Hamaliel – the angel of logic. He brings clarity and harmony to our thoughts.
I felt numb, my brain refused to function, my knees felt like they wouldn’t be able to bear my weight any minute. The hall was abuzz with people laughing, chatting, shrieking and singing. But I wasn’t hearing, wasn’t seeing anything. The world seemed to be a blur and everything was moving in slow motion. I felt like I was in a tragic film. And the only difference between a heartbreaking movie scene and my reality was the cinematic score.
I blindly walked towards the girls’ room and locked myself up in a cubicle.
He’s back. He’s perfectly fine!
I felt that moment of weakness as happiness, sadness and relief enveloped me all at once. I silently let go of the tears that I was holding back since I saw his face again.
Hunter made it!
His operation was successful. He could be whole again. He need not feel that he was useless and worthless. He could go back to his old self, live a normal life and enjoy the best of what life had to offer him.
He looked into my eyes and saw my face. I sadly realized that he looked right through me. Like I was… invisible.
How ironic that I had always wanted to be invisible since I went back to school. But now, I wanted Hunter to look at me… and see me the way he did when he was blind.
I had waited for this moment for the past five hundred forty-eight days. Each night, I would imagine throwing myself in his arms and giving him a tight embrace. I would think about how it would be when he finally said he loved me… and how I would say I loved him too.
But now that he was here… the first time he saw my face… he didn’t even seem like he recognized me at all.
Maybe he didn’t. He didn’t touch my face. When he was blind, he touched my scars, and tried to memorize my facial features. He wouldn’t know what I looked like until he touched me. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he would eventually realize who I was and things would go back to the way they used to be... the way I imagined they would be.
When I went out of the ladies’ room, the hall was empty. I decided to make a quick escape and headed home. I couldn’t face Chaise and Denise. They would ask questions as to why I was crying. And I could not answer them. Not yet. I waited for this moment for such a long time. But now, I felt like this moment broke my heart more than when Hunter left.
I held Hunter’s necklace in my hand.
I believe in you. I believe in us.
I called Mrs. Bailey and told her I could not come to work tonight. I was not feeling well. That wasn’t a lie. I wasn’t sick, but I wasn’t well either. When I got home, I went straight to bed and curled up under the sheets.
I remembered the things he said to me, the promises he made that kept me together for the last one and a half years.
“You smell like strawberries. You have this sweet scent that is engraved in my mind now. I would recognize you anywhere.”
“I see you… angel. And you’re beautiful to me.”
“Because of you… I want to see again. I want to take care of you. I want to see you smile, as much as I love hearing you laugh. I want to build a future with you… where I can protect you, where I am capable enough to chase your nightmares away.”
For the first time since Hunter left, I didn’t feel like writing in my diary at all. So, I sought refuge in sleep. I was woken up by the sound of my phone ringing. I had more than twenty missed calls coming from both Denise and Chaise.
The phone rang again. I answered it this time. It was Chaise.
“Where are you?” His voice was not too pleased. “You had me worrying all afternoon!”
My heart warmed at the thought that Chaise genuinely cared for me, that he could see me from the beginning. I cared about him now too. He was a dear friend. I liked to call him my guardian angel. But I know now why I could not fall in love with him. He wasn’t… Hunter.
“I suddenly had a headache. I went home,” I replied.
“Stay there. I’m coming!”
He hung up. I made no effort to get out of bed. The phone rang again. This time it was Denise.
“Where are you?”
“Home.”
“You cut classes?”
“I have a headache,” I lied again.
“Shoot! Stay put. I’ll be there in a few.”
She was about to hang up but I said, “Denise?”
“Yes?”
I took a deep breath. “Your cousin? What’s his name?”
I waited nervously for her answer. After what seemed like forever, she replied, “Hunter. Hunter Vaughn. Now, wait for me.”
After a few minutes, the doorbell rang. I finally got up from bed to get it. I opened the door and the minute Chaise saw me, he snatched me into his arms and gave me a tight hug.
I closed my eyes and let him hold me. I knew it was wrong, but I just felt drained… and broken. And I needed somebody to comfort me… be strong for me. I could never return Chaise’s feelings but right now… I needed him. I needed someone to catch me and pick me up… because I felt like my whole being was about to shatter into a million pieces. The only person that kept me strong for the last one and a half years couldn’t see me… couldn’t remember me... couldn’t even recognize me.
Chaise rested his cheek against my head as he kept his arms around me. We stood there in the porch for a couple of minutes, with me locked in Chaise’s embrace, trying my best not to cry, not to whimper.
Suddenly, I heard a sound of a car door closing. Chaise and I turned to look behind him. I saw Denise approaching us. The car behind her drove away, its engine making a loud, angry roar and after a few seconds we heard a screeching sound of tires. Even Denise ran back towards the streets to check if everything was okay. She shook her head and muttered, “What a prick!”
I pulled away from Chaise. He reluctantly released me.
“Who was that?” Chaise asked Denise.
“My douchebag cousin,” she replied in an irritated tone.
“Hunter Vaughn,” Chaise said.
“The one and only,” Denise said sarcastically.
