Isabella’s P.O.V.You know that horrible feeling you get when people judge you for your doings. That’s exactly what I’m feeling right now. It’s nothing new for me though. I tend to do some horrible shit in those cells without even being a little bit remorseful about it and then once the deed is done, the same shit comes back to bite me in the ass. I am not the kind of person who cares what people think about me because most of them just judge me based on what they hear and it does not bother me even for a second.
The thing that bothers me is the judgment lingering in the eyes of those who really matter to me. The ones that are like my family, the ones that see me doing atrocious things to my prisoners. Their judgmental peek haunts me like a wraith that creeps up on me from under my bed in the middle of the night. It’s like the monster that we all used to be scared of when we were kids. It makes me feel awful, whenever I see them.
The boys are always curious as to why I’m okay with talking to everyone else in as much normal way as possible and not even care to look at them. I know this because Rose asked me herself. She was concerned whether the guys said something or did something in front of me and came to check why I was looking somnolent after my very first interrogation.
I didn’t say much and then she went all out to kick the guys’ asses including her mate’s too. That’s when they threw the bomb at her by informing her that I was the one who interrogated and none of them could even stand in the same room as me because of my brutal ways. Rose knew that my doings were the ones which had traumatized me and she made the boys understand the value of giving me space for time being.
It’s not like I shut down or close myself up after these things, I just don’t talk much in front of the guys. Even they don’t come near me, let alone talk to me. They roam around with their hearts up their necks, scared that I might just blow up and kill them in an instant. I see them looking at me when they think I’m not noticing, sneaking glances my way. That is way more disturbing than people can imagine about, hence I avoid them for a few days.
I don’t sit at lunches, travel back and forth to college alone, I don’t wait up for anyone, I don’t even go to pick up and drop my brothers’ to the pack house myself. I avoid all three of them like some plague and once a few days pass, I get busy in pack work and then ignore their stares and mind my own business, slowly everything goes back to how it used to be and Voila! We all are back to normal.
But this process takes around five to eight days, which is a lot of time to be alone, if you ask me. Rose has a habit of visiting me every day during such times and I’m thankful to her for the same. But still facing others is a total pain, I know they don’t think like this but somewhere their stairs makes me feel like a monster.
Isn’t that what I am, a MONSTER?
With this thought in my mind, I enter my house with a heavy heart. I carry my dirty self up to my room for a hot shower to clean up all the residue of the gruesome act staining my body. It takes me around 20 minutes to shower and it’s almost 6 in the morning now. The girls will be up any minute and they are literally the last person who should see me in my self-loathing condition. So I grab a pair of blue skinny jeans, maroon sweatshirt and start getting ready. Once I’m done with it, I pick my Maroon Sneakers and make my way downstairs.
Settling the shoes near the couch, I walk towards the kitchen to get the breakfast ready. I make some scrambles eggs, some toasted bread and coffee for my sisters. Once done with their work, I start working on my brothers’ oatmeal breakfast and milk. I am done with all the chores at about 6.20 am. I walk upstairs to my brothers’ room to get them ready.
I see Theo and Lucas are still very much asleep and Winston is busy playing with his superhero action figure while still lying on his bed. I seriously think Winston has sleeping issues, like me. This boy is the last one to sleep and the first one to wake up. I go towards him and greet him with a very loving “Good morning Baby” to which he gives me a warm smile and jumps from his bed into my arms, snuggling his head in my neck saying, “Good morning mommy.”
I take him to the bathroom and get him all cleaned up and ready, addressing him to go downstairs and wait for me there. He nods and leaves. I take the other two and change them into fresh pair of clothes, avoiding their baths. They are very much asleep; so I plan to give them a bath at night before bedtime. Adjusting them on my waist on either side, I start walking towards the table.
As I enter the living area, I see Mia already getting the table set and Winston in his seat, eating his oatmeal. Iris comes up from behind me and slowly takes Lucas from my waist, walking towards the table and settling him in. I reach the table and do the same with Theo and everyone starts eating in silence. The boys are growing up and slowly leaning to do their work themselves, Winston even told me a few days back that he can have a bath by himself.
That little human is more responsible and mature than his 11 year old sister Iris.
I don’t feel like eating much, so I sip on my coffee and wait for the boys to finish their meals. Once they are done with it, I bring their nursery bag and add some juice boxs as well as some snacks, requesting the girls to drop them off at the pack house before leaving for school. They don’t question me about it and just nod to my request. I wear my shoes, pick my bag up; give a hug to all of them, kissing their heads goodbye and leave for college.
It’s 7 am when I leave the house. The girls don’t leave for another 20 minutes I guess and as for my class; I still have more than an hour for it to start. I don’t know what to do, so I just drive and within a few minutes, I’m parking my car in the college parking space. The campus is totally empty, except for a few people who are either going or coming from the gym. I don’t have anything else to do, so I take my phone out and plug my earphones in, setting my ass on the lawn, lay my back on the tree and lose myself to the music.
