Chloe
“Are you coming to service with us today?”
I glanced up at Mama, she was wrestling to get Dimitris into his nice jacket as he twisted and squirmed in front of her. Dad was probably upstairs trying to find a way out of wearing a tie.
“No, I’m gonna stay home today,” I answered. “I might do some baking while you guys are out though.”
“And look at courses.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that.”
She glared at me over Dima’s blonde curls. “Either you come for church or you look at courses and job openings. We talked about this, Chloe.”
I sighed and turned around fully so that my chin rested on the back of the couch. “I don’t get why I need to worry about a job right now, it’s not like we’re hurting for money.”
“Go find papa,” she urged Dima. She waited until he was at the top of the landing before turning her irritation back toward me with her hands on her hips and fire in her eyes. “We aren’t going to support you for forever Chloe Ann. The best thing you could be doing for yourself right now is setting up your future.”
“This is partially the same speech you gave me when I graduated and wanted me to start looking for a husband,” I teased. “So what is it? Should I be looking for a man or a career?”
“Both,” she snapped. “Getting your education, having a backup plan and being prepared is important, but that’s also a great way to meet someone.”
I turned back around quickly and sunk low into the plush sectional before pulling my phone out. “I already met a guy,” I muttered to myself. “I don’t need to meet one at college.” Or at church, her other favourite place to try and set me up.
“We haven’t met that boy yet, and until I do, he doesn’t exist.” Her heels clicked against the hardwood floor as she made her way over to kiss the top of my head. “Just browse some job openings, we can talk more about the school part later.”
“Okay.” I would come up with something later for her. Maybe I could pass Alex off as being my boss and “break up” with the fake boyfriend she thought I had.
Dimitris wasn’t long in coming back downstairs as loudly as possible and screaming the entire way about dad being in the bathroom. Mama was quick to lead him out to the garage, calling back to me that they would be back after lunch. Dad came down a few minutes later, looking extremely tired and his tie only half tied.
I didn’t usually go to service anymore, mama always asked but she never pushed me to do it, just left a string of tasks to do while they were all out. Today I probably wouldn’t be doing those tasks, I had other shit to do instead of browsing college courses.
I waited for the car to pull out of the driveway and start down the street to call Jaz. She was already waiting for me and promised to come pick me up ASAP. Technically I was going shopping for my job, mama should be thrilled.
After getting changed into jeans and a tank top, I grabbed my purse off the couch and went to wait out front. My phone was tucked into my back-pocket, the ringer was on, and I had to fight every urge in my body to send a good morning text to Alex while I waited. It was nine AM here which meant it was about seven PM in Athens and Alex would be just relaxing after dinner. And maybe also waiting for my text. But if I texted him now, then I would spend all morning on my phone and Jazmin would want to kick my ass.
Alex had come to Sacramento to take me to dinner a few days after the art gallery opening. I was glad that he had brought me to the airport the next day after our mini argument, and even happier when he suggested a casual dinner together later on that week. I told him over dessert that I had thought about it and wanted to go to Barcelona. There wasn’t any rhyme or reason for it, I’d gone on a Europe trip in high school and toured through eight countries in two weeks, Barcelona had been kicked off the list in favour for Amsterdam, now I had the chance to go and I was taking it.
It went unsaid that we would have sex on the trip, like an elephant in the room. We’d come close to it in L.A. but him going down on me and teaching me how to jerk him off was more than enough for one visit. He even seemed reluctant after our dinner to touch me, so I took initiative in the car and showed him that I wasn’t completely clueless about what to do with his cock.
I kind of wanted to brag about that to Jaz.
Standing on the front stoop, I waited for Jazmin’s Lexus, she was quick about it and I felt significantly cooler to be in the front seat with her now that I had officially become a member of her club. The hot bitches that get paid club, I thought with a grin as I pulled the belt across my lap, soon enough I’ll have my own Lexus. Or a Porsche. Either way it had to be a convertible.
Jaz handed me her visa as we pulled away and I put in our drink orders on my phone with it, noting that she seemed to need some extra caffeine.
“Please know that I would never get up this early for anyone else,” she told me when we came to the first stop. “And I mean that, literally no one else.”
I snickered and gave her the card back. “Not even Alex?”
“Fuck no! You think I’m getting up early just so some man can get a piece of ass? I think not.”
“Talking like that is why my mom doesn’t like you being around Dima,” I teased her. “But I am truly flattered that you managed to get your ass out of bed at a reasonable hour for me.”
“Only because I needed the details, you better believe that I need to hear about your first night.”
For a second I froze, thinking that I had slipped up an told her that I was still a virgin. It clicked suddenly that no, she was just referring to the first night Alex and I had spent together because I had sent her a series of emojis and refused to share details over text.
