Julia
Five days ago
"Where are we going, momma?" After we walked through downtown New York, we headed for the bus station. The storm still hadn't completely settled and it was starting to get wet so I needed to figure out a plan and fast and that started with us getting a bus away from town and away from life as we know it.
"It's going to be one big adventure!" Her little face lights up with excitement as her body bounces around in the seat at the idea of an adventure but the truth is that I have no idea of where we are going or where we are even going to stay tonight. Yes, I planned on us leaving but not for a few more weeks so with no final plan in place I'm at a loss right now.
We ride the bus until it takes us to the outskirts of the town and for some reason, I decide that this is our stop. Of course, the moment that we are off the bus and it's out of sight, I instantly regretted my decision. I have no idea where we are so getting off here was a pretty shit idea and on top of that, we are also in an area where there is barely anyone around, and it's dark. Well done, Julia, real fucking clever! I mentally high-five myself in the face as I look around us.
"Look over there, momma." I follow Nina's line of sight and quickly see what she's looking at. Just a few feet in front of us is a little cottage and even from here, it's pretty clear to see that it's abandoned. "Can we go see, momma? Can we?" She practically begging me with is cute but the fact that my daughter is excited about an abandoned building potentially being somewhere for us to stay hits me hard. The saddest part about this whole situation is the fact that this place if we stay here wouldn't be the worst place that I have stayed and this would be the first place that Nina has stayed that has a roof and four walls.
"Ok, but you don't leave my hand go for one second, do you hear me? I mean it Nina, you're not to leave my side!" The tone of my voice makes it clear that I'm not messing around and thankfully for me, Nina knows when she has to listen, and now is most definitely one of those moments. I must be crazy going into some abandoned cottage in the middle of nowhere but let's be honest, I'm quickly running out of options. It's getting late, dark, and even colder and I need to find somewhere as safe as possible for Nina to get some sleep.
"I promise, Mom." She tightens her hold on my hand making me smile and then I take a deep breath and start heading for the cottage. It's back just a few feet from the road and has a small front garden which I can imagine once was incredibly pretty. Before we even reach the door it's even more obvious to see that no one lives here. The outside of the cottage is overgrown with grass and weeds and there are odd pieces of trash littered everywhere. I try to take a look through one of the windows but it's completely caked in dust and dirt, making it almost impossible to be able to see anything.
We walk around to the door, I turn the handle and give it a good push and it pops open, it actually opens. My heart starts pounding hard in my chest and I swear I'm sweating despite the cold temperatures. I wish I could check this place out without bringing Nina in here but that would mean leaving her outside and that's not going to happen so instead, I pull her in tight behind me and pray to anyone who will listen that we're going to be ok here. Let's face it, there could be someone in here, more than one person. Entering this cottage could be the best thing we do but it could also be the worst.
Thankfully after ten minutes of checking every nook and cranny of the cottage and calling out there doesn't appear to be anyone here. The place is incredible, it's a time capsule, and it literally looks like someone just upped and left and I'm not sure what to make of it. Once I'm convinced enough that we are safe, I head back to the front door and barricade us in before doing the same to the back door then I look around until I manage to find some blankets and want to cry with relief when we see a log fire in the main sitting room and a pile of wooden logs next to it.
"Shall we get a fire going" Nina's face lights up in the cutest way as she grabs a blanket that has been thrown over an old chair and wraps it around herself and then, sits where she can see the fire. Once I've got a fire going and Ninas happy I take a moment to actually look around this room. There are newspapers piled up neatly on the kitchen table, old stale bread hanging out of the breadbin on the kitchen unit and the most sobering sight of all is seeing a load of laundry still in the machine. It's like someone was going about their normal everyday life and then just upped and left, or disappeared into thin air
We've been here for two days and while we have both enjoyed the warmth of being inside with a fire and blankets I can't deny that I miss the old place. I choke on a laugh at the craziness of that thought alone. I miss living in an alleyway, fuck that's messed up but it's true. Nina hasn't said much about the others that we left behind aside from Helen, she misses her and so do I but I have no way of contacting her. Maybe one day will get to see her again but until then I just hope and pray that she's ok.
Thankfully the night that we came here I found a few odd tins of food in the kitchen still in date and they have kept us going but our supply isn't going to last another full day and neither is our wood which means we need to go outside and that thought scares me. What if someone knows we are in here and their waiting for us to leave to try something?
What if someone else finds this place while we're gone and takes over? It may be run down, cold, and old but it's dry and safer than the streets and the best place for us right now. I think the thing that scares me the most is that I have to take Nina while I steal what we need and that's something that I've never wanted to do but I have no choice. I don't have anyone to watch her anymore and I ain't leaving her here alone.
I step away from the kitchen window where I have been staring at the overgrown backyard and head into the living room, nina is still curled up in one of the old chairs wrapped in blankets and sleeping like a baby. I don't want to wake her but we should leave here silly early, I don't know the area so I need time to look around and form a plan.
I walk over to her and gently shake her. "Nina, baby. It's time to wake up." She stirs slightly but that's it. "Nina, come on sweet girl, we need to go" She stirs some more letting out the cutest groan in protest. "I tired, momma." I smile at her cuteness choosing to ignore the niggling in the back of my head reminding me that she shouldn't have to do this in the first place. "I know baby, but I promise you can sleep as soon as we get back."
She peeks at me through one eye. "And you'll tell me a story?" I nod though laughing which in turn makes her smile as she slowly gets up. thankfully my girl is used to getting up and ready for the day pretty quickly due to living in the alleyway and less than 30 minutes later she is fed and we are leaving the cottage in search of more supplies, I just pray that I can make this work.