Chapter Seventeen
“Why didn’t one of you wake me up? She could have been killed. One of you should have said something.” My mother is not happy.
Aunt Rita rubs my mother’s back and pats the kitchen counter. “Well, I for one did not want you to do something silly like offering yourself over in Perry’s place. I’m sure he would have taken you, and then come back to get her anyway.”
“Not your decision!” My mother slams her fist on the counter, and then covers her face with her hands.
Her anxiety is palpable. She just laid my dad to rest, and now she has to worry about losing me. Up until I got the first part of my sword I was almost certain she was going to.
I get up from the kitchen table and go over to her, pulling her hands away from her eyes. “Mom, I’m fine. I’m not going anywhere. None of you are. Samael is afraid. Of me. I don’t think he thought I was capable of getting this far, but here I am.” I shake my head and run my fingers through my freshly washed hair, feeling it go pouf and curly as it dries. “I just need a little more time. The sword can kill him, but I don’t know how I can get close enough to do it. When I pulled out my sword the shields from my satchel disappeared, and he saw me. That does away with my ‘I’ll sneak up on him and kill him’ plan. We’ll come up with something.”
I cut my eye and watch Haines butter and jelly two slices of toast. He stirs his tea, lifts it to his mouth, softly smiles, and takes a sip. I think he feels a little relieved. For the first time since he and I—I don’t know, started liking each other—there seems to be a light at the end of this shitty tunnel.
He looks at me and motions toward his toast, silently asking me if I’d like any.
I shake my head and go to open the freezer. “Anyone up for frozen pizza? It kind of does taste like delivery.” Silence. “Good. More for me. But just for the record, once this thing is finished cooking, no one even think about asking for—”
“Perrian?” Haines says. “Who were you thanking? Back in the woods?”
Smiling to myself, I open the oven door, put the pizza in, and set the temperature. “Lilith,” I say, turning back to them. “I was thanking Lilith. She spoke to me. When I thought of giving up another part of me kept asking for help. And then I heard a voice telling me to hold on. To wait. She said that help was coming and then, Haines, there you were.” I walk over to the breakfast bar and sit next to him. “I don’t think I have ever felt so hopeless in all my life. So useless. And then you were there and you made me stronger.”
My mother pokes me in the back of the head. “I guess I do know how to pick them, don’t I?”
“Thanks, Mom,” I say sarcastically. “Your humility knows no bounds. He and I would have ended up together whether you chose him or not.”
I look at Haines and wonder if he’s thinking what I’m thinking. Do we feel this way about one another because we genuinely love each other, or because we’re supposed to? I think I’ll save that conversation for later.
After Haines and I stare at one another for a few moments my mother and Aunt Rita take a hint and get the hell out of the kitchen. I lean in, kiss his nose three times, and begin to turn away from him.
He gently grabs the back of my neck and pulls me to face him, rubbing his nose against mine. “What we feel is not fabricated. Never let that be one of your doubts.”
This gentle interaction makes me smile. He loves me. And I love him. “How—”
“You wear your emotions on your sleeve, and I’ve grown to notice the subtle changes in your expressions.”
It’s the truth. Hiding how I feel has never been a skill of mine. Time to work on my poker face. Being the Angel of Death must require a poker face.
I cross my arms and turn my head away from him. “You have no idea,” I say, playfully. “I am very skilled at hiding my emotions.”
Haines pulls me closer to him until we are nose to nose. He slowly teases my lips with the tip of his tongue. “Open,” he says, releasing the hold on my neck and bringing his hand to rest on my cheek.
Was I trying to play hard to get? I surrender to his kiss and lean into him, turning my head to make the kiss deeper. I inhale and feel a surge of power as lust fills my senses. Feeling a pull low in my belly I smile against his lips. He’s feeding from me.
“Please, stop it for at least five minutes,” my mother says from the other room. “Rita and I are going out to lunch. And maybe a movie.” She lowers her voice. “I have to go back home,” she says to my aunt. “Do you know how unpleasant it is when those two…”
I laugh and pull away from Haines, taking a slice of toast with me. “I’m pretty sure I can wait five minutes.” A tug plays at my insides and I kiss Haines on the cheek. “Or an hour. The angels are here.”
“An hour? Those two always come with news that leaves us all distracted.” He groans and reaches his hand down to adjust his erection.
Will it be like this forever, even after the crazy dies down? Sexy games of lust and random carnal feeding that makes us fly? One can only hope.
“That looks like it would have been fun,” I say, glancing at the growing bulge in his pants.
He smiles and picks up his toast. “It would have.”
Feeling the wards drop I walk into the living room just in time to see Ari-el and Adkiel come into the house. Goddess only knows what those two are here for. To help me or make me want to pull my hair out? It usually comes down to one of those.
