Lucas' P.O.V.
Cooking with Rose was lots of fun, but the clean up was even better. I seemed to be unable to contain myself around her as I leaned her over the counter after we cleaned up and slammed into her again. She didn't seem to mind through her moans of pleasure, allowing me to cum inside her this time. When she turned to face me she looked so in love that my heart almost stopped.
Her beautiful icy blue eyes captivated me like no other. It's hard to describe the warm joy that she makes me feel by just looking at her. I love this woman too much for my own good. She could destroy me if she wanted to, but I know she won't. She's my Rose and I had finally climbed past her thorns and to the center of her soft petals.
"I love you, Olive, so very much." I wanted her to hear the sincerity in my voice as I said. Notice the seriousness and the joy in which I told her. I only ever used her real name when I wanted her to know how serious I was being. She looked up at me past those long lashes, hearing my words clearly.
"I love you too, Lucas, with all my heart."
Our joyous moment only continued as we ate our homemade pasta and watched Lady And The Tramp. The pasta was good, only made better by the fact we cooked it together. Anything I do is only made better when down with Rose. I hate that I will not be by her side during Thanksgiving break. I know that when I see her again I won't be letting her out of bed, or out of my arms for a moment. After dinner, Rose worked on her homework and I read her journals again. I was curious to see what happened after Ian moved. I was near the end of sophomore year now. He was due to move at the end of that May.
Dear future me,
Ian has been sweet since telling me the horrible news. He doesn't want to go either and we both wished there was a way for him to stay. We've been hanging out more everyday. Any chance we get we sneak out together and talk. This time it was done on the roof of his house. We stared at the stars and spoke about our future aspirations.
Ian gave me the brilliant idea of becoming a rocket scientist. I want to build something that can fly into space. I want to know that my creation is out there floating around with the stars. I wasn't sure I could do it, but Ian believes me. So, I'll believe in myself too.
What am I going to do when he's gone? Who's going to keep the darkness of my world from getting too overwhelming? So much for another nice Thanksgiving or warm Christmas. So much for having a friend in high school, for not being one against the many.
He's leaving soon and it's tearing me up inside. Please tell me he comes back for us. Please tell me he doesn't forget about us.
A sorrowful,
Past you.
My heart hurt reading this. She was breaking when she wrote this. I could feel her raw emotions like it was happening to me. She was losing her best friend, and secret first love, and it was killing her. I peered from the journal to see Rose with her pencil against her lips and her eyes fixed on her book. She was thinking and working through her problems. Ian was the one that set her down this course. He's the one that helped her see her worth first. I guess I should be grateful to him for that, but I'll beat his ass if he hurt her in the end.
Dear future me,
Sorry I haven't written to you in a while. Ian's move date had been rescheduled to earlier than originally planned. He moved away yesterday and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye the way I would have liked. We thought we had more time, but it was taken from us quickly.
I couldn't see him off at the airport. I have no car so instead I saw him off at school. They picked him up early and he knocked on my classroom door, asking to speak with me. We said our tearful goodbyes in the hallway, knowing full well that they would all make fun of me for it once he was gone. He held me for a while in his arms, and for a moment I thought of telling him how I truly felt, and begging him to stay. But, we're both minors and he has to go with his parents.
"I promise I'll write to you, Red." Those were his last words to me before he left. He used the horrible nickname he had come up with when we first met. So unoriginal yet exactly what I wanted to hear. The image of his back leaving the double doors of the school with the sun shining so bright, will forever be engraved in my mind, I am sure.
There goes my happiness.
Sure enough when I reentered the class I was made fun of. Told that I was so obsessed with Ian that the only way he could get away from me was by moving to a whole other country. It didn't help the already creeping sadness in me.
A now very depressed,
Past you.
My heart ached for this Rose. I wished I could travel back in time and save her even then. She didn't deserve any of it. She should have been a popular choice with a million kind friends. Instead she was tormented and bullied and had her only friend taken away.
I looked back at her, seeing her write out her answer with a triumphant smile. I sat there watching her and just admiring her for the wonderful woman she is. She is absolutely amazing and she is mine. I'll find a way to get these assholes to see her for the badass woman she is. They'll wish they would have been her friend.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you." She looked up at me quickly. "Wait, were you just watching me?" She got distracted, making me laugh.
"Yes, I was. You're my favorite movie after all." I winked at her, making her blush.
"Shut up, I am not." She fought back the smirk that threatened to play at her face. "Davis texted me earlier. I have a fight tomorrow night, then another one first week of December before the championship. Championship it right after Christmas though, so no trips around then. I need you present when I win." She gave me a happy smirk with a wink.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Rose."
With that she went back to work and I went back to reading her journal, gotta finish sophomore year. Despite how sad it makes me to read. I need to know all about her.
Dear future me,
How long does it take mail to get back? I wrote to Ian the day after he left, hoping maybe he'd get my letter that first week he's there. I have been checking the mail every day since then, hoping I'll have his reply. I am not sure how long it takes though, so maybe he hasn't even gotten my letter. Perhaps he got it and is just now replying. There's no way to tell. I don't know what I'm going to do while I wait for him to respond. I think I'll drive myself mad at this rate.
On another note, school still sucks. Kids are still cruel, and boys are still pigs. So school is all around hell now. Home isn't much better, not that it ever has been. Dad's gearing up for some big fight and he's been using me to train. Not that I pose him much of a challenge. I've got bruises all over my torso, he was pretty pissy when I got a punch in on him yesterday. It's like he kicked it up a notch after that. It kind of hurts to breathe, so sharp small breaths is the sweet spot right now.
Summer is soon approaching and with Ian gone I have no idea what I'm going to do to keep myself entertained. Really to keep myself out of the house. This place is suffocating and with dad being his normal asshole self I need an escape. He's been more sober here lately, but he always goes back to heavy drinking in the summer when he knows he doesn't have to worry about taking me to school or picking me up.
Ian did leave me his bike though, so I at least have that to get me places this summer. I am excited to use it. Maybe I'll find a summer job. I should start looking. Wish me luck!
Past you.
I hate her dad. I hate her dad so much!