ALAYNAThe place where Jason brought us is a hotel they own, which has their initials displayed on the building—CAJA Hotel. The room he gives Mom and the kids is a family suite, so our mother already tucked the kids to bed, and she probably has fallen asleep. Pauline has woken up, but she’s still too weak to stand up, so she stays in a different suite. The rest of us are gathered in the living room.
“This place is safe enough,” Jason says after Cassius’s question about the security. I can’t blame him for being cautious. We almost died yesterday.
“Shouldn’t we talk about our next move?” Arianna suggests.
“God!” Cassius grunts, resting his head against the luxurious black sofa. “I’m fucking restless.”
“People still need to rest, A,” Jason says, staring out the window.
I remember I haven’t spoken with them about the mob thing,“We shouldn’t waste time. We have children with us. We have to move them somewhere else again. Somewhere far.” Oliver looks at me with concern. “Alayna, it’s still up to you.”
“You’re right, but I’m not prepared,” I say. To somewhere else is out of my budget. I’d have to look for a new place, probably across another state. I suppose I should take them to New York with me, but I can’t guarantee they’ll be safe. I’ve only found out they’re being watched now. It’s creepy as hell.
“I’ll take care of it,”The two cousins exchange a look, but Brandon seems more confused.
I gape for a moment, then clear my throat. “I’m sure you’ll be busy by then, Brandon,” I say truthfully.
He whispers in my ear. “It doesn’t have to be this way, Alayna.”
“What? You don’t have to whisper. I’m sure everyone here knows you’re still leaving,” I say wryly.
“You’re leaving?” Casey says, her eyes flying to Brandon.
“Hey!” Cassius holds up a hand, looking at his cousin too. “You already told her?”
“I told her,” Ollie inserts.
Carmelo clicks his tongue and slumps on the sofa. “No wonder she’s angry.”
“Maybe you didn’t explain it to her clearly,” Constantine adds.
I look up at the twins. “I get why he has to leave. I know everything now.”
Brandon massages his temple. “Alayna, can we talk about this alone?”
“No, you don’t get it. I want them to hear it because it’s the only way I can get an answer from you. You always avoid conversations about this, and out of everyone, I’m the one who knows least about all your plans, your secrets,” I persist.
He seethes, then faces me. “It’s not like that. You’ve misunderstood things again. I just didn’t want to ruin.... I didn’t want to upset you.”
“So if you tell me later, I won’t get upset? Isn’t that the same?” I fire back. “You’ve doneHe is leaving to get his revenge, and I don’t even know when he’ll come back. I can’t hold on to empty promises again.
Or maybe he’ll just decide to marry Pauline, and I’ll be bitter for the rest of my life.
Brandon doesn’t answer. He knows I’m right, which is what hurts the most.
Everyone is quiet and listening, probably feeling guilty for keeping Brandon’s secret from me. It doesn’t matter if he leaves to finish everything he started. He deserves a chance to do that. But what bothers me is that it will happen to us later“So I think there’s no point in talking about the next move, Arianna,” I continue, addressing my sister’s question earlier. “Because we all know what’s going to happen next.” I turn my attention back to Brandon. “Tell me, when do you plan on leaving?”
He closes his eyes and sighs. “On Sunday.”
My heart aches, but I laugh derisively. “Four days from now. Okay“I was going to speak to you about that,” Constantine says. “A written statement is fine, but do you mind a video?”
“I don’t mind, Constantine. Thank you.”
I can’t sit in this conversation anymore. I already said what I had to say. I stand to excuse myself, but Brandon catches my wrist. “Alayna, please.”
I yank my hand away. “I’m going to check on Mom.” I walk past everyone without looking behind.
I wasn’t going to check on Mom. I just want to calm my nerves. My heart feels like it’s exploding, and I am dizzy. Though a part of me wants Brandon to follow me, another part doesn’t. I’m not sure what I want anymore.
I go to the room next door, which Jason provided for me. A little later, there is a knock on my door, and I wasn’t going to answer it—but I’m stupid, so I do.
Though it isn’t Brandon who has come, it’s Ollie. “Can I come in?”
“Oh.” I frown. “Of course you can.”
I hold the door open, and he steps inside. He looks around the room and nods in approval. “Warm enough.”
“So, how are you holding up?”
“Much better.” He carefully sits on the lounge chair and crosses his legs. “My wound still hurts like hell, though.”
“You shouldn’t be walking around. You should be resting.”
“I’m fine, Alayna.”
“I’m sorry about earlier. I can’t help it.” I take the chair across him as I speak.
“I suppose it’s my fault?”
“No, it’s not.” I smile a little, reassuring him. “I deserved to know.”
“You were just surprised.”
“Maybe. But we both know that, whatever my reaction is, he’s still going to leave.”
