Lucas' P.O.V.
Christmas was more than I could have asked for. She had said yes, and despite Dad's threats, I've been on cloud nine ever since. I need to get back to work before Dad discovers I'm trying to marry Rose. I get the feeling he'd try to stop it by any and all means necessary. He doesn't need to know until it's done and over with. I won't put Rose, or my bud, through any unnecessary stress.
"Good morning, my future wife." I kissed her forehead as I woke her. She says she's not a sleepyhead, but she most definitely is. "Today's the day."
Sleep evaded me last night, even with Rose in my arms. I was too excited for today. It's our first doctor's appointment for our bud. We'll get to see our growing baby on an ultrasound today, and be sure of Rose's due date. I've been giddy all night.
"Today's the day." She smiled as her eyes opened.
That had been the fastest she'd ever woken up, aside from the time she had to bolt to the bathroom to throw up. She is excited too. I can only imagine how she must feel, as she's the one carrying our child.
"Let's get ready," I said, making us both jump out of bed.
We got dressed and ate a quick breakfast. I made Rose a fruit salad this morning since she had been craving fruits more here lately. She says they don't make her as nauseous as most breakfast foods.
I had to keep myself from speeding my way to the doctor's office, which was pretty hard to do. I was ready to see my bud, and growing inpatient with every minute. It didn't help that we had to wait an hour after we checked in for them to call Rose's name. We followed them to a back room where she was instructed to lift her shirt. A few seconds later she was squirted with warm gel The ultrasound wand found her stomach as the technician began to move it around.
**Song Suggestion: Light by Sleeping At Last**
I watched the tv waiting for the image of my bud. Within moments my little bud came into view. Our baby looked like a little kidney bean, curved with two rounded ends. I tried to engrave the image in my brain as I watched the little bean jump around as if it knew we were watching. I felt my eyes start to mist as I continued to watch. I grabbed Rose's hand, kissing it tenderly, thanking her for this gift she's blessing me with. When I turned to look at her I found tears streaking her face. She was overwhelmed by the sight of our child, just as I was.
We listened to our baby's strong thundering heartbeat with joy. I made sure to record the sound on my phone so that I never forget it. The technician printed a couple of pictures for us and confirmed the due date was July 27th. A sweet summer baby. I squeezed Rose's hand, kissing it again as we stared at the pictures.
"You can use this towel to clean off, and I'll take you to your room to see the doctor," the technician said, handing Rose a small towel to wipe herself off with.
We waited another 30 minutes in the room for the the doctor. I hate how long it takes to see the doctor. I'll go with Rose to every visit if just to keep her company. These things could be boring by yourself, I am sure.
"Can you believe it?" Rose broke our comfortable silence first. "We created this."
She had been staring at the ultrasound pictures, memorized by our growing fetus. Her eyes glimmered with love, which only made me fall deeper in love with her. I think seeing her become a mother will only strengthen my love for her. She's perfect and she's mine.
"I am one lucky man." I smiled at her, placing my hand over her stomach. I can't wait to feel our baby kick.
"I am one lucky woman," she countered.
I smiled at her, leaning in to kiss her temple. Her sweet vanilla scented shampoo wafted into my nose. I loved everything about her, down to her toes.
"Hello, Olive. I am Dr. Fitz. It's so nice to meet you." The doctor smiled at Herz extending her hand for a small shake. "Is this your first pregnancy?"
"It is," Rose answered.
The doctor went on to describe what would be happening to Rose's body throughout her pregnancy. We discussed how her BRACA gene would affect it. Rose will need to keep her screening appointments and if they ever found anything we would talk about it then. It scared me to think about, and I pray it never happens. I can't lose my Rose, not ever.
"I know I'm dumping a lot of information on you, but I like to keep you informed. Think about everything we've spoken about, and decide what you would like to do birthing wise. Any questions?"
We both shook our heads no, and that was the end of the visit. We stopped by the front counter to set her next appointment up and then raced home. I knew she could use a nap. She stayed up late with Ian's letters last night. When I returned home her eyes were puffy and pink from all the crying she'd done. It broke my heart to see her that way.
It may be wrong of me to say, but if there's one thing I'm grateful for it's that her dad kept those letters. I get the feeling I would have never had a chance with her if she and Ian had stayed in touch. They'd probably be the ones getting married now. Still, the hurt it caused her was too much. It was definitely something she should have never gone through.
"Sleep my Rose." I rubbed her back lightly as she laid beside me. I sat up, resting my back on the head board. I had finished her junior year and was almost through her senior year. I learned that Francesca had gone to her school and tormented her as well. I was happy to hear that she wasn't accepted into the in crowd at that school. They had expelled her and that's what made her wind up in school with Leo. She and Leo were in the same grade, but she didn't start her torment on us until their senior year. I was glad that Franny couldn't continue to hurt my Rose, even if it put her in my path.
Dear future me,
We fucking did it! We survived 4 years of utter hell and came out on top. Valedictorian, baby!! Woo! Eat my shit Jessica! Do you think they can keep me from graduating if I just flip everyone off for my speech, just a full minute of telling everyone fuck you.
I won't ruin graduation like that though. I'll give them what they want and get what I need from them. Can't burn these important bridges, especially if I'm trying to work for NASA. I don't think they'd like reading that article. 'Valadictorian flips off whole graduation class for a full minute.' That will not get me hired.
I can't wait to be away from here. I can't wait to go to Columbia and dorm with new people. They can't be as bad as the kids here, at least I hope not. I got a full ride wjth dorm paid, letting me use the money I saved from working with Joe to get my first phone, laptop and small furniturings for my dorm. I am excited to finally have these things.
Dad still doesn't know that I'm planning to live on campus. I don't plan on telling him until I'm pulling out of the driveway. Joe said he'd drive me there, since he has business in New York city. A little out of the way, but close enough he'd take me anyway.
This is it. I will be free of him, of these kids, of this prison and this hurt. I can't wait to start my life anew.
A very boisterous past you.
The entry made me smile, picturing how happy Rose felt at the time. She'd accomplished what she set out to do, reaching her goal despite the hell she'd endure every day. She's so damn strong, strongest person I know.
Dear future me,
We escaped dad! We did it! I've never felt so free in my life. The feeling is new, coursing a sort of giddy feeling through me. My mind is racing with a million possibilities and my body wants to do them all. I want to see everything, experience everything. All of it.
I want to conquer this world and make it my bitch. I am going to graduate top of my class in Columbia. I am going to achieve my dream and rub it in everyone's faces. In the faces of those that doubted me or belittled me for no reason.
I am smart, determined, and caring. The world won't change that. It won't take that from me. This is my time, my time to explore, to learn, and to grow more than just academically.
Time to unpack and start a new journal as my freshman year of college begins.
I closed her senior year, feeling so close to my Rose. I know all about her high school years. The knowledge of her torments, depression, bullying and small happy moments will forever reside in me. Everything that's happened to her has shaped her into this fierce firey woman before me. She didn't let it defeat her. She climbed to the top with a set goal, and she took what she deserved. She's a champion already.
Keep fighting my Rose.