I didn’t even dare breathe. I looked into his eyes, trying to absorb what he said.
I realized that all this time he was breaking my heart, he was doing it because his heart was broken too. Because he thought I gave up on him… I gave up on us.
He looked into my eyes and for the first time I saw his pain. I saw the tears he wanted to shed, the heartache he was trying to conceal with anger and arrogance.
For once, he was not hiding his emotions from me. I saw the boy I fell in love with during our brief moments in our garden. I also saw a broken boy… pained, heartbroken and frustrated. He looked like a guy who tried so hard and did everything he could… only to find out that his fight was not worth it… that he was too late.
I looked up at him. A tear rolled down his cheek.
“Hunter…” I whispered.
He took a deep breath.
“I need some air,” he said in a low, soft voice. He walked towards the door and closed the door behind him.
I threw myself in the bed. I hugged a pillow, buried my face on it and cried my heart out.
All this time, Hunter was shielding the pain he hid inside. When I thought he was being a prick, he was actually heartbroken.
I lay on the bed, motionless, listening to the uneven beats of the rain on the rooftop, feeling the rhythmic thumping of my heart inside my chest.
I was sure my eyes would be swollen in the morning. But I knew that no matter how many more tears I shed tonight, it wasn’t going to make things better. Hunter and I lost a lot of time being apart. And until now, I couldn’t see a hope for our future.
Maybe we were never meant to be together in the first place. Or maybe we were meant to be torn apart by bad timing and a series of unfortunate misunderstandings.
Fatigue and heartache got the better of me. I closed my eyes and fell asleep, hoping that the nightmares would not come chasing me again, hoping that when I wake up, Hunter wouldn’t be hurting because of me. And I wouldn’t be hurting because of him.
I didn’t know how long I’d slept. But when I opened my eyes again, I found myself staring into Hunter’s beautiful blue eyes. He was lying on his side beside me. He didn’t look like he had slept at all. He was watching me with tired, yearning eyes.
He raised a hand to push a lock of hair away from my cheeks, exposing my scars to his view. He gently touched them with his cool fingers.
“You didn’t eat,” he whispered softly.
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“You didn’t have anything all day.” I could hear the concern in his voice.
“Did you eat?”
He shook his head. “I wasn’t hungry.”
“What time is it?”
“Six in the morning.”
“Did you sleep?”
He shook his head again. “I couldn’t sleep either.”
“Are you still mad at me?”
He sighed. “I don’t think I can ever stay mad at you, angel.”
The way he said the word ‘angel’ made me want to cry again. It sounded so soft, so gentle against his lips.
“You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend when you left Jacksonville.”
He blinked back at me. He drew his brows together and said, “I would have told you if I was aware that I had a girlfriend in Jacksonville. Seriously, I was blinded. I didn’t have amnesia.”
“Come on, Hunter. Tania?”
“Tania?” he echoed. “Seriously?”
“No, I’m kidding.” I replied sarcastically.
He shook his head. “Tania and I were childhood friends. Our parents were best friends. We’ve known each other since first grade,” he explained. “Maybe our parents wanted us to end up together. I guess she’s in on the plan too. But I wasn’t. Never was.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“Yes. Because I’m telling the truth,” he replied.
“She came here and she was all over you,” I argued.
“Did you see me all over her?” he asked evenly.
“I can’t really say. You spent all your time hating the world.”
“You would too if you went through a corneal transplant only to live each day watching your girlfriend with another guy.”
“What?”
“Anderson,” he replied.
“Chaise is just my friend.”
“You might want to recheck that because the rest of the world didn’t get the memo—including Anderson himself!”
“I made it clear to him that I couldn’t offer him more than friendship. But he was… persistent.”
“Then you should have told him to fuck off!”
I shook my head. “I couldn’t hurt Chaise’s feelings. He’s become a dear friend. I owe him a lot. More than anything, I owe him my life.”
Hunter raised a brow. “Your life?”
I nodded. “My life hadn’t been a walk in the park, Hunter. I battled and survived all sorts of obstacles, pains and dangers. From stupid, mean high school kids to potheads who dared take advantage of me.”
“Potheads?”
I nodded. “I was walking home one night. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I almost got… assaulted or molested. And Chaise happened to be there. He followed me home and thank God he did. He saved me.”
I still shiver at the memory of that night. If it weren’t for Chaise, I wouldn’t be here anymore. Hunter wouldn’t even be able to see me at all.
“He… he saved you?” Hunter asked. The tone of his voice told me he couldn’t believe Chaise was capable of doing that at all. He shifted in the bed to lie on his back, staring at the ceiling above us.
“I have always been telling Chaise to stay away from me. But I was thankful that he didn’t listen. Because if he did, then something really bad would have happened to me. I was just really grateful to him for saving me.”
Hunter continued boring holes at the ceiling. I wish he would understand why Chaise meant a lot to me now. And I couldn’t bear to hurt his feelings too.
I looked up and saw the frown on Hunter’s face. He looked angry again. And I knew it was because of what I said about Chaise. But I couldn’t help that. I wasn’t in love with Chaise but that did not mean I didn’t care if his heart was breaking.
