Nyx POV
I put out the flames in the palace, just like Cassian asked me to. The damage is extensive. It will take years to rebuild, but that seems to be only a concern of mine. The rest of the Immortal Realm is getting to know one another.
After centuries of being separated the inhabitants of the realm are talking like old friends. Gray Creatures are reunited with their loved ones, Lycan children with special abilities have found their families, and no one is fighting. The Immortal Realm is at peace. Macy would be so happy, it is exactly what she wanted. A unified realm.
I put on a fake smile as I move through the crowds. No one talks to me or returns my smile. Why would they? I was Cassian's right hand. His indiscretions are my own. I look for a familiar face to talk to, but there is only one.
Cassian is slumped against the tree he is tied to. Without his wings, he does not look as imposing. Blood is smeared across his face, and he looks sad. The familiar urge to comfort him flows through my body. Then I remember what he did to his granddaughter, and it quickly disappears. I don't have any sympathy left for Cassian.
Still, I approach him and sit next to him on the ground. He tries to smile when he sees me, but his eyes betray him.
"Have you come to set me free?" His voice is hopeful.
"No," I respond, not looking at him.
"Come on, Nyx," he begs. "We can slip away while no one is looking. I can open the portal, and we can disappear into the Human Realm. That was always the plan, wasn't it?"
"That was the plan when we were children," I remind him. "When I still loved you."
"You don't love me?" He asks, but he doesn't look wounded over the revelation. I have been a fool for so long.
"Did you ever love me?" I ask him in return. "Or was I only a warm body when you had no one else?"
"Do you want the truth?" He asks bitterly.
"Why not," I shrug. "I'm tired of skating around the truth with you."
"How could I ever love you? You are beneath me, but I kept you around because your love for me blinded you," he responds coldly. "I had planned to string you along a little longer, but seeing as you won't be letting me go..."
His words are like a dagger in my heart. I have spent years pining after him, following his every command in hopes that he would love me back. I am a fool.
"I ruined my life for you," I whisper. "My mate would have loved me if it weren't for you."
Cassian scoffs. "I couldn't let him take away my pet."
"You killed him because you viewed me as your pet?" I ask in disbelief.
"It certainly wasn't because I love you," he laughs.
I hate him. Every sacrifice I made in his name feels disgusting. I stole children from their families, I rejected my mate, I got lost in the Human Realm, and, worst of all, I pushed away Macy.
Cassian pulls against his restraints as he laughs at me. I know if I don't walk away from him right now I will kill him. Quickly, I get to my feet, but Cassian calls after me.
"How many of your own children did you watch die?"
I freeze. Fifty-three. The answer is fifty-three. I pretend like their memories are erased from my mind, but that is a lie. I remember each and every one of them down to the smallest details.
Eleanore was the first. She looked the most like me, with gray eyes. My human, Grace, let me name her. I didn't know love until she was born. Watching her grow consumed my soul, and then watching her die ripped it apart. Then it happened all over again. There was nothing I could do to save them. I was only lucky when my human died before my children, but then I missed out on the rest of their lives.
It was a brutal way to live, and I have been forever changed by it. Tears fall down my cheeks as I think about my children, and Cassian still laughs.
"Was it worth it?" He taunts. "Following me into the Human Realm?"
Was it worth it? Yes. Of course.
I loved deeper and stronger than I ever had before. Each death and rebirth was painful, but love always followed. A mate cared for me and gave me children. It was worth it, but I would rather die than let Cassian know that.
"Answer me," he shouts.
My fingers twitch at the knife tucked in my belt. He is defenseless. I could kill him so quickly.
No one would blame me, not after what he has done. Macy would gain the power to open the portal, and we could eliminate this tyrant.
"Answer me," he shouts again. "Tell me I ruined your life."
I pull my dagger and spin. It leaves my fingers and sticks in the tree beside his head. He doesn't look surprised that I threatened him. He was expecting it.
"You missed," he growls.
"No, I didn't," I tell him. "You won't die by my hands."
"You are a coward," he spits.
It is my turn to laugh. "I am not the coward, Cassian. You are the one trying to bait me into killing you, so you don't have to pay for what you have done. But I won't do it. I am done giving you what you want."
"No one will want you now," he laughs. "You are just as guilty as me. They will come for you just like they came for me."
"Then I will get what I deserve," I tell him.
He scoffs. He has more to say, but I don't stay around to listen. I turn my back to him, and everyone is looking at me. Sucking in a sharp breath, I prepare myself for them to attack me. I won't fight back.
"Nyx," Edward calls to me. "Come sit with Winston and me. We are discussing how to open the portal without Cassian."
Everyone looks away and continues their conversations. I think I have been forgiven, but I can't be too sure.