s in our neighborhood would be keen on what we ate, it was important to keep Dima away from that as long as possible so that he would actually eat dinner without whining.
We continued on with dinner and Mama didn’t say anything more about my trip, not even to ask any questions, so I took that to mean we would discuss it later, when little ears weren’t around. I could feel my phone buzzing in my bra, alerting me to a text from Alex no doubt. Probably reminding me about my flight info. I couldn’t help but smile down at my plate as I scooped the last of the asparagus onto my fork, he was such a sweetheart. It made my day to send him a selfie and have him send back heart-eye emojis and endless compliments, especially if it was a nude picture that he would immediately reply to with how much he missed me and couldn’t wait to get his hands on me again.
I squirmed in my seat, anxiously waiting for a moment to check my phone until finally I could get up and help clear the table. Mama shooed Dimitris off while I wrapped up the left overs and slid Dad’s plate into the oven to stay warm. We loaded the dishes into the dishwasher together but I was acutely aware of the awkwardness between us the entire time.
“So?” I asked while drying my hands on the towel. “Are you gonna hate me for going?”
Mama sighed and turned to me with her hand braced on the counter. “I won’t hate you, I just want you to be safe and next time tell me sooner.”
“You’re really going to let me go without a fight?”
She gestured to me. “You’re an adult now, I can’t exactly stop you from leaving. But I do feel the need to remind you that just because you can drink doesn’t mean you should do it excessively.”
The urge to roll my eyes had never been stronger. “I’ll be fine, we’re gonna sightsee too, not just party.”
“Are you going with any boys?”
Fuck. Technically I could say no, because I was going to see a man not a boy, but I knew Mama didn’t care for semantics. “No, it’s just us,” I lied smoothly.
She shrugged and took the tea towel from me to hang on the oven door. “I want you to call me when you land and I want a daily check-in to know that you’re safe. Okay?”
Yes! “Got it.” I threw my arms around her in a bear hug, she let out a quiet yelp before hugging me back. “Thank you, Mama.”
“Don’t thank me, just be safe,” she pleaded. “And remember to call.”
“You already said that.”
“I have to remind you or you won’t do it.” She paused and swept her hand through her hair. Her lips were pursed and she looked tired. I wasn’t sure if that was because of me or just because it was a long day. “Can you promise me you aren’t going to meet up with any strange boys?”
I stuck out my pinky and forced myself to smile at her. “I promise.”
Mama chuckled and batted my hand away only to pull me in for a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. I looped my arms around her waist and laid my head on her shoulder. I didn’t remember ever getting taller than her, but I certainly had to bend at an awkward angle to make the hug work.
“When you get back, I’ll take you to the doctor so that you can go over your birth control options,” she said softly. “I know you wanted to go see Dr. White sooner, but I just wanted you to wait a little while longer.”
“I’m really not going to meet anyone else, I still want a doctors appointment, but it’s not like a rush.” Not a single fucking word of that was true, not even a little, and I thought I was going to puke on her as I forced the words out.
Mama pulled back and gave my cheek another kiss. “Koritsi mou, you’ve never been a good liar, but I love you anyway.”
I opened my mouth to protest when Dima screamed upstairs for her, Mama craned her neck at the sound of his voice and I just sighed. I already knew that I was about to be told to take care of him.
“Can you go check on him, please? He’s probably waiting for one of us to run his bath…”
I groaned and stepped around her. “Who needs birth control when you have a constant reminder next door?” I muttered to myself.
“One day you’ll be thankful to have him here!”
“We’ll see.”
Mama’s laughter followed me up the stairs while I went to track down Dimitris. He called to me from the bathroom, begging me to bring him the bucket of toys from the hall closet. I paused at the landing and told him I would be there in a minute while I pressed my back to the wall and pulled out my phone.
5:30 PM Alex
I just got in and I’m staying at the Hilton Riverside Promenade for the night, what can I do to see you?
I would have ran right back down these stairs and across the city for him. I knew it was only twenty-four-hours until our flight but seeing him sooner? Spending the night with him? My heart fluttered, I closed my eyes and tipped my head back, revelling in the feeling of his attention. It was addicting.
“Chloeee!” Dimitris screamed down the hall. “Please!”
That settled it, I quickly shot a message back to Alex.
6:18 PM Me
Ask and you shall receive. I’ll text you shortly and I’ll bring my luggage.
6:19 PM Alex
I’ll send a car to come pick you up. See you soon. XX.
Mama might not like it but I was getting out tonight, I didn’t care, I needed to see him.