Chaise.
Tania.
Denise.
Hunter’s parents.
I let out a sad sigh when I thought about the people who would be unhappy or heartbroken if Hunter and I got together.
But on the other hand… it was me. It was Hunter. It was a case of us versus them.
I lay on my back too, looking straight towards the ceiling, lost in my own thoughts.
“I feel like there are many forces in the world that wouldn’t allow us to be together,” I murmured.
Hunter didn’t say anything for a while. Then I felt him move closer to me, propping up on an elbow so he could look into my eyes. He searched my face for a moment. Then he reached forward and gently caressed my scar with the back of his fingers.
I raised my hand to his face and touched his cheek. He turned sideways and kissed my palm. Then he turned to look at me in the eyes again.
“We’d be hurting a lot of people.”
“Well, I don’t really give a damn about what they feel,” he said in a serious voice. “Especially Anderson. He can go eat his heart out for all I care! You were mine first. You’re mine forever!”
Then he leaned forward and captured my lips in his. He kissed me gently at first. And then his kisses became even more demanding.
I savored the feel of his velvet lips on mine. He moved so he was on top of me now. He left a trail of kisses from my lips to my scars. He kissed them gently and then he nuzzled my neck. I moaned involuntarily as I felt him suck gently on my skin.
“Angel…” he whispered.
He pulled away so he could look into my eyes. The look on his face was gentle and rough, triumphant and dark all the same time, like he was having an inner battle within himself. He kissed me again with fevered passion, but I could feel he was controlling his emotions, trying his best to take it slow for fear of scaring me off.
I wasn’t sure where this was going but I sure as hell didn’t want it to stop.
We had hurt each other in the past. And before this, I couldn’t even picture us kissing like this.
I felt his hand on my thigh as he pulled my leg up. He caressed my skin as he nuzzled my neck, giving me goosebumps, making me moan.
“Hunter…” I whispered his name.
“I have always loved the sound of my name on your lips, angel,” he whispered as he nipped at my earlobe. “Say it again.”
I took a deep breath. “Hunter.”
I felt his hands on the edge of the shirt I was wearing. Then his fingers gently slid under it, touching my bare skin.
I didn’t really know where this was headed, but I knew that it felt good. It felt wonderful because it was with Hunter. It didn’t feel awkward or unsettling like the way I felt whenever Chaise put an arm around me or hugged me. Hunter’s embrace felt like home… his kisses felt like heaven.
If we were going too fast, I didn’t feel it. If this was wrong, I simply didn’t care. I was a virgin, but I knew… I’d always known since our first date… my first time would be with Hunter.
I felt his hand moving up higher and my heart couldn’t stop pounding loudly inside my ribcage. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him to me, giving him permission.
“Alice! Hunter!”
We were startled at the sound of Denise’s voice outside the house. We immediately stopped kissing, and blinked back at each other like we were pulled back from the state of trance we were in.
We pulled away from each other. I sat up and Hunter stood up on the opposite end of the bed.
He looked at me apologetically. He opened his mouth to say something but the door barged open before a word could escape his lips.
“Alice!” Denise said walking towards me. “Are you okay?”
Shit!
I did not even know what I looked like. My hair was definitely disheveled. My lips were probably bruised from Hunter’s kisses and I knew my face was a whole new shade of crimson.
“I’m fine, Denise,” I said, combing my hair with my fingers, trying my best to look nonchalant.
She hugged me. It was only then that I saw Chaise standing behind her. He was staring at Hunter, who was leaning against the wall.
Hunter had a grave look on his face directed towards Chaise. He looked like he wanted to punch the living daylights out of Chaise, but he was trying his damn best not to make a scene. He didn’t want to fight him. Not here. Not now. Not in front of me.
I held my breath. I could feel blood pulsing through my veins.
Oh God! Please don’t let them fight!
Chaise tore his gaze from Hunter and walked towards me. He reached out his hand to cup my cheek with his palm. Then he pulled me towards him and gave me a hug, much to my surprise. I didn’t hug him back.
I reluctantly looked at Hunter. He was watching us carefully. The expression on his face was stoic, but I knew him better. Beneath that ice cold façade, he was fuming with anger. I quickly tore myself away from Chaise’s embrace.
“Are you okay?” he asked, concern written all over his face. There were dark circles beneath his eyes. It seemed he too, didn’t get enough sleep last night.
I nodded, slightly pulling away from him. “I’m okay.”
“I was so worried about you,” Chaise said. “We wanted to come back for you but we couldn’t because of the very bad weather.”
“He almost came back for you,” Denise said. “I almost tied him up to make sure he doesn’t get on the boat to come here.”
“You didn’t have to worry. We were perfectly safe here,” I assured him.
“I told him Hunter would make sure nothing will happen to you.”
Chaise’s face hardened at the mention of Hunter’s name. I stole a glance at Hunter. He shook his head and walked out of the room.
I wanted to run after him, but decided not to. If ever Hunter and I would be together, I needed to do this right. I had to set things straight. And I just might break Chaise’s heart in the process.