“Did you have a fight or something?” Chaise asked. “He sounded like he wanted to ram his car into a tree.”
Denise shook her head. “We did not even speak to each other the whole way. He’s just a jerk sometimes. Well, he always seemed angry. He outcasts himself, engages in fights. And in his condition… he should have been very careful.”
“Condition?” Chaise echoed as we all went inside my house.
I closed the door behind me. I didn’t have to wait for Denise’s response. I know what she meant by Hunter’s condition. He just had a successful corneal transplant. He should take care of his eyes because a simple head trauma alone might cause him to lose his eyesight again.
“Hunter had a car accident that killed my aunt, his mom,” Denise said. “It… blinded him.”
Chaise’s eyes widened. “Blind? He didn’t look blind to me.”
Denise nodded. “He was. For more than a year. He stayed in an institution here, didn’t want to live with any of us. But one day, he just told his dad that he was ready to give transplant a chance. His father immediately got hold of a donor and made sure he had the best doctors, in the best facility in the world. When he has fully recovered, he returned to town, saying he wanted to stay here until he goes away for college.” Denise sighed. “I barely liked him before. We just didn’t get along well. He was so… perfect. Smart. Talented. Good-looking. He was so blessed.”
“But he lost his mother and his eyesight,” I said to her then I shook my head. “You still have both. You should realize how much luckier you are than him.”
Denise stared at me for a while. Then I saw embarrassment and guilt cross her face. She nodded. “You’re right. It must have been very difficult for him.”
“It was!” I almost snapped at her. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t just guess Hunter’s feelings. I knew them! I knew that it was hell for him to lose the most important things in his life.
Chaise stared at me for a second. “You okay, babe?”
I shook myself back to reality. Denise was giving me a weird look, like she didn’t understand what came over me. I realized I came on too strong on her and she didn’t know that I knew Hunter from before he had his operation.
“I’m sorry. It must be my headache,” I lied again. I sat down on the couch and Chaise sat beside me.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Denise asked me.
I nodded.
“You must be hungry,” Denise said. “It’s almost time for dinner.”
“Why don’t we order pizza and we’ll all do our homework together?” Chaise asked.
Denise shrugged. “Sounds like a good idea. I can’t be home for the family dinner. For sure my parents would again hail King Hunter for acing his first day in school, although he was practically catching up with us since he missed out a lot during his accident.”
“So he won’t be graduating with us?” Chaise asked.
“Oh, he will. After his operation, he did a lot of home studying to make up for the time he lost. And he’s taking extra classes and acceleration exams now, so he can graduate this year,” Denise replied.
“They can’t do that, can they?” Chaise asked.
“I’m sure they can make an exception,” I said. “If someone is exceptionally smart then his brain just might be able to take twice or thrice the learning an average person takes.”
Denise stared at me for a moment and then she nodded. “And Hunter is exceptionally smart.”
Chaise raised a brow. “Really?”
Denise nodded. “Yeah. He’s like Einstein smart!” I thought I heard pride in her voice this time. Then she sighed. “I guess that’s why I didn’t like him. Because no matter how many times I aced my tests, my parents still held a torch for their nephew… who had been officially tested to have a genius IQ. They were so proud of him, they sometimes forget that I am their kid.”
“Seriously? That’s tough.” Chaise sounded like he’s disliking Hunter more and more by the second.
“Yep! Genius and hot! What a rare combination,” Denise said, rolling her eyes.
“Maybe you’re just frustrated you can’t date him because he’s your cousin,” Chaise said to Denise with a teasing grin on his face.
She picked up a pillow and threw it at him. “Perv!” she muttered under her breath and Chaise laughed.
“How was… his transplant?” I asked, trying to sound casual.
“It was successful. But he has to take good care of it. Though transplants can last for a very long time, apparently, they don’t last forever. He might need to get another one when this one wears out.”
I nodded slightly, but something inside me broke. Again, I couldn’t help feeling bad for Hunter. But I was happy too. Ten or twenty years… a guy like him could make giant leaps… epic years.
I remembered he told me that he decided to go through with it because… because he wanted to see me, he wanted to be able to protect me. Those memories pinched my heart. I wanted to know if he still meant those words, now that he’s perfect again.
We all managed to finish our homework by ten. Meredith was out of town again. And although, at first I wanted to be alone, I was thankful that Denise and Chaise decided to hang out with me.
“I’m gonna call Hunter to pick me up,” Denise said.
“No need,” Chaise said. “I’ll drop you off.”
I smiled at that. Denise and Chaise seemed to be getting along just fine now. Sure they still tease each other a lot, but at least they know how to co-exist now.
They gathered their stuff and then headed for the door.
“Good night and have a good rest,” Denise said, leaning forward to kiss me on the cheek. Then she went outside, leaving Chaise and me for a little while.
“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay here?” Chaise asked.
I nodded.
“If something happens, call me first before 911, okay?”
I giggled. “You play the guardian angel part too well. Thank you. But don’t worry, I’ll be okay.”
“Good night,” he said. Then he leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. “Sweet dreams.”
“You too.”}}}