Right now I wish you were here.
I don’t know why, but my mind drifts to Mason listening to these words. I know, he is the only one who can make me feel good about myself right now, so I do the only thing that I find sensible to do at this exact moment. I open up my chats and text him.
Me: Hey. Are you there?
I wait for his reply for a few minutes, No reply. He is most probably pissed at me for ignoring his texts yesterday evening. I don’t blame him for it; I would be pissed at him, if the places were switched. The song ends the next one comes up as if guiding me towards my next step.
Call me maybe.
What the hell is wrong with my playlist?
I open the dialer and search his number. Macey-Boo. Found it. Clicking the call symbol, I wait for him to pick it up. It rings for a few minutes, as I almost lose hope and am about to disconnect the call when he picks it up and speaks in his morning groggy voice. Damn. Is there anything that’s not sexy about this man?
“Babygirl?” his voice brings me back from my fan girling moment.
“Hey” I reply.
“Is everything alright?” panic clearly evident in his voice.
“Yeah. Everything’s just fine” I say.
“You don’t sound so convincing babe. But I’m not going to force you into telling me anything. So wassup?” he asks, trying to lighten up the mood.
“Nothing special. I just called to ask when will you be here?” I retort back.
“Missing me?” I could feel the smirk on his face through his words.
“Too much early for this amount of cockiness” I can hear him snicker at the other end and continue, “Actually I’m already here at college and a little hungry. I thought we could have some breakfast together, if you want too.”
No reply. Silence. Nobody breathes. The silence is so scary that I ask myself, what did I say?
“HELLO?” I ask again to confirm whether he is still there or disconnected the call.
“Yeah. Yes. I mean Hello. Yeah. Right. Okay” is the response I get for my question.
I am totally confused at his blabbering and ask, “You okay Mace?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. Why won’t I be fine? I’m totally fine. I’m not freaking out at all. SHIT! I wasn’t supposed to say that. DAMN! I wasn’t supposed to say that either. Uhhhhhhh” is what he says.
I end up laughing at his blabbering and say, “That’s adorable. SHIT!”
“You weren’t supposed to say that either. Right?” he asks.
I just chuckle at his blatant reply and ask, “So?”
“What?” he asks confused.
“Will you join me?” I ask.
“Where?” still confused.
“For breakfast, genius” I reply, now totally annoyed.
“I’ll be there in 5” is his final response before he disconnects the call.
I close my eyes and engross myself in music, not caring what the walker bys think. It’s somewhere around 7.30 in the morning, still 40 minutes before class. That’s more than enough time for a wholesome breakfast. I don’t feel like attending class today, so even if it gets a little bit late it won’t hurt. But I can’t make Mace ditch his class for me, it will be so wrong. I’m busy engrossed in my songs when I feel something move near my right arm and something touching my head. I open my eyes slowly to check and see Mason sitting beside me with his phone in front, camera on. I slowly remove my earphone and hear the shutter sound. He clicked a picture of me looking at him while he is smirking at the screen.
I am about to snatch his phone when he clicks again. I turn to give him a piece of my mind when he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me towards him. I choke on my own saliva, mouth slightly open, looking like a bothered mess when he clicks again. I lose count of how many clicks I actually heard, when I just say, “If you want to click pictures with me, at least warn me so I could pose; you stalker.”
He smiles and says, “Well. I’m YOUR stalker.”
“Cheesy much, are we now?”I ask mischievously.
“Only for you baby” is his ardent reply.
He is good.
I see him smile to himself and shake his head. He most definitely heard that, “Jerk” is my comment at his smile. He looks at me amused at my reply. Slowly getting up, he pats his jeans down to clean it of grass and dirt; moves his hand towards me to grab it. I take his hand and stand up, cleaning my jeans as well. That’s when I notice his hoodie; it’s a maroon sweatshirt hoodie with white stripes, similar to mine with black jeans and black sneakers.
We are twinning.
That’s a total coincidence, but I can’t deny it’s cute at the same time. Why am I feeling zealous about it? What is happening to me? Oh dear Moon Goddess, what is he doing to me? Uhhhhhhh. I have never felt this with anyone, not even with Caleb. Is it a mate thing or something else? Am I falling….? No. No. No. Not possible. It’s too early for something so deep. It’s most definitely a mate thing. It can’t be L.., can it?
I am busy having a debate with myself when I feel a slight pull on my hand and lift my face to look at the person responsible for it. He leans down towards my ear, a genuine smile carved on his face and slowly mumbles, “The thing that your feeling is more than just a mate pull, you know it don’t you love?”
“Huh!” is the only thing that leaves my mouth, my eyes wide enough, just about to pop out of my sockets. He heard it all. God, I need to learn to control my thoughts and make sure he doesn’t hear them.
He chuckles and continues, “And it most definitely is the other thing and you know you can’t avoid it.”
Shit. I’m doomed.