“So, it was…uh…interesting—”
“Okay, I know what he looks like, I know how he fucks, I know you were mindblown, now skip the whole ‘oh shucks, I’m so embarrassed’ and just tell me straight up.”
I threw my hands up. “I don’t know! He was great? I didn’t really expect it because he just woke me up and immediately decided to go down on me, and like, that’s never happened before, so…”
“So?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t really expect to like it as much as I did.” My face felt like it was on fire, I had to fiddle with the radio just to get my mind off of how uncomfortable I was voicing this out loud. “Which, like, yes – I liked it.”
Jazmin was practically cackling when we pulled through the Starbucks drive-through. “Yeah, I don’t blame you for being tongue-tied.”
I groaned and put my sunglasses on, ignoring her giggling and patting my leg. “I’m never telling you anything again.”
“Aw, poor baby.”
I shook my head and took the drink as she handed it to me, quickly thanking the barista. I wanted to gush to Jaz about my date, leaving out the almost meltdown, I wanted to tell her that if I closed my eyes I could still feel his hands sliding up over my hips, his mouth on my breasts, and the excitement of his hard cock pressed against my thigh. I couldn’t quite explain why it made me blush to talk about it out loud, especially when Jaz and I had been buying sex toys together for a while now. We were incredibly open to each other, I loved hearing her ho stories and I wanted to tell her mine. When I had them anyway.
She filled the silence for us on the drive to Arden Fair mall, chattering excitedly about going to meet a new sugar daddy. I was thankful that she didn’t push for any more details right then and took the opportunity to ask her a million questions about her new man and secretly memorizing little travel tips. Booking my own hotel room just in case I needed to get away – I never would have thought of that. It also kind of made me more nervous to be leaving the country.
She kept going long after we got to the mall, not giving one shit about the people that cast her sideways glances. And we got a lot of glances.
I felt like royalty with Jazmin, the way she carried herself and encouraged me to do the same, the way guys grinned at us as they walked by, how people moved out of the way for us, it all made me feel like I had become a member of a secret club.
“People are staring,” I whispered to her just as we came out of Guess.
“They’re staring at your tits since you decided to put them on display.”
I arched my back to push my chest out and scoffed. “I’m sorry they’re just so big and eye-catching.” She shoved me playfully and I giggled, wrapping my arms around her waist. “I think Alex likes them.”
“I bet he does!” she agreed with a laugh. “I’m so glad this is working for you so now I don’t have to put up with you whining about having to get a job.”
“Oh fuck no, I’m never leaving this business ever. Not when I’m being flown around the world all for the low, low price of a hand-job.”
“A hand-job?”
“It’s where you jerk off—”
She clamped a hand over my mouth. “I know what a hand-job is, you dolt. I just can’t believe that’s all you gave him.”
Jaz cast me a side-eye, I shrugged and urged her toward the lingerie store. We greeted the clerk and beelined for the back racks where the new pieces were. I grabbed a sheer robe with a satin hem and held it up appreciatively.
“Was that really all you did? Pussy-whipped his ass with just your hand?”
Ohmigod, Jaz. I turned away from her to try and hide how badly I wanted to laugh with her. “I’m gonna tell him you said that.”
“Clo, I’ll tell him that shit straight to his face, he truly worships the ground women walk on and I need him to know that we see it.”
I threw a pair of sheer boy-shorts at her head. “Well, anyway, that was not all we did, and you’ll be pleased to know I returned the favour.”
“The oral?”
“Yeah.”
“Yum.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I would call you jealous.” I came up behind her while she browsed the corsets and ruffled her ponytail. “Jealous,” I repeated in a sing-song voice.
I mean, now that I knew what Alex was like, I would have been jealous too.
“Sort of, not really.” Jaz shrugged and turned around. She leaned back on the shelf and toyed with the dangly rhinestones on the bra, her mouth pulled into a thoughtful frown. “I like Alex, he’s a great man, so I miss him, but at the same time it’s not missing him like I miss an ex-boyfriend, but more like missing a friend.”
Aw. I didn’t blame her for missing him, I would too in her position. “Can I make you even more jealous?” I offered with a cocked eyebrow.
“You can try.”
I struck a pose, sweeping my hair back and clutching my hand over my heart. “He’s taking me to Spain!”
I wasn’t prepared to her to scream. Or for her to throw her arms around me in a crushing hug that knocked the wind out of me. “My baby is all grown up! Going on European vacations and acting like ho in limos.”
Laughter bubbled up between us, confusing the sales associate that came running when Jazmin screamed. We apologized for worrying her and quickly gathered up our stuff to get out of there before we pissed the clerks off.
