Elona’s POV
Today was moving day for me. With a heavy heart, I started packing my bags for my move. The apartment that I would be living in already has furniture in them, my dad made sure of that. As I fold my clothes and pack them in boxes, I just felt this heaviness on me. I’m leaving my father behind, he would be alone. Cris is also moving and it won’t be the same anymore. Part of this reason of me moving closer to VFS is because of Tristan and the heartache he caused me.
I think that making the decision to move away will be best for me. I just don’t want to see him often. I want to heal from things and I think this might be the best for myself. As I walked towards the vanity cabinet, I opened the jewellery boxes and checked what to pack in. But then my eyes landed on the beads...those familiar beads.
The bracelet of beads that Tristan had gifted to me for my Endometriosis, I took them out of the box, well I broke them into pieces so they are no longer bracelets. A few of them I had already thrown away on that day and I kept these...what was left for whatever reason and I held them in my hand, just staring at them. I let out a heavy sigh, blinking back tears that threatened to spill. I know what I need to do with these.
There was a knock on my bedroom door and I placed the beads back into the little box as the door opened. “Hey kiddo, mind if I have a little talk?” Dad asked, but sadness was written all over his face when I looked up at him.
“Come on in,” I said and as he entered, his eyes landed on the boxes and a suitcase. He took a seat on my bed and I walked over to my desk, pulling the chair out, and took a seat across from him.
“You know, nothing has prepared me for this day that you would move out. I know that the reason is about Tristan. I still have some feelings about the situation...I mean...the way he hurt you. But I do believe that he loves you very much. I know you might not want him after all, but any decision you make, I will support. You have faced things without him and you are growing into a beautiful young woman that I know your mother would also be proud of. I hope that this new journey doesn’t keep us apart all because of you avoiding Tristan. I will make sure to visit you. I want to buy you a car but I want to know which car you would like,” he smiled at me as his eyes glazed over.
I shook my head. “No, Dad. Allow me to buy my own car with my first paycheck. You have done so much for me over the years and I cannot expect this of you too. You have given me a roof over my head, food to eat, and made sure that I was in the best schools and that I have the best doctors for my Endo. So, thank you for everything, Dad,” tears streamed down my face now. “I will miss you but we will see each other,” I smiled through my tears.
“This is what makes me so proud of having you as my daughter,” he stood up and walked over to me. He held out his hand for me and I took it as he helped me to stand up. He wrapped his arms around me and held me as he kissed the top of my head. “I love you, Kiddo.”
“I love you too,” I whispered before he pulled away.
“Let me know when you’re ready for me to drop you off at your apartment.”
“I will. There is one more place that I would like to go before I move, but I need to be alone.” I said and he nodded, understanding.
“Take all the time you need,” he gave me a small smile, but there was a knock on the front door, “Let me get that,” he turned around and walked out my bedroom.
I walked over to my vanity cabinet again and then started to pack the jewellery away, a light knock on my bedroom door snapped me out of the moment as the door opened. “Hey!” Cris beamed with excitment as she sauntered over to me and held me in her arms. “I will miss hanging out with you but I just wanted to say, all the best, and let’s continue to text,” she pulled away as I smiled at her.
“All the best to you too,” I smiled.
“My Dad will not be taking me to my new place because he bought me a brand new car and I begged him this morning that I drive myself. So, he allowed it. The truck had already picked up my things before I came to say goodbye, but I really had to leave now. I will text you,” she hugged me one last time and I cherished this moment with my best friend.
“I cannot wait for our texts,” I said as we pulled away.
“Send pictures of your place. I have to go. See you soon, hopefully,” she called out over her shoulder and left.
The smile remained on my face, she will do great in Journalism. With a heavy sigh, I turned to the little box of beads. I took it and went downstairs, my Dad was in the kitchen. “Dad, I’m going to Mom’s gravesite,” I called out.
“Take all the time you need,” he was stirring his mug of coffee.
****
I sat crossed legs by my mother’s gravesite, we were hardly here. I had pulled out weeds that were growing and just sat in silence, listening to the trees as the breeze blew through the leaves, the entire time just clutching the little box, staring at her tombstone. I then realized that it was getting dark and I sucked in a breath, ready to speak.
“Mom, you might not be proud of certain things that have happened in my life. I screwed up with Tristan, I put my crush first and didn’t think that things would end badly. But the only thing that came out of that secretive relationship was a life that was lost...a life that I didn’t know existed until Dad told me when I had my Endo surgery. Tristan and I were going to be parents and I lost it. He doesn’t know and I don’t think he ever will. But these beads...” I opened the box and took them out, “He gave them to me for my Endo, and I think this is to honor that little life and I want to bury it beside you so that you can take care of him or her and know you have a grandchild to look out for where you are,” I blink back the tears that threaten to spill. I got on my knees, not minding to dirty my black leggings, I dug a little hole next to her tombstone and then I placed the beads in it and covered the hole again.
I heard leaves scrunch and I turned as I saw sneakers and blue jeans. My heart was pounding fast with fright as I looked up into Tristan’s face as he knelt down beside me, looking at the little hole I just covered. “What are you doing here?′ I asked.
“I came to see you before you left. Your father said I would find you here,” he looked at me, but there were sadness in his eyes. “Are you okay? I’m sorry that I disturbed your moment with your mother.”
I licked my lips and wiped my hands off on my leggings. “You disturbed the moment. If you want to wish me well, you might as well do it before I leave,” I looked at my mother’s tombstone, breaking eye contact as I now held the empty box in my hands.
“I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for everything that I’ve caused. I lost you and I...I want you back. You mean so much to me and I’m an ass,” I looked at him and his eyes welled up with tears as he held his gaze on me. “I don’t know what to do to make you take me back. I have suffered so much loss and I hope that I don’t have to have that with you because I’m trying my best to have you back. You are the woman I love and you make me happy. I want to make you happy and I want to protect you but I can’t always protect you from things. So, please...I will do anything...just please take me back,” he begged in agony.
As I looked at him, I just couldn’t because looking at him, reminded me of what I just buried, and it's something I want to forget. “I can’t even look at you,” tears streamed down my face now as I looked away, digging my palms into the soil where I just buried the beads of that lousy gift he gave me. Tears continued to stream down my face as I might’ve just thought the loss was lousy and I just honored it. We both remained kneeling on the ground. I was in agony, my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest all over again because of this specific moment.
When I finally looked at him again, his eyes were still glazed over as he looked at the soil, but then they found mine again. The lamp close by cast a glow onto his face. “When I look at you, it's a reminder...a painful reminder of what we lost in the process and we will never get it back,” I said as I stood up, dusting myself off. I walked away, leaving him behind. I came here to be alone and he showed up just making this moment worse for myself.
“Elona!” he called out to me, but I do not stop. I continue to walk away. This is the last I have to see him again and I hope he doesn’t show up at my apartment as painful as this was. I’m starting a new journey and I will succeed and that is with The Velvet Fashion Show.