Riley
My head feels like it's going to explored. Why the fuck did he do this to her? He's had her scared for Nina's life for the last 4 years and for what? I know he said that he felt that Nina was controlling Mario or whatever bullshit he said but Mario didn't even know about little Nina so why did he do this to Julia?
Hearing what he's done to Julia and seeing the raw pain in her eyes and hearing it in her voice as she speaks to me both kills me and angers me. I wish I could have been around to have stopped it from happening and I wish I could personally end that prick but I can't change either although I have a feeling that Mario is going to make him suffer and I couldn't think of anything better.
Julia's tears are starting to slow down a little and I'm grateful for it but she looks completely exhausted, drained and just plain defeated. She has spent the last four years raising her best friend's little girl while homeless and pretty much either hiding out or running for their lives... Fuck, she's a strong woman.
"How did Mario find out about little Nina?" It takes her a moment to let my question sink in but soon enough she shakes her head. "I don't know. I should have asked him but there's so much going on in my head that I didn't even think too."
"It's okay, we'll ask him soon enough." She doesn't say anything to this but stares at me with a strange look on her face. "What do you want to ask me, sweetheart?" She seems surprised for a moment but soon recovers. "You and Nina..." I have been waiting for this question and rightly so.
She doesn't look at me as she speaks instead choosing to look down at her hands avoiding looking at me and I don't like it so I swiftly get a tight hold of her hips and quickly flip her so that she's now facing me with her legs straddling mine ignoring the fact that her hips are far too bony for my liking but it's ok because I'm going to get her healthy soon enough.
She still avoids looking at me so I hook one single finger under her chin and lift her head so she has no choice but to look at me. "Julia, I want you to look at me and listen to what I'm about to say." She nods and keeps her eyes on me but doesn't say a word. "We have a lot to talk about I know but I want you to know that you can ask me anything that you want and I will always be honest with you. I don't want any secrets between us so please, ask whatever is on your mind."
It takes her a few seconds to let my words sink in but I see it on her face when it finally happens and feel her body slightly relax. "Will you tell me about you and Nina?"
"Of course. We met at my club one night, she came in looking for a job but we were fully staffed. Anyway, we got talking and well one thing led to another, I didn't expect to see her again but then she turned up a few nights later and it happened again. knowing what I know now I'm guessing this was after she stopped working at Mario's club. After the second time... we had a drink and she told me that she had recently come out of a serious relationship and was only looking for some fun. I was in the middle of opening several new businesses at the time and my life was crazy busy and there was no time for a relationship but a casual hook-up with the same person seemed pretty perfect."
Julia doesn't say a word as I talk but I can see that she is taking it all in but I don't know what she's thinking, fuck I wish I knew! "So what changed? I get the feeling that more happened?" She's smart. "After a few weeks of regular... meetings we both ended up admitting that there were feelings there but still, we kept to what we were and I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right."
"Like what?"
" I don't know. I just... Well, we both had admitted to having these feelings for each other but I think that maybe mine were stronger than hers. I always wondered if she was as over her ex as she claimed. I always wondered if she was..." My next words are pretty shit ones, especially given the circumstances.
"If she was using you? using you to get over Mario. Using you for her own personal gain?" Julia takes the words right out of my mouth and yet she doesn't seem hurt by them or angry. It's as if she knows that it's true or maybe she's just too defeated right now to show any emotion.
"It's ok Riley. I'm not about to lose my shit. Yes, Nina was my best friend and I loved her more than anyone, loved her enough to raise her baby girl but that doesn't mean that I was blind to who she was. Hell, Nina wasn't blind to who she was. She wanted more from life and I'm not just talking about getting off the streets, I'm talking about reaching for the stars kind of more and you wouldn't have been the first person that she had used to try and get there and I have no doubt that if she hadn't of died that you wouldn't have been the last either."
I feel my mouth gaping open but I can't seem to close it. thinking that she could have been using me and actually hearing that it's a huge possibility are two different things and it feels like I've had the wind knocked out of me. "You really cared for her, didn't you?" Julia's words seem to hit me hard and leave me momentarily speechless so instead of speaking I just nod. "Despite what you may think of her, Nina was an incredible person and she would have done anything for anyone that she cared about but when it came to others... not so much. I told her more than once to watch herself but she never listened. I loved her but she had a side to her that I didn't always like. a side where she used people to cater to her needs and I didn't agree with it but she was my best friend."
"Do you... do you know if she was doing that to me? Using me?" I hate to ask her but it seems she knew a lot so maybe she knows about this. "I don't know for definite but I suspect she was. She told me that you had feelings for her but I don't remember everything that we spoke about. I'm sorry. You said you think that you had stronger feelings for her than she did you, did you... did you love her?"
I watch Julia swallow hard as she waits for my answer and I'm dreading answering it but I told her that I would tell her the truth, that I didn't want any secrets between us and I meant it. "I did. When she stopped contacting me she broke my heart and it took me a long time to get over her but now when I look back... When I look back at how I felt for her I'm not so sure.
I think that I did love her but I don't think that she was any sort of true love and I'm pretty mad at myself for allowing her to hurt me for so long. I've not had any kind of relationship or casual thing since her, only one-night stands because I hadn't met anyone that I wanted more with, that I wanted to give my trust and love to until I met you, Julia. The day I met you all of that changed, it just took me a little while to figure it out.
"But why me Riley?" she seemed so confused but I didn't understand why. "You really don't see it do you, Julia?"
"See what? I place my hands back on her hips and gently run my thumbs over the skin just above the edge of her leggings. "How much you affect me. How you're constantly in my thoughts. How my heart skips a beat when you smile or that my whole body constantly reacts to how beautiful you are."
She sucks in a breath while I pray that she believes me. "But Nina... are you even over her? And what about little Nina? What if you are... won't you take her away from me? Or what if our not?" Ok, now her mind is running her into some sort of panic and I hate it.
I move one of my hands from her hip and cup her cheek using my thumb to store her cheek. "Hey, calm down. First of yes, I am over Nina. I've been over her for a very long time, I've just stayed mad at her and let her hurt affect me much more than I should have but that all ends now. And secondly, whether Nina is mine or not it won't make any difference. You heard what I said to Mario, you're both mine so no matter what the DNA test says she's always going to be both of ours until our last breaths."
She sucks in a breath looking cute as fuck and I can't wait any longer. I cup the back of her head and pull her into me not giving her any time to think about this then I kiss her with all I have. It's gentle and tender but also consuming and possessive as I try to pour some of what I feel into it. She quickly joins in and I want to scream, with happiness but instead, I concentrate on the kiss. Pouring everything that I feel into one kiss is impossible but it doesn't mean I can't try.