I don’t know if I fell asleep or was just hovering between the fuzzy comfort of Ezra wrapped around me. But I slowly came back to a clearer reality that was filled with relief.
I squeezed him tightly and looked up at him. He was awake, his eyes penetrating over his stoic face. He silently brushed some of my tear-matted hair away from my face.
“Can you fill me in, please?” I was surprised that wasn’t my first demand, but his presence distracted me in ways I didn’t know I needed.
Now, I could focus on the future with a clearer head after I shed some of that heavy lingering weight of grief.
____
His calloused fingertips trailed over my back. “Not as bad as I’m sure you’re thinking.” He eyed me. “The werecats have not entered the packhouse. They are waiting for you.”
I sat up a bit so I could fully see his face.
“I’m not entirely sure why. Ceremony maybe, respect.” He shrugged. “They are staying on the lands, though, securing them for you.”
“The other Alphas and Lunas?” I asked. They were the ones I was most worried about. I couldn’t do the damage control I wanted, and if they left, they could come back with a small army.
A smile danced across his face. “They are terrified of you,” he said with pride. “Rightfully so.”
I shook my head. “That wasn’t what I wanted,” I muttered.
But wasn’t it? At least in the moment, maybe.
“Some stayed, some left, scurried home, actually.” His eyes glimmered. “But then they returned, or at least one of them did, after ensuring the threat of the werecats was well and truly gone. I think they wanted to see for themselves how it played out. Nosy bastards.” He grimaced and I laughed.
“Nolan?” I asked, quieter this time.
“Just floating around.”
“How is he?”
“Okay, considering, but he’s going to need something to hold him together, something to focus on.”
I nodded, looking at his chest. “Nolan said he didn’t feel as bad as he thought he would, that losing the concept of a brother was harder than losing the actual person. I never had related to him more than that,” I admitted.
“What is his fate?” Ezra asked.
“I want the pack to know what has happened, everything that has happened.”
“They will,” he said so confidently that I knew it would happen and that he would make it so.
He would be such a good partner. He will be such a good partner.
But of all the terrible things I had done, the worst might be to take him from his true mate.
“Simone?” he asked.
I blinked away unshed tears. I was shocked I had any left. “I’ll talk to Nolan and see what he even has the want or capacity for. If he wants to lead them, I could maybe give some land to make up for their loss.” I tugged at my hair, trying to make sense of it all. “I’m unsure what the best course of action would be. Any thoughts?”
He was silent for a moment, the silence when he was locked inside his mind.
“Why not have them join Blood Moon?” he asked. “They are rightfully your pack.”
A slimy feeling akin to fear or maybe hate gripped me.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I don’t know how much they knew of Raymond’s sins against my pack. I’m unsure how much they approved or were complacent to.”
“The other Alphas of the territory didn’t know the truth,” Ezra said gently.
“I do not want them in my pack,” I snapped. I heaved a breath, running my hands through my hair. “I’m sorry.”
He lifted my chin up, so I met his eyes. “Is this because you are afraid that they will turn on you one day as Miles did, or is it because you dislike them?”
I stilled, my brows pulled together, and I tried to look down, but Ezra didn’t let me. I forced myself to meet his gaze again.
“I think both,” I replied slowly. “Even though I do not believe a pack member could tear down my pack again, whatever pack there even might be. I think there is some lingering fear.”
“You took down a pack singlehandedly,” Ezra said, both sides of his lips curling up into a rare, radiant smile.
“I did,” I agreed, a bright smile of my own appeared. “But they aren’t me.”
“No. No, they’re not.”
“I do not want to lead anyone who does not want to be led by me. I do not want to force anyone to move, to lose their homes. I don’t even want them to think that it is something that might result in punishment for them,” I responded resolutely. “I’m fine with other Alpha’s fearing me. That might be beast, actually,” I mused.
He laughed, and it rumbled through his chest. I smiled up at him. I loved that sound.
“But I will not have anyone in my pack that has not chosen to be there.”
“What about those with nowhere else to go?” His voice was quieter. “Those without a choice?”
“We will welcome them with open arms.”
“We?” he asked, his voice raspy and expectant.
I nodded slowly.
“So there is a future?”
“Yes,” I admitted, and it locked that into place.
I would not run from this life. I had too much to do. Even though I could not live it for myself yet, I would live it for others. I would stay here for Ezra, to provide a safe space for The Omegas, to rebuild my legacy until I could find a reason to stay for myself. But Ezra was helping with that, but I could not, I would not put that on him.
I had to find a reason, just my own, but that didn’t mean I had to find that alone.
“With me?” he asked.