“Then ask him to stay,” Ollie says.
I laugh. “That’s a good joke.”
Oliver’s face remains stern. “I’m not joking, Alayna.”
I shake my head. “No, Ollie. I won’t be that kind of person. If I do that, will he be happy?”
“He will because it’s youI frown at him, remembering his words back in the hospital. “But you told me I needed to leave. What has changed?”
“Alayna, you have a choice. I just think you should free yourself from all this. Still your decision to make, though.”
“Yes, and you told me why, and believe me, I think it’s a wise path too.” I sigh hard. “Okay. He might not“So, you’ll just sacrifice your happiness for his.” It’s not a question. Oliver knows exactly what’s going on.
“We all have to sacrifice something at some point in our lives.”
“He might not be the same again this time.”
“I know. I anticipate that, but I can’t be selfish.”
Oliver’s expression grows concerned. “But you won’t wait for him either?”
Would I wait for him? I don’t know. “It hurts, Ollie, but I can’t be who I was last year again.”
Or, if possible, I wish I could close my heart. If Brandon ends up marrying Pauline, I’ll die inside. That possibility might come true because of everything Oliver has said. They were each other’s first love. I’m the villain in their checkered love story. He loved her once. It’s not impossible he’ll love her again, just like Pauline said.
Silence.
Oliver’s shoulders relax, and he exhales. “Alayna, I have to ask you one more time. Are you sure you’ll just let him go?”
“There’s no other choice. Any possibility of following him to Athens is non-existent. I can’t get hurt by all this war for revenge or see him marry another woman.”
He nods. “Then I have a proposal.”
“What proposal?”
“My own sacrifice.”
***
The kids are watching morning cartoons on TV in the family room while my mother is having breakfast in the dining room. I crawled next to her in bed late last night and cuddled her until my misery eased. I tried my best to avoid Brandon for the rest of the day yesterday too.
“Morning, Mom.” I embrace her from behind and kiss her cheek. “Have the kids already eaten?” I ask as I sit.
“Yes, and quickly, I tell you.” She chuckles. “They’re excited to watch the big TV. Oh, eat up, darling.” She offers me the eggs, bacon, French toast, and the pitcher of milk on the table.
I grab toast because, fortunately, I finally feel hungry after skipping dinner last night. I munch on a big bite.
“So, aren’t you going to tell me what’s happening now? We’re in Kansas City with your older brother and Arianna, with your boss-boyfriend and his cousins. What is happening here, Laynie?”
Oh, right. I haven’t spoken to her yet. I swallow the food and drink the milk first. My mother deserves to know. I hate being kept in the dark, and I’m doing it to her.
“Okay, first things first. We’re here all together because we’re in danger.”
Her face pales in shock. “What do you mean?”
“It’s a shock, but please, Mom, don’t freak out, okay?”
“Believe me, I’m starting to, but carry on.” She caresses my chin. “Whatever that is, you’re my daughter. I’m always on your side.”
I smile. Her words warm my heart. “Thanks, Mom.”
I start by telling her about Brandon and why I became his private chef and brag a little about my talent because that’s probably one of the reasons why Brandon liked me then. I enlighten her brieflyI refrain from telling her about Jason being a mobster and the other dangerous parts because she’ll worry more, though I inform her I’m being followed by Brandon’s enemies because I’m a witness. I tell her we need to move away from Lawrence too for the meantime because it’s not safe there and brief her about Oliver’s advice—though the sacrifice he spoke of isn’t clear yet.
“Goodness gracious!” she exclaims. “What have you been doing all this time?” She reaches for my hand and places my palm on her cheek. Her eyes are full of tears. “Laynie, honey, are you okay? You went through all that?”
“I’m okay now because we’re together again,” I assure her; nothing beats a mother’s love, although I’m still bleeding inside because Brandon is leaving me again.
“Why didn’t you try to tell me? I understand, I do, but I’m furious with Brandon too. He put you in this mess!”
“Mom, he can’t help it. It’s not his fault.”
“Don’t try to defend him, young lady! He is set up to marry another woman! Any parent would feel the same for their child! He hurt you the most.” she says, looking livid.
“He doesn’t want to marry her,” I insist. I’m not even sure why I still defend him, because damn him for not telling me before. I’m sure he knew but denied it to make himself feel better. On the other hand, I believe that he doesn’t want Pauline because he loves me.
She crosses her arms, then looks out the window. “I’m not going to approve of him, Alayna. I’m telling you this now.” She looks back at me. “I shouldn’t be meddling with your decisions because you are old enough to do this on your own, but his cousin is right. You have to leave him.”
I lower my head. If I am going to break up with him, it isn’t because everyone tells me to. I am going to do it because I know it’s the right thing to do.