That evening, when I went to work, I gave Mrs. Bailey my resignation. She was sad that I had to go but I explained to her that it was difficult for me to go home every night. I told her about the night I was attacked and if Chaise wasn’t there to save me, I would have been history. She truly felt sorry for me and told me that she understood my decision.
By Friday, Chaise was still a no show. I was beginning to hear rumors around that he was moving away. But I refused to believe them until I heard it from him myself. Chaise would at least say goodbye to me. Right?
After my last class, I went to my locker and saw a note stuck on my door. I took it and read a letter that I was sure was written in Chaise’s handwriting.
Alice,
This is probably one of the hardest letters I have written.
I haven’t gone to see you this past week. I wanted to. But somehow, I couldn’t find the courage to face you.
I want to say I’m sorry for everything. All I was thinking about was myself and how badly I wanted to be with you, I forgot that I should be thinking about your happiness instead of mine. And I’m not really proud of what I did.
I know I’m not making sense right now, but soon you would know what I am talking about.
I would like to make up for everything. Tonight.
This town has a garden, overlooking a lake that has swans in the day… and fireflies at night. I think you know what garden I am talking about.
Go there, Alice. Now, as soon as you get this note. Give me a chance to make up for what I did… for getting in the way… for being so selfish.
I’m sorry.
Forever Yours,
Chaise
My hands were shaking as I read his letter. Questions raced through my mind. I looked around me to look for any signs of Chaise. But apart from two other kids who were getting things from their lockers, there was just me. I put the note in my bag and then I went out of the campus.
What was Chaise planning to do? Where was he? And how the hell did he know about the garden in CRC? Only Hunter and I knew about that.
Unless…
My heart pounded in my chest and I felt the hairs in my nape rise. Unless… Chaise found my diary.
When I came back from the lake house, my diary was gone. Chaise had all night to go through my stuff if Denise wasn’t looking. He’d seen me write on it before. He must have recognized it. I guess curiosity got the better of him.
If he started reading it, then would he know… he would know who I was writing it for. He would know who the guy he was hoping to replace in my heart was.
I took the bus to CRC and got there in fifteen minutes. The moment I stepped into the grounds, memories of Hunter flooded back to me. I remembered how we fell in love in this unlikely place. Here, we both found the will to fight and live our lives again. Here lies a world where only the two of us existed… old souls, young hearts.
As I approached the gate, I felt somebody pull my hand. I turned back and found Chaise staring back at me.
“Chaise!”
He pulled me towards the parking lot, without saying a word.
“Chaise, are you okay?” I asked.
He didn’t reply until we reached the parking space where his black Porsche was. It had been a while since I last saw him drive that. I noticed the long scratch on the hood, courtesy of the potheads he fought to save me that night. I thought he said he had sent the car to get it fixed. How come the scratch was still there?
I was about to ask that but when I looked up at him, I saw that he had a bruise beside his lips and there was a cut on his left brow. His cheek was also red and slightly swollen. His injury looked fresh, like he’d been in a fight only that day.
“Oh my God, Chaise, what happened to you?” I asked.
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he replied. “I don’t have much time.”
“What’s going on?”
“I only have a few minutes to spare. Then I need to leave.”
“Leave to where?”
“Back to Berlin,” he replied.
“Why?”
He shook his head. “Berlin’s my home, Alice.”
“I know. I just didn’t think you’d be back there so soon.”
He shrugged. “I’m kidding myself if I truly believed I belonged here in the first place.”
“So what? I never belonged here too. But you told me to suck it up!”
Chaise shook his head. “I need to tell you something. And I know that when I’m done, you’re gonna want me gone anyway.”
“What is it?”
He took a deep breath. Then he said, “I’m sorry, Alice. I am so sorry.”
“For what?”
He looked at me with an apologetic look on his face. “I took your diary.”
“I think ‘stole’ is the operative word,” I said, raising a brow at him.
