Jophiel – the archangel of beauty and wisdom
“Are you okay?” Chaise asked me in a gentle tone.
I simply nodded. I couldn’t speak, afraid that if I did, I would cry or scream my heart out.
This was so frustrating! I wanted to run after Hunter to assure him that it was still him. It would always be him. But I didn’t know how or where to start fixing this mess.
Chaise looked down at me and studied my face.
“Why are you crying? Did Vaughn make you cry?” he asked. He sounded alarmed, like he was ready to punch Hunter’s teeth down his throat if I said yes.
I managed a fake giggle. “No, silly. I was just glad that you guys finally came back for us.”
That was a stupid lie. But I couldn’t tell Chaise the truth. Not yet. He would be hurt and I owed him so much. I owed him my life.
But on the other hand… Hunter was heart-broken because he thought I didn’t wait for him. Before he left, he never really knew how I felt for him.
Chaise looked at me with a serious expression on his face. I felt uneasy because I suspected that he was trying to read me. Suddenly, I felt a tug on my necklace. When I looked down, I saw that he was holding my pendant in his hand, feeling the inscriptions with his fingers. I immediately snatched it away from him. He was staring at me with shielded eyes and I couldn’t read the expression on his face.
I stepped away from him and turned to Denise. “Are we all set to go?”
She smiled at me and nodded. “Get your bag. We’re leaving.”
When we went out of the house, Hunter was already sitting on the boat, waiting for us to come aboard. He refused to look at us at all. Denise climbed in and sat beside her cousin. I sat beside her and Chaise climbed on to the seat opposite us.
Hunter started the engine and we all endured the next fifteen minutes in silence. Each one of us was lost in our own thoughts. Chaise was looking at the scenery behind us. Hunter was looking ahead towards the main house, concentrating on maneuvering the boat. I was simply looking at anything except my three companions. Denise was looking at each of our faces, trying to figure out for herself what was going on.
When we reached the main house, I immediately went to our room and locked myself in the bathroom. I took a hot shower and there, I cried the tears that I had been holding back since Chaise and Denise walked in on Hunter and me.
I replayed what happened last night and this morning over and over in my head. A big part of me was happy to finally know that Hunter had never forgotten about me, and that Tania wasn’t really his girlfriend. But another part of me felt heartbroken too because I knew that if I wanted to be with Hunter, I had to break Chaise’s heart. And somehow, I didn’t know how to do that.
When I came out of the bathroom, I was dressed in a pair of white shorts and a white fitted shirt. Denise was sitting on the bed waiting for me.
“Okay. I have been dying to ask you but I couldn’t in front of Chaise,” Denise said.
“What?”
“Hunter didn’t do anything to you, did he? I know he can be an ass sometimes.”
I blinked back at her and then I shook my head.
“No. We barely even talked.” That was true. Although we had all night to talk and settle all our issues and decide whether we would get back together or move on in different directions, I thought we actually spent more time making out.
But I would never admit that to Denise. Not yet. I had to plan this through. And I thought Chaise deserved to know about Hunter and me first.
“Why… why were you in the same room when we found you?” Denise asked.
I turned away from her to hide my blush. I’m about to lie to her, but I didn’t want my expression to give that away.
“There was only one room in the house, Denise,” I faked a laugh.
“Well, yeah. But the living room was big enough. Surely you didn’t sleep on the same bed.”
No. I don’t think Hunter slept at all.
“No. I slept on the bed. He came in to wake me up,” I lied. “Then you guys came.”
“Okay, good. Because I will not forgive him if he insulted you or took advantage of you.”
“I don’t think he’s capable of taking advantage of anyone.”
Denise nodded. “Yes, but he’s very much capable of killing anyone with his sharp tongue alone,” she said. Then she groaned. “This trip was a total disaster!”
“What happened when we weren’t here? And why did you leave me there?”
“Well, Mica was sick. I think she’s mental to be honest. Apparently, it was the first time somebody shouted at her and told her off, she couldn’t take it. When she came back, she couldn’t stop crying that she found it difficult to breathe. They had to give her a brown bag to breathe into so she could calm down.” Denise rolled her eyes. “I panicked when they told me she was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown so I rushed back without telling you. I didn’t know it was going to have a storm so soon that we couldn’t go back for you. The signals were out so we couldn’t call you.
“Chaise wanted to go back for you even when it was raining. We all had to convince him that it was a terrible idea. I told him that Hunter would take care of you,” Denise said, then she looked at me wearily. “I think that worried Chaise even more.”
I knew what she meant by that, but I kept quiet.
“I think that Chaise was jealous of Hunter. He didn’t like it that Hunter jumped into the water first when Mica pushed you. It only meant one thing. Hunter had been watching you when that happened. And Chaise thought it was his job to save you.”
I shook my head. “It was never his job. He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Alice… if you really have no intentions of returning Chaise’s feelings… you should just tell him.”
“I did. Plenty of times. But he’s also my friend, Denise. I wish he would just give up. I owe him for saving my life… for looking out for me even when I thought I didn’t need him to. I just don’t know what to do. I want him to stay away from me. But how could I tell him that without hurting him?”
Chaise was a good guy. He was my guardian angel. Unfortunately, my friendship with him cost me… the most important boy in my life.
“You’ll figure it out one of these days.” Denise smiled at me encouragingly.
“I hope you’re right,” I said.
We heard somebody tap on the door. Chaise peeked in. “Breakfast is ready.”
Denise and I looked at each other.
How long had Chaise been standing by the door?
Denise gave me a slight shrug, as if she read my mind.
“We’ll be there in a sec,” Denise replied.
Chaise nodded and then he left quietly.
“Do you think he heard us?” I asked Denise.
“I don’t know. But if he did, then maybe your problem is solved. You wanted to find a way to tell him to bugger off. There you go!”
“Denise!”
She laughed. “Sorry, hun. Force of habit. You know there will be no love lost between Chaise and me.”
All of us, with the exception of Hunter, had breakfast in the dining room. Mica was all sobered up and I hoped Denise would tell her parents about the incident. She needed to see somebody about handling her emotions properly. I know suicidal instincts when I see the signs. I was the girl whose mother killed herself when things got too much for her to handle.
Hunter locked himself in the master’s bedroom, which made me feel both worried and glad. I was worried because he didn’t look happy when Chaise hugged me in front of him, and glad because I didn’t know how to behave in front of him and my friends together.
I wish I could tell Hunter about all the waiting I did for him. I wish I could make him believe that for eighteen long months, I held on to his promise of coming back to me. My friendship and gratitude for Chaise had nothing to do with my feelings for him.
I should have told Hunter everything last night, when we were alone. But now, it’s gotten more complicated with Denise and Chaise around. I had some serious explaining to do to them too. I wanted to be as careful as possible because this would kill Chaise. And I already killed him every day that I couldn’t return his feelings.