Isabella’s P.O.V.I am woken up by the sound of a door closing, but who that might be? I slowly get up and everything comes crashing down. The prisoner, his punishment, the blades, leeches, the fire, Mason, the girl and his flirting; with these thoughts comes the sinking feeling of not being enough for him. I knew it was too good to be true. Why will a guy as handsome as Mason settle with someone as average as me?
I’m such a fool.
I make my way downstairs and the first thing that my eyes notice is a plate stacked with French fries in it. And the exact time, my stomach growls as if realizing that food was there in out vicinity. I turn towards the fries which are placed on the kitchen counter top. As soon as I enter it, I see two people standing in there with their backs towards me. I don’t need to see their faces to know who they are. I slowly plop myself down on the bar stool that is positioned beside the counter and pick up a few fries, stuffing them in my mouth.
As if sensing my presence, two pairs of eyes turn towards me, one with an analyzing expression and other with a small smile. I smile at them, which comes out forced and it does not go unnoticed by both of them. Ryan comes forward and slides a bowl of ketchup towards me and moves towards the fridge to get something out. Rose comes near me and engulfs me in a warm hug and mumbles, “How is my best friend doing?”
I pat on her arm a few times and reply, “I’m doing just fine. Just needed some sleep I guess.”
Ryan turns from the fridge with a large tub of chocolate brownie flavored ice cream, grabbing a few spoons on the way towards us. He places the container on the counter top and says, “Here We got you Ice cream.”
“LIAR” is Rose’s offended reply.
I turn towards her to see what is she talking about, when she says, “I brought you Ice cream. He is just stealing my credit, such an Asshole.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her clarification. They are always fighting with each other over me. I don’t realize when my laugh turns into whimpers and those whimpers turn into full fledged sobs with tears staining my face. At my sudden mood change, Rose wraps her arms around my waist and cradles me, whereas Ryan comes rushing towards me, engulfing me in a hug; my head touching his stomach, all the while me stuffing my mouth with Ice cream.
A girl got to eat.
Rose slowly whisper-asks, “What happened Bella? Tell us?”
On hearing the word us, it’s like someone throwing a bucket of cold water on me. I slowly push them away from me; wiping my face with my hands I grab the tub and make a dash towards the movie room, where I was sleeping a little while ago. I hear footsteps behind me and quicken my pace. On entering the room, I swiftly push the door about to lock it when I’m pushed back from the light jerk of the door and Ryan steps inside, followed by Rose.
Rose shouts, “Leave her alone Ryan” but the look that Ryan has on his face says that he doesn’t have any such plans. He walks towards me, predatory steps and I fall back slowly like a meekly prey. I am anything but a meek prey, but today it’s the guilt that is fucking it up for me. I can’t look at him without feeling like a monster and the thought of him being away from the monster, from me sounds so good right now. Seeing me shift backwards breaks Ryan, his expression turns from tensed to panic to broken. When he says, “Please princess, don’t push me away. Tell me what is bothering you?” it hurts like hell.
I can’t control the ugly sobs that leave my mouth when I see my brother’s defeated face and launch myself in his arms. He engulfs me in his arms as the only words that leave my mouth in between my cries are, “I’m… sorry… I’m… so sorry… I’m… sorry for… being… the monster… in every… one’s… life… I’m…”
I’m cut short of my words, when Ryan pushes me away from his arms to look at me. His actions devastate me as thoughts of him throwing me out of his life, flash through my brain. I see as an unidentified expression crosses his eyes, he slowly raises his hand and I pull back; scared about the worst thing happening like him hitting me. But my scared expression turns him sad, he slowly takes a step towards me and places both his hands on my face, pulling it near him and placing a gentle kiss on my head.
What just happened?
He moves away and tilts my head a little to look at my face, when he sees my look of surprise, he chuckles and says, “You are not a monster, Bella. You are my sister and no matter what you or others think about you, always remember that I can never, will never take you as anything less than a princess. You were, are and will always be my sister, my warrior princess. What we have is FOREVER. No judgments ever.”
I can’t help but squeeze the life out of him, and that’s when Rose wraps her arms around us and whispers, “No one thinks of you as a monster Bella. Everyone knows that and whatever you do behind those closed walls of the prisoner’s cell does not define who you really are. Don’t beat yourself for carrying out your duties with determination.”
I can’t help but question, “But I kill people, every time I go in there and that’s not even the sick part.”
Both of them loosen their grip and pull me towards the bed. As soon as I get settled on it, both of them crawl up beside me, each of them on either side. I continue, “I enjoy it. I kill them painfully, brutally and when they cry or shout in pain, it feeds my soul.”