He sighed. “Okay. I stole it.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I had to find my answers. I know that if I asked, you wouldn’t tell me. I always saw you writing in your diary. I have always been curious about its contents. And when I needed answers to the questions in my mind, I knew I would find it there. So when you were left in the cabin, I took that chance to take the diary.”
I took a moment to absorb what he was telling me. Then I asked, “What answers were you looking for?”
“When… when Mica pushed you and Vaughn immediately jumped into the water to save you, I felt that something wasn’t right. His action was too automatic, it couldn’t have been on mere instinct,” he replied. “He knew, beforehand, that you couldn’t swim, didn’t he?”
I bit my lip and didn’t answer.
“Vaughn had always been watching you. Every time we were in the same room together, I would see his eyes never leave you. I didn’t take it seriously at first. After all, almost all the boys in Leighton High were curious about you. About half of us were infatuated with you. Beautiful, tough, smart and talented Allison Harley. Why would Vaughn be any different?”
I didn’t answer. I allowed Chaise to say everything he came to say. “On the deck that day, I heard him play the same song you played in the concert. And it clicked in my mind that once, you told Denise that your ex-boyfriend taught you how to play that song. It could have been a coincidence, sure. But not when you added up all the clues.
“And then that morning we found you in the room in the cabin, I knew we interrupted something. I saw it in both your faces. And when I touched the Braille inscription on your pendant, I confirmed all my suspicions.”
He took a deep breath and with a teary voice, he said, “Hunter Vaughn was the reason you couldn’t fall in love with me.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks this time. I wiped them with my fingers and then I whispered, “I’m sorry, Chaise. I wanted to tell you… but I didn’t know how not to hurt you.”
Chaise shook his head. “No, Alice. Don’t apologize.” His voice sounded heavy with guilt and sadness. “I’m the one who should apologize to you. I loved you so much, but I had been selfish! And I have to come clean now. I have to stop pretending that I could steal you away from him. I was the reason you couldn’t be together. I kept you apart! I lied to you! I was so desperate to win your heart, I resulted to… to lies! Pretenses. I made you believe that I was your savior, your guardian angel. When in truth, I was no angel at all.”
“No, Chaise. Don’t say that. You did a lot of things for me. You saved my life. I wouldn’t be here now if it weren’t for you. You were my hero.”
Chaise stared at me with tears in his eyes. He shook his head slowly. “No, Alice. I’m no hero. And those potheads weren’t meant to hurt you anyway. They were just supposed to scare you off.”
I stared back at him, this time confused at what he just said. “What do you mean?”
Chaise drew another deep breath, like he was drawing courage along with it. “Those guys weren’t lawless addicts. They were just supposed to be harmless school dropouts.”
“How would you know that?”
“Because I… I paid them to wait for you and pretend they would hurt you.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “Excuse me? Say that again?”
“Alice… I staged that scene.”
I stared at him blankly for about fifteen seconds.
What the fuck was he saying?
“Chaise…W-why?”
I saw embarrassment and shame cross his face when he replied, “So I could swoop in and pretend to save you. So you would… let me in.”
I felt like the world was crashing down in front of me and I wanted nothing more than to punch all of Chaise’s teeth down his throat. “Oh my God, Chaise! How could you do that?”
Chaise reached forward to take my hand in his but I snatched them away.
“Alice, please,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry. I was desperate. I cared about you, and I had every intention of taking care of you. I just didn’t know how to get through to you. It was… it was the only way I could think of.”
Strong emotions enveloped me in waves I could hardly control. Anger was the most dominant of them, and before I knew it, I felt my palm land strongly on Chaise’s left cheek.
“I could have died!” I cried. “Even though you paid them to pretend to harass me, they were high. And their attack didn’t feel staged at all! I remember being pulled and dragged with force! I got hurt, Chaise! Before you came and rescued me, I had to struggle to get away from them! I was scared! How could you do that to me?”
Chaise looked at me with teary eyes. All he could say was, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”
“You wanted to look like a hero, so you put my life on the line! And you said you love me?” I glowered at him. “Do you even know that… that guy had a knife?”