“Hey, guys.” I walk over to the couch and sit down. If I get too close to them Ari-el will try to hug me. Which is a small price to pay for them helping me and the rest of my family not to die. “Please tell me you have anything but depressing news.”
Ari-el comes over and sits down on the far end of the couch. “Nothing new. We just wanted to confirm that you have the weapon.” Her eyes are wide as she bites her lower lip. Very human gesture.
I don’t want to but I can’t help myself. Leaning in, I hug her and pat her back. She looks a little relieved.
“Yes, I have it. How are you two doing?”
Adkiel stands near the window and looks out. Lately, he makes me uneasy. He’s risking his safety to help me, but he looks at me like I’m the one responsible for all of this. Are his thoughts on the prophesy about me being overshadowed by his apparent dislike for me? I look at him and see nothing but disdain. He didn’t look at me like that when we first met. Guess he didn’t know me well enough. It seems as though he’s starting to dislike me, and I’m pretty sure I haven’t done anything to him.
Yet.
There’s already one angel trying to kill me for no good reason. I hope I don’t have to add Adkiel to the list. I’m pretty sure I could take him.
Ari-el takes off her jacket. She usually keeps the thing plastered to her body. “We are waiting for this to come to an end. To keep us safe from Samael, Rita set up a sanctuary for us. It’s warded so that only Adkiel and I can enter. We can’t go home without the threat of Samael’s retaliation.”
Ari-el is completely transparent. I know exactly how she feels and what she wants. She thinks I can do something to help, and she believes it whole-heartedly. She’s becoming more and more comfortable around us; friendlier. She looks at me like I’m her friend, and I want to keep her safe. But her buddy is another story.
The only reason Adkiel is still welcomed here is because Ari-el always brings him. His safety is only by association. He and I need to talk. Welp, there’s no time like the present to address the elephant in the room.
“That must really piss you off, Adkiel,” I say, getting up from the couch and walking toward him. “Being limited to where you can go. Having to watch out for someone like Samael must make you angry.”
Lips tight and looking like he just ate a lemon, he glances at me and feigns a smile. “It is not so bad.” Gradually, he makes his way to the recliner. On the other side of the room from where I am.
Won’t give me direct eye contact. Doesn’t like being close to me. Looks like we’re going to have a confrontation. It’s better to get it out in the open than have the fear of betrayal looming over us.
I walk over to him and sit on the arm of the chair he’s sitting in. “Not so bad? I’m sure you’re used to your freedom. Now you have to stay in a sanctuary so Samael can’t use you as a play toy.”
Clicking his teeth twice like an uptight cannibal, he looks up at me, eyes fluttering as if he can’t see straight. Do angels sweat?
Smiling sweetly, I lean down and rest my hand on his shoulder. “Adkiel, you don’t know how much this means to me. You two are risking everything for me and I don’t even know how to repay you.”
“You are our friend,” Ari-el says as she shoves food into her mouth. “It is the will of God to have you take your rightful place. Are those filled with caramel?”
I look down at Adkiel and grin. He looks ill. Looking at Ari-el for possible help, he grabs the pillow from behind him and puts it in between us. It’s so subtle I’m almost sure he hasn’t even realized he’s done it.
Ari-el busies herself with a desert plate full of cheesecake bites and doesn’t acknowledge his silent plea for help. If I didn’t like her so much I would hate her ass for not gaining a pound.
“I believe I’ll get some cake,” Adkiel says, attempting to stand up.
Catching everyone off guard, I swing my legs to the other side of the chair so that I’m sitting on Adkiel’s lap. My mother, Aunt Rita, and Ari-el all stop talking and focus on us.
Grinning like a fool, I get comfortable and lean back. “You can have cake in a minute, but there’s something we need to talk about and you better be real fucking honest.”
“Perry?” Ari-el says.
Patting Adkiel on the shoulder I grab his chin and pull his gaze to meet mine. “Why are you helping me if you can’t even stand to look at me, let alone be close to me? And before you begin let me share something.” I pat my side where my sword sits, invisible to everyone including me. “This here shows me truths, and the longer I’m around you the more I see that you can’t stand me. Don’t get me wrong, I can be a bitch, but I haven’t done anything to make you dislike me. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I am quite capable.”
He looks to Ari-el, then to Aunt Rita, and then back to Ari-el. I give his chin a little shake to remind him I’m still here.
He’s squinting his eyes and swallowing over and over again. If I didn’t know any better I’d say he was going to throw-up. “I’m attracted to you and it makes me severely uncomfortable.” Word vomit. He spits out the words so fast it takes my brain a few seconds to catch up. “The way light dances in your eyes. The swell of your breasts and the roundness of your bottom. Your legs are plump, and your fingers are…breathtaking. I’ve never noticed fingers before, but yours are perfect.”