“It’s not your mistake. It’s how you are supposed to be. You are a special wolf, Bella. The one who is supposed to defeat the evil and when you see evil, you give them a taste of their own shit. That’s not wrong and it doesn’t make you a monster” says Ryan.
Rose looks at both of us and a sly smile forms on her face as she says, “If you ask me, I think its super cool. I would love to beat the shit out of those assholes. But being the Luna I’m not allowed to do that” ending it with a whine.
I look at her; to see if she is just saying this to make me feel good, but realize that she is damn serious about it. Ryan has an amused smile at her comment and replies, “Yes you crazy woman. Being a Luna is a big ass responsibility and that makes you the mother of our pack. Your safety and sanity matters, hence you aren’t allowed to do shit like us.”
She tries to look offended and utters, “Don’t forget you’re talking to your Luna, you asshole.”
“Yeah. Yeah. I know” is my brother’s lame reply.
These two can be a handful when they want to.
“And to say that even Matt doesn’t tell you to do otherwise, that means whatever you are doing is correct Bella. Don’t beat yourself for it” Rose tells me.
“Wait a minute. What am I missing here?” asks Ryan.
I gulp knowing that Rose will tell him about everything and no requests from me are going to change her plans about it. She turns towards him and says, “She thinks you guys are disgusted by her after these interrogations.”
“WHAT?” shouts Ryan looking at me with shock evident on his face.
“I… I…” I am cut short with Ryan pulling me in a tight hug as he says, “Never ever think like this Bella. None of us is disgusted by you. If anything we are scared for you.”
“Scared FOR me?” I ask emphasizing on the word ‘for’ to confirm his words.
“Yes. We have always been scared FOR you princess” he says looking at me with soft eyes, pauses for a second taking a deep breath and continues, “The first time when you interrogated that rogue, you blocked us out after it and this is the only reason why I don’t like you interrogating our prisoners. You avoid us like plague and that bothers us all, especially me. You don’t eat, don’t sleep, don’t smile, we kind of lose you for a few days after every interrogation and it tends to take a toll on all of us.”
I was left voiceless after his confession. “You aren’t disgusted by me?” I didn’t even realize when I voiced my doubt loudly and was brought back by his quick reply, “No. None of us is.”
My nerves calm down on themselves and I release a loud audible breath. Rose comes towards me and says in a soft voice, as if she is talking to a baby, “You are special Bella. Flaunt it. We don’t think that you are a Monster, No one does. But even after telling you this, you still feel that you are a monster” she pauses, holds my arms with her hands, releases a breath and continues, “Then I’ll suggest you to own it. Be the best kind of whatever you can be.”
Ryan nods and says, “Yeah. You were born like this for a reason Bella. The Moon Goddess blessed you with a heart of gold to be a mother, a sister, a friend to your people and filled it with lava, so you could burn the evil out of our world, for us and for you to be safe. OWN IT princess. Never think you are anything less than a Blessing in our lives.”
His words bring the water works back, but this time they aren’t because of dread or guilt, they are of relief washing over my outrageous thoughts. Once we our back to normal, all of us starts stuffing our faces with French fries, forgetting about what a sentimental moment we shared a few minutes ago.
I am stuffing my face with the ice cream when I hear Rose clear her throat, “Uhmm Uhmm…” I turn my attention from the ice cream tub towards her and notice that she has a questioning look on her face, so I ask, “What?”
She bits her lips, as if contemplating with herself whether to ask or not. I look at her and say, “Come on ask away. I know you won’t be able to live with yourself without asking it.”
“No. It’s nothing like that” she says, not looking me in the eye.
“Really?” I ask.
“Yeah” she retorts.
“Okay fine” I say, playing along; knowing very well that it’s a matter of few seconds within which she will end up asking me that.
“Fine. Iwantedtoaskyouwhathappenedbetweenyouandmason?”she blabbers. Her speech is so fast that I am not able to catch a single word of it.
“Sorry. Could you try saying that again and this time try speaking it SLOWLY” I say emphasizing on the word Slowly.
I hear Ryan chuckle and shake his head at my comment and her embarrassment, I mean you can’t really blame him, it’s really funny.
Rose moves a little in her seat and ask again, “I wanted to ask you, what happened between you and mason? There. I asked it.”
I look at her, with tears brimming up my eyes and blurring my vision. She places her hand on my shoulder in order to calm me down but it’s not helping this time because now I need my Mason.
I need MY Mason? What the actual fuck? That douche bag is the reason I’m feeling this shit.
Before I can even say anything, Ryan says, “He is an asshole. I’m going to kill him when I see him.”
I am astounded at his words and ask, “Why would you say that? What do you know Ry?”
“Oh I know a lot” is his reply, rolling his eyes at his own statement which makes me feel that this is going to be a very long day.
May Goddess save Mason.