We got our nails touched up and every time I reached for some money out of my purse, my fingers tingled, reminding me of the way the envelope had felt in my hand when Alex gave it to me. The sinking feeling I had watching Jaz do this for me was gone, I wasn’t scared about it anymore. By the time I was handing the cashier money for a smoothie I felt like I was grinning ear to ear and practically waving the cash around like a fan.
“Alright, take it easy,” Jaz cautioned. “Two thousand goes quicker than you think.”
“But I like spending money,” I retorted with a pout. “Besides I need stuff for this trip.”
“Like a smoothie?”
I started listing things, ticking them off on my fingers. “Like lingerie, a dress, new heels, I was pricing out extensions—”
“Whoa, slow down a bit,” she warned. “Look, I know it’s fun and games, but seriously, you need to learn to budget, otherwise you’re going to end up broke and that’s just not a good look.”
“I’m fine though, it’s like I have real bills or shit.”
“You will though. Come on Clo, you don’t want to live at home forever.”
I waved her concerns off. “I don’t even want to get into that right now. I want to get hype for this vacation and spending almost an entire week with Alex.”
She sighed. “Okay, but Spain?”
“What’s wrong with Spain? You liked Europe when you went, and I’ve already been to France.”
“Nothing’s wrong with it, but like, I thought you would choose something a little more exciting than a major tourist city.”
I shrugged and took a long sip of my smoothie. “Okay, yeah, but I’m still excited to go and Alex seemed to be too. Barcelona just seems like a gorgeous place to go for our first trip.”
“Ooh, your first trip together!” she cooed. “How romantic!”
“He’ll bring the candles, I’ll bring coolers, and we’ll rent some on demand porn. How much more romantic could it be?” I tossed my hair back with a wink and Jaz laughed.
“Oh please, you’re bringing the romantic poetry and he’s bringing the fine wine, then later you’ll make your own porn.”
“I haven’t even shown him any poetry yet! I’m playing it cool and not trying to freak him out.” I didn’t want him to be put off by me showing off my encyclopedic knowledge of romantic era poetry.
“Aw, look at you trying to act all cavalier and not head-over-heels for man twice your age.”
An older woman walking by with a Macy’s bag cut me a sideways look as we passed by her, I waited until she had turned back around to elbow Jazmin in the side. She giggled and looped her arm through mine, pulling me tight to her side as we trailed back towards the food court.
“I hate that you’re so comfortable saying that shit out loud,” I complained. “You’re gonna slip up in front of my mom.”
“You’ll loosen up over time and just have fun with it. But I promise not to tell your parents, you should know me better than that by now.”
I really should have; Jaz could be loud and obnoxious and together we were the two most annoying people in the world, but she was always careful around mama because she didn’t want me to get in trouble.
I hadn’t exactly figured out how I would tell Mama that I was running off for a few days to another country, and I was doing so the same weekend of my birthday. She was going to have a meltdown. Not me though, I was going to be relaxing in a luxury hotel.
“So, be serious for a moment, I kind of need your advice.” I pointed to a bench and Jaz nodded, weaving us through the crowd to the seat. I squished in beside her, sandwiched on either side of us by our shopping bags. I waited for the crowds to thin a bit before continuing, “Going away for this long kind of requires a story, so I was hoping you would have an idea for me. But I also wanted to know what you thought about me telling her that I got a job and not really giving her the full story.”
“Um, hm.” She crossed her legs and pursed her lips. “I think maybe if you tell her that I want to take you away for your birthday, that might be the best idea. Telling her about the job though, do you have any idea what you want to tell her?”
A birthday party, that might work. “I don’t know, I was looking at some office jobs, but there was one I saw for a second assistant that I thought would work really well for last minute meetings.”
“Oh, that’s not a bad idea. I wouldn’t lock yourself into anything, try and make it a job you can do from home if you can.”
“A phone sex operator?”
“Yes. Please tell your mom that while I’m there so that I can take a picture when she decides to strangle you.”
“I’ll tell her it was your idea.”
“You won’t need to, she’ll know it already.”
I took her hand in mine while I laughed. The two of us sat there watching people go by, the lights catching the diamonds on my bracelet every so often and reminding me of how badly I wanted to be on that flight right now back into his arms and away from the real world.
This was more complicated than I thought it would be, and I didn’t have everything figured out, but I wanted this.
Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained; and the restrainer or reason usurps its place and governs the unwilling. And being restrain'd it by degrees becomes passive till it is only the shadow of desire.
I would not restrain myself, I wanted Alex to see that I wanted him, that I was ready for it now.