Attracted to me? Is he lying? It’d be a great way to distract us from the truth.
Haines speaks up. “Perry, I don’t know what just happened, but I would appreciate it if you were to stand up. Adkiel, please take your hand off my wife’s ass.”
Adkiel and I both look down at his hand. Sneaky bastard. I hadn’t even realized he’d copped a feelskie. Yep, he likes me.
“I’m attracted to you and it bothers me. I’m an angel, and angels falling for women seem to be our downfall. Samael bedded Lilith and those other women, and now look at him. He’s even more unpredictable than the Morning Star. Your father fell in love with your mother and now he’s dead. Will I be punished, too?” His words are fast but measured as if he has had this conversation with himself.
Inhalations speeding up, he leans closer and smells my hair. He closes his eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath. Adkiel almost looks defeated. “Will my demise or insanity come at the hands of a powerful woman who doesn’t even know her own strength? I’m starting to feel all these things that I’ve never felt before and I don’t know what to do.” His voice trembles and his eyes are pleading. Sweat beads start to cover his nose as his breathing increases.
He wants to make it stop. Adkiel has never felt lust before and he probably wants to punch a hole through a wall. Or at least get me as far away from him as possible.
I stand up and walk over to the dessert tray, pulling my shirt down over my hips. Mmm, mini-éclairs.
After I shove four into my mouth, I chew slowly to give myself a few moments to think. Adkiel is attracted to me. To me. And he’s being completely honest. He’s also extremely terrified. As far as I know, the only angels who’ve fallen prey to their desires have ended up with the shitty end of a stick. I’d be afraid too.
Everyone’s eyes are glued to me and Adkiel. Am I supposed to say something to make him feel better? Now, I feel uneasy.
“Dude, listen. I understand that this makes you feel a bit awkward, but you don’t have to feel…like this. Angry, scared, sickened…it’ll be fine. I’m half sex demon so you’re probably being drawn to that.”
Violently, he shakes his head and begins to wring his hands. “No, Perrian. It’s not that. I’m immune to your powers as a demon.”
“But apparently not your powers as a woman,” my mother says, a giggle playing at the end of her words.
“Mommy, you are so not helping.” If she weren’t my mother I’d tell her to shut her yap. But she’s slightly crazy so I’ll keep that to myself. “Adkiel, I’m sorry you feel this way. It must suck.”
He laughs lightly and pulls his jacket around him. “You have no idea. But it has helped me come to a decision. I will help you, Perrian. I believe the prophesy and if the Lord says that you are to be the Angel of Death then I will see this through. With or without me, it will happen. But I’d rather be a part of performing the will of God. And when this is all over, I’m going to fall. I want to find someone who makes me feel this way all the time. Someone who is mine and mine alone.”
Two things that pop into my mind about what Adkiel just said, and I’m not sure which one is more appropriate—I’m sorry or You’re welcome. How could he want to give up Heaven for this? This life. I look at Haines, to see him giving Adkiel the stink-eye, and smile. He wants to fall in love. And, I suppose, that is Heaven.
“I’m moving out,” my mother says.
What? “Mom, you can’t go back home.”
She shakes her head and bites her bottom lip, which is beginning to tremble. “You’re right, Perry. I can’t go back there. The memory of your father is rooted in that place, and I just can’t. For now, I’m moving in with Rita.”
Why? Isn’t there safety in numbers? We’re all supposed to be close to one another so that if—when—the shit hits the fan we can be together.
Shrugging, she says, “Perry, I can’t be here with you and Haines. I feed off of lust and you two make me uncomfortable. Rita and I will be safe with one another. Don’t worry.”
Don’t worry? How could she even form her lips to say the words ‘don’t worry’ to us? To me? I need her close. She’s my mommy.
“Well,” Ari-el says, standing up, “since we’re sharing… I love to swim. It makes me happy.” She smiles, showing a lot of teeth. “The fluidity of the water, the feeling of flying even though you’re not. It makes me happy. Thank you, Rita, for allowing us to stay in a place that has a pool.”
I purse my lips, one eye slightly closed, and take a deep breath. “That’s great, Ari-el. Thank you for sharing that.”
She beams and takes a sip out of her mug. Looks like hot chocolate. “And though I will miss you, Adkiel, I know you will be happy, brother. You’ve exhibited human emotions since you first met Perry. I knew you would choose the fall. You will make someone a wonderful husband.” She takes another sip and smiles. “This is wonderful. Being around all of you is so freeing. Rita, Barbara, would either of you like to share?”
