Hailey's POV
We raced down the elevator and down to the car, feeling giddy the entire time. Ian and I had discussed so much these past five weeks. We looked up our approximate due date according to my cycle. Then we went on to discuss names for both genders, which we never came to any conclusions about. The only thing we discovered is that our tastes in names are vastly different. After, we spoke about moving to a house and then went on to discuss how we would go about this with our careers. That was something we had to table for later, as we got nowhere when we first spoke about it.
We were somehow able to bite our tongues and not break the news to anyone else aside from Liv and Lucas. I wanted to make one of those adorable baby announcements I have seen so many others create, but we needed that first ultrasound picture to do so. Today we get it, and soon everyone will know. My dad is going to freak, especially since Ian and I aren't married yet. This will be the first grandchild for the Medina family. It's crazy to think about it.
We checked in, taking a seat in the waiting room. The wait felt insanely long, especially with how antsy with excitement we both were. Ian bounced his leg a mile a minute until finally my name was called.
"Hailey Medina."
"That's me!" I jumped up, following the technician back to the ultrasound room. After confirming my name, date of birth, and my last cycle date, she had me lay back, unbutton my pants, and lift my shirt. I was worried the gel she placed on me would be cold but it was oddly very warm.
"Ooh, that actually feels nice," I commented, breaking the silence in the room.
"We like to keep our pregnant mommies comfy." The technician smiled as she placed the ultrasound wand over my stomach.
I watched the large TV monitor before me, trying hard to spot the small bean that was my child. She moved the wand around, revealing what looked almost like TV static. She focused in and all I could see was a bunch of little balls. I was beyond confused, having never really gotten an ultrasound before. Is that what it should look like?
"Are you sure of your dates?" she asked me, furrowing her brow at the monitor before her as she pressed buttons.
"Yes, I am sure."
"Okay, new plan. I'm going to get you a sheet and I would like for you to step into the bathroom there," she motioned at the door in the corner of the room, "and take your pants and underwear off. When you are done, wrap the sheet around your waist and come back out. We are going to use the transvaginal ultrasound and see if we can't find that little nugget."
I nodded, taking the dark green sheet from her. My heart pounded, feeling this was abnormal for a first-time ultrasound. I could tell something was wrong, but I had no clue what. A million thoughts raced through my mind as I undressed in the bathroom. If I had a miscarriage, I would have bled. I would have known. Could this be an ectopic pregnancy? Is she doing this because she thinks my baby isn't growing where it should be? Fear took hold of me as I stepped back out, feeling ready to break.
"Go ahead and place your legs up on the stirrups for me, knees spread apart." I did as she asked, feeling extremely exposed, even with a sheet covering me. "This is going to feel uncomfortable. You should only feel pressure, please let me know if you feel any pain throughout." I nodded, feeling her insert the wand. It was odd and made me feel slightly violated, but I watched the monitor like my life depended on it. I was focusing on trying to find that baby. Another technician came into the room and tried as well. With each passing minute, my worries grew substantially.
"Go ahead and get dressed, and I'll take you to your doctor from here," she told me, pulling the wand out. Something was definitely wrong. They didn't find a baby, but I was obviously pregnant. I mean, I took the test. It said I was.
I got dressed, stepping out to find Ian with my things already in hand. He took my hand, rubbing at the back of my palm as we followed the technician through a maze of halls, leading us to room number 4 in the back corner.
"Your doctor will be with you shortly," she said, closing the door behind her, leaving me confused and more scared than I've ever felt in my life.
I knew I didn't have a miscarriage, and if it were an ectopic pregnancy, they would have found the fetus. So what the hell is going on? Ian sat quietly, seeming just as perplexed as me.
"Could it be a miscarriage?" he asked me, trying to make sense of this as well.
"I haven't bled, so no, I don't think so. It can't be an ectopic pregnancy because they would have found something."
Ian nodded, pulling his phone out at the same time I did. I took a seat on the exam chair, beginning my own Google search. Only nothing seemed to pop up. I wasn't even really sure what to google. My heart was racing and my gut was churning. Thirty minutes later, we waited, lost in our thoughts and worries, before the doctor showed up.
"I am so sorry, guys. I was never told that you were in here," she explained, stepping in with a frown.
Her golden blonde hair cascaded around her as she turned to close the door behind her. She was tall- almost Ian height- making me feel so much smaller in this chair. Grabbing the stool, she took a seat before me, her deep blue eyes catching mine. The sympathetic expression she wore on her slender face told me the news was not good. Ian scooted closer, seeming to get the same vibe. He held my hand as we stared at the doctor, waiting for her to explain.
"I am so sorry to tell you guys this, but you have what is called a complete molar pregnancy."
"A what?" Ian asked, furrowing his brow as his hand gripped mine more tightly.
"A molar complete molar pregnancy is rare. It is when the egg from the mother is blank. It has no chromosomes, causing the sperm to double its own. Essentially, you are growing a mass in your uterus right now. You need to be scheduled for a D and C as soon as possible, so we can remove it."
"I don't understand." I shook my head, my heart feeling ready to explode inside of me. I knew what she was saying- there's no baby- but my mind couldn't seem to process it.
"There are two forms of molar pregnancy, partial and complete. With a partial molar, there is fetus tissue and a heartbeat, but the fetus has too many chromosomes to live. With a complete molar, you have the right set of chromosomes but no genetic coding from the mother and end up growing a large mass of tissue and blood. That's what gives the grape-like appearance on the ultrasound. The mass can grow rather quickly and invade the uterine lining, which could lead to cancer."
At this point, tears were slipping from my eyes as I tried hard to push the heartache down and understand what she was saying.
"I'm sorry." I apologized, feeling stupid for even crying. There was never a baby in me to begin with. What did I really lose- the idea of a baby?
"No, don't be sorry. You have every right to cry." She handed me the tissues. "With a complete molar pregnancy, you have the chance of it turning into cancer, but it has a survival rate of 98%. After the D and C, we will send the mass to pathology to confirm. You will then need to come a week later so we can test your HCG levels. You will come every week to draw blood and test your levels. If they go down, don't plateau or rise for three weeks; you will start to come every month. Once your HCG reaches zero, you will come for 3 more months to make sure that it stays at zero. It is imperative that you not get pregnant throughout this time. Once you are in the clear, you are welcome to try again." I nodded my head, feeling the world spin before me. Everything sounded so distorted and broken. "I have Monday and Thursday open this week to schedule you for your D and C. The sooner we do it, the better."
"Monday is fine then," I managed to answer, squeezing Ian's hand so tightly that it was turning white.
"Promise me something." She paused, waiting for me to meet her eyes. "Do not go home and google this."
I nodded, but it was a lie. That is exactly what I will do.