Julia
I'm still so ashamed that I was caught stealing from a charity shop and I swear the moment that he walked in I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. I know that a man like him would never be interested in someone like me, but that doesn't mean that I can't daydream about it on the cold sleepless nights that I often face.
However, after my antics today, even I'm going to struggle to daydream about him wanting me after what he saw. Despite all my mixed emotions, the look on Nina's face when I got home with a coat, jumper, and boots for her made every single embarrassing moment worthwhile.
After being caught once today, I'm not up for any more stealing, so I'm staying here tonight with Nina and the others rather than going out on my usual nightly hunt. Thankfully, I managed to get a large amount of food last night, and we've kept enough for everyone to be able to eat tonight. Well, everyone except for me... I won't eat tonight. I'd rather keep my potion for tomorrow. That way, I know that Nina will definitely have another meal to eat.
I get Nina wrapped up in her new clothes and boots before grabbing her blanket and taking her hand so that we can head outside to eat with the others before it's her bedtime. She loves everyone here and loves to eat with them at night. My stomach growls in hunger as we leave our tent, but I ignore it. This isn't the first time that I've gone a day without a meal, and it won't be my last.
"Momma, do we have food tonight?" every time she asks me that question my heart breaks a little more inside. I'd give anything to get us away from this life, but it seems almost impossible to do. No one wants to hire a homeless person, not unless you want to strip naked and shake your ass for over-entitled rich assholes, and that is something I won't do.
"You do, baby. Momma kept some leftovers from last night, it's still good to eat." her smile lights up her face as she gets excited, while I feel like the world's worst mom right now.
"Jesus, loving fuck. I really did hear right." the moment I hear a male's voice coming from behind us, I know who it is before I've even turned around. How can I not? That voice has been stuck in my head on a constant loop since he spoke to me in the shop. Still, I turn around to face him just to make sure that I'm right... and I am. Fuck!
No no no! That can't be happening? He said I was free to go. What if he's changed his mind? What if he's here to haul me to the cops? Wait, how did he know where to find me? What are you doing here? My words sound firm, which I'm grateful for because I feel anything but. "Did you follow me here?" I know that I shouldn't accuse him of following me, but in my defense, I don't see how else he could have found me so quickly. I'm homeless, there's no looking up my address for a quick find.
He suddenly looks awkward but quickly masks it with a calm and collected look. "You did, didn't you? You followed me here, but why? You said I was free to go and in return, I promised that I wouldn't ever come back to the shop and I have every intention of keeping my promise, so please don't do this... please!"
I've gone from accusing him of following me to begging him to let me keep my freedom, but I don't care. If begging is what it takes to keep me with Nina, then beg I will. "Do what?" he looks genuinely confused as he speaks, but I don't know why. "Don't call the cops on me. Don't take back the offer of freedom."
"I... that... that's not why I'm here. I'm not going to call the cops." his words and the strange look on his face are confusing me and I know he's saying what I want to hear, but a part of me still can't quite believe him.
"If you're not going to call the cops then why are you here? Why follow me here?" he looks straight past me as I talk, and I quickly watch as he locks his eyes on Nina before putting them back on me, causing butterflies to swarm in my stomach. Now is not the time for this. "Is she your daughter?" I nod but say no more. That's not a story I just go around freely telling the world and certainly not a guy who could tear her away from me by just knowing the truth alone.
"I... uh... I need to go. Bye." that's all he says before he turns around and practically runs down the alleyway and out onto the main street. "What the fuck was that?" I shake my head and try and put this strange encounter behind me as I walk over to join my little girl as she sits close to the outside fire that Pete is managing. I know that guys going to be on my mind again tonight, but the strange few minutes that we just spent together will be too. What did he want?
Riley
I run. I fucking run like a little boy, not the fully grown man that I am, but fuck it was too much, and I just didn't know what to say in that moment or how to even handle the situation that was staring me right in the face. Thinking that she could possibly be homeless and actually finding out that she is are two completely different things and then to find out that she also has a daughter... Well, it's a lot to take in. Her little girl can't be any more than 3 or 4 years old and is cute as a button. She also somehow seemed familiar to me, which doesn't make any sense because I know that I haven't met her before.
How the hell has this happened? I mean, in this day and age, I just don't understand how a little girl can be homeless. It's not OK, it's not right. I quickly park my car in the driveway and storm my way through the house and into my office. I'm feeling so many different kinds of emotions that it feels almost impossible to breathe, and I haven't got a clue what to do about it, but one thing I know right now is that I need a fucking drink!
I shove my jacket off and throw it over the back of the nearest chair, then roll up the shelves on my shirt and open the first few buttons on my shirt as I make my way over to the drinks cabinet and pour myself a large whiskey. I drink the first glass down in one quick shot, then refill my glass before sitting down at my desk and resting my head back on my chair.
"Did you find her?" I don't even bother looking his way as Josh walks in and pours himself a whiskey before coming to sit in front of my desk. "Looking at the state of you, I'm going to take that as a yes."
"I don't know what you are talking about?" I really don't know if he's on about the girl that's haunting me right now, but with how he is looking at me right now and his timing coming in here, I'm going to guess that he does. I love my mother, but sometimes she is a pain in my ass.
"Oh really, so the name Gemma Longgate doesn't sound familiar then?" He's a cocky twat at the best of times, but he's about to get even worse any moment now, knowing that he is right. "What does it matter?" For once, he shocks me when he doesn't give me any cocky attitude as I expected instead, he seems to be thinking over his words while sipping at his whiskey. "I've never seen you this strung up over a girl, Ri. What's going on here?"
"What makes you think that I'm hung up on her? Why would I be? I've only met her three times and spoken to her even less!" I'm being shitty, and I know it, but the truth is I don't know what I thinking or feeling except for pissed... I'm definitely pissed off!
"For exactly that reason, right there. You have only met her three times and only spoken to her on one of those occasions and yet you follow her to find out where she lives. Why? Why would you do that? Hell, Riley, you have women falling at your feet whenever you hit the club and yet here you are chasing some hopeless homeless single mom."
"HEY, DON'T!" I shoot to my feet as anger rushes through my body. He puts his hands behind his head before leaning backward with a smirk on his face. "I thought so." What is he talking about?
"What are you on about?" he stands up before walking over to the drinks cabinet, then returning with the bottle of whiskey and filling our glasses. By the time he's done this, I've managed to somewhat calm down, and I slump back in my chair and happily take my now-refilled glass from him.
"You like this girl... like really like her."
"I don't know her enough to like her."
"And while that may be true, there's still something pulling you to her." this time his cocky grin is warranted because he knows he's right. That's the downside to knowing him since we were 4 years old. Sometimes he knows me better than I know myself and likewise. "I've not seen you get this wound up about a girl since..."
"Don't, don't say her name!" a sizzle of anger takes hold as a flashback of memories rushes through my head, but I push them aside, refusing to let her have any more of my headspace than she has already had in the past.
"I'm just saying. It's been almost 4 years and until today I've never seen you this interested in a woman as you were about her."
"Even if that is true, look at how that turned out." he nods and, for once, remains silent for a few moments while I sit back and finish off my whiskey while the apparently named Gemma runs riot in my head.