Julia
"Julia?" The moment he says my name I instantly know that I was right, it is him but I'm still confused about why he's here. Whatever the reason I can't think about it now and I know what I need to do. "Who are you?" Yes, that's right, I play the dumb card and hope that I can make it work.
"Julia, It's Josh. Do you remember me?" I shake my head as I pull Nina in closer to me. I have to keep this act up because if I don't and he figures everything out then he could destroy my world and I won't allow that to happen. "I don't know who you are, I'm sorry." He gives me a confused look while I sit here holding on too tight to the emotionless expression that I've managed to place on my face.
"I know It's been a few years since we last saw each other but I haven't changed that much and neither have you." He's persistent I'll give him that but he won't win here I can't let him. Seeing his face is a blast from the past that I don't want to think of right now, it's too painful and I have too much to worry about now without letting the past bring me down
If I'm being honest with myself, I wish I could let Josh know that I remember him, he was always good to me and treated me well, like a human and I'd love to catch up with him but he is also a part of my past that I can't afford to live in to right now so I won't. "I'm sorry, but I think you have me confused with someone else."
"Can someone tell me what the hell is going on here?" Riley's bossy tone is back and for once I don't mind it. "Your friends seem to be confused. Now, would everyone please give me a few moments with my daughter... alone." It's more a command than a question and despite both Riley and Josh seeming confused they both nod along with Mandy and head for the door while relief swarms my body. "We'll be in the waiting room when you're ready to see us." I nod and give Riley the best smile that I can muster before he leaves and I'm finally left alone with my daughter.
"Ok, baby. Are you ready to get out of here?" Her little face lights up at my words and gives me the strength that I need to keep pushing forward even if my body is crying out for me to stay in this bed a little longer. "Are we going home, momma?" I nod as I get out of bed and start gathering the few possessions that I own. "Yes, baby. We're gonna go home and make sure that everyone is ok but after that, how about you and I head off somewhere for an adventure?" After seeing Josh there's no way that we can stay around here any longer. My plan to leave after Christmas has just been brought forward. It's a shame but it's just what I have to do.
The moment I am ready to leave we head for the door, we don't have time to waste here and I want as much time between them and us as possible only before I can even open the door it is pushed open, and in walks Mandy. Shit! straight away she must see the look of panic on my face as she raises both of her hands in a calming manner. "It's ok Julia, It's just me." I take a step back while gently pushing Nina behind me. I'm pretty confident that Mandy won't hurt her but still, I feel the need to protect her in this moment.
"Look I know that you going to leave and I'm not here to try and stop you ok, so please don't panic. I just wanted to have a quick word with you before you leave and before Riley can come here." Her words are calm and it leaves me with a very weird feeling. I'm pretty sure that she not going to get Riley before I leave which I'm thankful for but her behaviour still seems off.
"Here, I want you to take this." She holds out her hand and I see a stack of bills like I ain't ever seen before. I shake my head but don't get to say a word as she beats me to it. "I know you want to refuse them but please take them. There's no strings attached, I just want to help you."
"But why?" She gives me a gentle smile that I feel deep in my stomach. "I was where you are once, Julia. I know the struggle. Luckily for me, I wasn't in that position for too long but still, the memories will always stay with me. Now, I don't know how long we have until Riley comes but I want to respect your wishes to leave so I'm going to leave now and let you decide what you do next."
Without another word, she turns around and heads for the door, only just before she leaves she once more turns to face me. "Oh, and Julia. I just want you to know that you don't have to leave. If you want to stay then I will help you with anything you need. I will help you get off the streets if that's your wish. Regardless of what Riley says or wants I will help you. There's a sheet of paper in with the money, it has both Riley's and my cell numbers and our addresses. You can call or come to us anytime Julia, both you and your little girl. Please take care, sweet girl."
And with those quick but sweet parting words she leaves as quickly as she came and I find myself rooted to the spot speechless and honestly, feeling a little lost. How is that woman so Goddam kind? I'm also pretty confused by her statement of once being in my position. What did she mean? Has she been a single patient before maybe? It has to be because the only other option is she has been homeless and I just don't see that being the case.
A tug on my hand brings me back to reality as my little girl looks up at me with a little worry. "You ok, momma?" Oh, bless her heart. "I'm good, baby. Now, shall we get going?" She nods seeming excited while I quickly fold up the money and pop it in my back pocket. I pick up Nina and finally leave the room making quick work of getting out of the hospital before any of them can see me.
Just before we leave the hospital grounds I look behind me saying a silent goodbye to Riley. Since the first moment that I met him, there's been something about him, he's always been on my mind and has helped me in so many ways and yes, I wish I could say goodbye to him, to thank him one more time for his help but I can't, I have a feeling that he will try and stop me and I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to keep saying no, even if it is the right thing thing to do.
It doesn't take us long to arrive back at the alleyway but the place looks so different that I double-check that I'm in the right alley. All of the tents are gone, the firepit and chairs all gone but the worst thing of all is that all of the people have gone, my friends, my family. Where is everyone? More devastation hits me when I realize that the little possessions that Nina and I owned have also gone. There's nothing here, it's just an empty alley with no trace of any human life once living here.
"Where is everyone, momma?" Nina's little voice somehow makes the reality of the situation hit even harder but I can't show her that. "I'm not sure, baby. Maybe they had to move because of the storm but I'm sure that they are all fine, don't you worry." She smiles seeming happy with my answer but I'm not. Where is everyone? shit... what if they got hurt in the storm. They could be at the hospital or worse. I should have checked but instead, I was a selfish bitch and I'm gonna regret it for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure how long it's been since we left the hospital but considering the fact that we walked here and Riley owns a car I know that we are already pushing our luck by still being here. Don't get me wrong, I know that there's a big chance that he won't come after us and I wouldn't blame him but he's been pretty consistent in finding me lately so I don't want to risk anything.
"Come on, baby, let's get out of here."
"Where are we going, momma?"
"On an adventure to a new place. How exciting is that?" I force myself to sound more excited than I feel and thankfully Nina buys it as her all body starts bouncing with excitement as we turn away from the only place that she has ever known as her home and head back down the alleyway and to the start of our new life.