Aunt Rita looks around and shrugs. “No, dear, I’m fine.”
My mother just laughs it off and shakes her head.
Okay. That was interesting.
The front door swings open and Ryan walks in with Roman. They both stop and look at everyone. Ryan’s eyes widen as his gaze settles on me, a silent question of Should we go home? on his face.
I wave my hand at him and run my fingers through my hair. “We’re just sharing our feelings. Anything you want to add?”
Please, God, don’t let Ryan say anything that will drive me screaming from the room. Only a special select group of people can garner that kind of reaction from you. And then it hits me. These people are my family. Ryan, Roman, Trent and the angels included. We’ve become this little odd faction that completely understand one another and want so desperately to keep the other safe. Angels, demons, humans, and witches.
Yeah, I’d die for them. I’ll fight for them. And, unfortunately, they would do the same for me.
Aunt Rita clears her throat. “More hot cocoa, anyone?”
All except Haines raises their hands. He still has his tea cup. Who the hell still has tea cups?
Roman takes off his coat, drops it on the floor, and walks over to me. He smiles and I see he has a tooth missing.
“Dude,” I say, stooping down to his height, “what happened to your tooth? And did the Tooth Fairy pay you handsomely for it?” I reach in my pocket and give him a ten dollar bill.
Pushing my hair to the side, he leans in and whispers in my ear. “I built a toboggan. The Tooth Fairy gave me a quarter, but I like this better,” he says, waving the ten dollar bill in my face. “Thank you.”
A toboggan? I mouth to Ryan.
He walks over and pats Roman’s head. “That’s why we’re here. He’s bored to death being cooped up in the house and has taken to doing things that kids do when they are bored. He used a storage bin top as a toboggan. There is now a Roman-face sized dent in the wall at the bottom of the stairs.”
I look at Roman who instantly turns red and averts his gaze. Once I catch his eye I give him a thumbs up and point to the dessert tray.
“Anything new?” Ryan asks.
Taking a deep breath, I grab a cup of cocoa and take a sip. “Adkiel wants to be human. My lady parts made him realize how soft women look. My mom is moving in with my aunt, and I have to figure out a way to get close enough to Samael to shove my sword through his face. I have no doubt that he would go after Adkiel once he’s human and kill him just like he did my dad. I think that in Samael’s mind, my father gave in to his weakness to be with my mother, and that Adkiel would be doing the same thing. Not to mention that you all are easy pickings to him. Oh, and Ari-el loves to swim.”
Ryan takes a deep breath, sighs, and puts his hands on his hips. He looks tired. “No pressure, but what are you gonna do?”
I shrug. “Stand in an open field, take off my satchel, say ‘come get me, you crazy bastard’ and get ready to fight? That’s too obvious. He’s insane, not stupid.” I look over and wink at Roman. “I’m working on it.”
Aunt Rita comes back into the room with a tray of sandwiches. Ever the hostess with the mostess.
My mom and Rita can protect each other. They’ll be safe. So will Haines and me. And so will Ryan, Trent, and Roman. Everyone is doing everything they can to stay alive. We’ll be fine. I know it.
And when this is all over I’ll be the Angel of Death. Crazy job title. I have no clue what the hell I’m supposed to do as the Angel of Death, but I’ll try my best to be good at it. I can’t be any worse than Samael.
But no matter, I’ve got tons of support from the people who drive me crazy. Part of me wants to feel sorry for Samael, but all feelings of sorrow for him flew out of the window when he killed my father and drove a bedpost through my stomach. He can rot in Hell for what it’s worth. Will he go to Hell? Do they have some kind of jail in Heaven that will teach him his lesson and then set him loose on the world again? Will he be destroyed? Recycled? God only knows.
Well, right now isn’t the time to think about all that crap. It’ll still be here once we’ve all finished enjoying each other’s company, and this feels good.
My family.
Ari-el comes and stands next to me. “I can replace his tooth if you’d like?”
“Really? You may want to ask his father first.”
She shrugs and then kisses me on the cheek.
“You’re not attracted to me too, are you?” I ask her.
Ari-el laughs and sits down on the couch. “No. Not so much.” She grabs half of a grilled cheese sandwich, slowly pulling one part from the other, watching the cheese separate. “This is what you are fighting for. These people, in this room. And I am blessed to be part of that.”
I lean down and kiss her on the cheek. Damn angels! They’ve pulled me into their touchy-mcfeely crap. “I know.”
We all sit around eating and drinking, talking and laughing. We avoid the topic of murderous angels and impending doom, and I’m pretty sure Roman has collected at least fifty bucks for his tooth. Tooth Fairy, Schmooth Fairy. That bitch has nothing on family.