“I didn’t know that. I’m sorry. I made a grave mistake that night! When I saw you being attacked… when I saw him pull a knife and scratch the car, I realized the danger I put you through.”
“So, you staged all that, you scratched your car, risked my life, so you could display what a good fighter you were? So you could display your Karate skills in front of me? So you could enter my life?”
He shook his head. “I am so sorry, Alice. I don’t deserve your friendship. I don’t deserve to be called your guardian angel.”
“You’re damn right, you don’t!” I said angrily. “Leave me alone, Chaise!”
He reached out to touch me but I took a step back. “Don’t touch me! Stay the hell away from me!”
He nodded. “I’m so sorry, Alice,” he pleaded. “I hope someday, somehow, you will find it in your heart to forgive me.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if I could ever forgive you, Chaise. You lied to me. You tricked me. And you put my life in danger.”
“I know,” he said. He waived his hand towards his face. “I got a good beating for it, but I don’t think it will ever be enough.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying Karma catches up fast,” he replied. “But this is nothing compared to the pain and guilt that I feel inside, Alice. I hope someday, you will believe how truly sorry I am.”
“Oh, I believe you’re sorry. I just don’t believe I will be able to forgive you,” I said with a sullen expression on my face.
He nodded. “And I deserve that.”
I took a step back, staring at him angrily. “Get out of my face, Chaise!”
He sighed. “I promise you, Alice. You will never lose your guardian angel. You may not believe anything that comes out of my mouth right now, but please, believe in that.”
I don’t understand what he meant, but I was beyond caring. All I wanted was to get my diary back and get the hell away from him.
“What have you done to my diary?” I asked.
“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe.”
“Where the fuck is it, Chaise?”
“In there.” He pointed towards CRC. I raised a brow at him. “I think you know exactly where.”
I turned to leave but he pulled my arm. I stared back at him with an ice cold expression on my face.
“I know what I did was unforgiveable,” he said. I could trace desperation in his voice. “There’s one more thing I lied about.”
“Really? You’re not done yet? You’ve got to be kidding me!”
He shook his head. “Those potheads took it seriously and the danger you faced may have been real. The thing is… I don’t deserve to be called your guardian angel, but somebody does. And you must know… I don’t know Karate at all.”
Without giving me a chance to argue or ask any more question, he walked away to the opposite side of the parking lot and hopped on to his jeep.
I was confused, because I was standing in front of the black Porsche that Chaise drove that night he saved me from the potheads. Well, back when I thought he saved me.
Why did he leave his car here?
I realized I had a more pressing matter to attend to than worry about Chaise’s car.
I went inside CRC and took the path towards the garden. I was surprised that I still remembered every step that led to it. The familiarity of the scenery almost made me want to cry. It had been so long… and yet I still remembered the boy who used to walk beside me every step of the way in this garden. The boy who couldn’t see but was the one guiding me, protecting me while we were within the grounds of this facility.
When I reached the garden, it was already sunset. The fireflies were starting to come out. I walked towards the bench but stopped short when I realized that there was somebody there, sitting on top of the table. He was wearing a gray jacket with the hood covering his face.
Immediately, I was reminded of the boy who stood in the shadows and watched over me, followed me until I was safely home… the boy who saved me from the potheads that night.
My guardian angel.
His head was bent, I realized that he was holding a notebook in his hands, reading its pages.
My diary!
I stood behind him, afraid to make a sound. But slowly, he closed the diary in his hands, and I had a feeling he already sensed he was no longer alone. He stood up and slowly turned around towards me.
I watched him raise his hand and pull his hood off his head, revealing his face.
My heart caught in my throat as I looked into his familiar eyes. Tears welled up in my eyes and a lump formed in my throat as realization crept through me.
Suddenly, everything made sense. I realized why Chaise said that those potheads took everything seriously and the danger that I faced suddenly turned real. I understood why he said he didn’t know a thing about Karate, even though, my rescuer showed perfect fighting skills to save me from those guys.
It turned out, the boy I called my guardian angel all this time… was not Chaise at all.
It had been Hunter all along.