Tristan’s POV
My heart shattered again. Those words of rejection twisted my heart into a million pieces. Why am I this prone to heartache and loss? My wife, my unborn child, the fucking lie of Maggie’s child, and Elona. I watched as she walked away from me in tears. I caused that to her, but I explained and apologized to her. I’m not perfect, and maybe I should do better as a man. Maybe then she will take me back.
Tears ran down my cheeks as she faded out of view and I looked at Lillaine Everett’s tombstone. “I know I’ve hurt your daughter and I wish that I didn’t hurt her that way, but I love her more than I could ever imagine. I only hurt her by pushing her away, throwing her lie back into her face, trying to blame her so that I could keep that distance between us only because of a baby that a woman lied about that was supposedly mine,” I scoffed. My eyes landed on three yellow beads, close to a hole that Elona had covered when I arrived.
I furrowed my brows, wiping my tears away with the back of my hands as I still remained crouched on the ground, but then I decided to move closer to the tombstone where the little covered hole was, this time getting my jeans dirty from the soil. I picked the three beads up and examined them as if I knew where they came from. I hoped that I was wrong.
The soil was loose but damp, the scent of earth rich and slightly metallic in the cool air. As my fingers dug through the dirt, the texture shifted, crumbly at the top, but denser below, clinging beneath my nails. Then, something smooth and solid surfaced...yellow beads. They rested there in the shallow hole of our history. My heart shattered all over again as I took them out of the hole that Elona had just buried them in. I held them all in the palm of my hand, inspecting them. These beads were part of the bracelets that I gifted her for her endometriosis, that she was a warrior, and that she had me by her side through it all. What hurts is the fact that she actually buried these, and I take it that this is our loss for the wonderful times we had together.
With a heavy sigh, I just buried them again and stood up, wiping my hands off my jeans. “I’m sorry that I had to be the one to cause so much hurt. I hope she can heal from it.” I said to her mother’s tombstone, blinking away tears as I turned around and walked away with a heavy heart.
***
I entered my house and slammed the front door closed behind me. Cris had left to be close to SNT, and now I’m alone with my thoughts and this house. This was my reminder that maybe I deserve to be alone and not happy. I screwed things up with my second chance at happiness, and now I deserve to wallow in the pain that I have created.
I went into the kitchen and took a glass from the top cupboard. I reached for the bottle of whiskey and poured it into the glass. I gulped the liquid down and poured again. I don’t even think burying myself in work this time would be able to get me through this. I am a reminder to her of what we lost. I shook my head to myself and scoffed. “Well fucking done, Crane...for screwing up yet again.” I gulped down the whiskey from my glass just to pour again.
I took the half-filled glass and bottle and I walked through my house until I reached the main section where all my happiness was once upon a time with Estelle that was just catching dust all since she died. I entered my old office and placed the glass and bottle on the desk. As I rounded the desk, I saw the paintings stacked against the wall, wrapped in white paper. My finger traced the edge of one huge painting. These were the paintings that I purchased on that gallery night that showcased Lillaine’s painting. Elona had loved the dolphin painting that her mother had painted, so I decided to get them all that night and kept it as a surprise, but she will never know now.
I took a seat on the leather chair behind the desk and took my phone out of my jeans pocket, placing it on the desk in front of me. Reaching for my glass of whiskey, I gulped it down. I didn’t care if I would be drunk, nothing mattered to me anymore. I have got nothing more to lose. Fresh tears now streamed down my face. I poured more whiskey for myself and took only a sip this time as I stared at my phone.
Placing the glass down, I took my phone and scrolled all the way to my assistant’s contact number and placed the phone against my ear as his phone rang. I prefer to have male assistants because that is what I felt most comfortable with. But getting my current assistant had its own story to it.
“Mr Crane? Is everything okay?” He asked.
“Donovan, please make sure to postpone all meetings until further notice. I will be going to the South Hamptons.” I said as I tried to keep my voice steady from any emotion.
“Mr Crane, are you okay? You don’t sound okay.” He was genuinely worried about me.
“I just need time away from everything.” My voice nearly broke.
“I understand sir, take all the time you need. I’m here if you need anything.”
“Thanks.” I cut the call.
I have always appreciated Donovan’s work ethics. I had given him the job because he was an orphan, and I found him all the time on the streets, especially since Estelle was a journalist. She would write about their situation that wasn’t fixed and better living conditions, but I helped him as one day I decided to go with Estelle. She provided food for them. My heart broke at the situation and I started to help them, getting them jobs and education for those who didn’t have and then decent places for them to live. Donovan knows the loss of loved ones, and he knows that Estelle’s death affects me at times. Moments like these are when I think about Estelle...that I’m doing good in this world and helping people where I can.
Now, I need time to myself in a place that is familiar to Estelle and myself, and also the place that I took Elona to see. Hopefully, this little getaway will be good for me. I stared at Elona’s contact, my thumb hovering over her name.