Chapter Thirteen
“I’d like you to stop bathing me while I sleep.”
“If you’d stop allowing yourself to be covered in your own blood, I wouldn’t have to.”
I wake up lying in Haines’ bed with clean clothes on. His bed smells like dryer sheets. And of him. Haines always smells nice. He always looks nice. I wonder if he can buy the ingredients so I can teach him how to make my homemade butter pecan ice cream? I bet he’d be really good at it. I could spread it on his chest, watch his nipples harden and pebble beneath my tongue. Smile as he shivered from the… Damn-it, he’s putting the whammy on me so I’ll want him. “Haines, I don’t want to have sex.”
“Well, Perrian. I don’t want to have sex with you either.”
I’m a little disappointed. I shrug and look at his bare chest. “Then why are you straddling me with no shirt on and making me want to eat ice cream?”
“Because you need to feed.”
“Haines. No.”
I try to push him but he slaps my hand away and cups my face with his palm. He looks at me with distress and understanding in his eyes. His father was taken from him. He feels sorry for me. He wants to help but feels just as helpless as I do.
Everyone feels helpless, and I’ve been treating them like crap. Samael is a cross that all of us have to bear. I’m just the one who has to kill him. But we all have to deal with him.
“Perrian,” he says indignantly, “I know what you’re doing.” He makes himself more comfortable by pulling my knees up and settling between my legs. “You think you deserve to suffer. I think you’re acting like a child.”
I roll my eyes and cross my arms. “Shut up.”
“There’s only one way to make me shut up.”
“Damn-it, Haines! I’m in mourning.”
“Perrian—” His voice is condescending.
“Stop saying my name like that!”
“I’m going to kiss you. You’re going to pull energy from me. And then we’ll get to work.”
“Fine,” I say, grabbing him by his ears and pulling him into a kiss.
It’s an angry kiss. An emotionless kiss.
I wait to feel a pull of energy or at least a tingle of power. But there is nothing. No healing. No energy. Just anger. Have I lost my mojo? Am I so weak from not feeding that I can’t even feed anymore? That would make things easier. Then I’d have an excuse. Nothing is that simple.
“This shit isn’t working,” I say, pulling him away from me by his ears.
His eyes are slits and his lips are thin. A look of annoyance covers his face. His stupid, smug, handsome face. “Get off my ears, Perrian.”
“Well then leave me alone, Haines!”
I know I’m being a brat and that using my physical pain as an excuse is a cop-out. Part of me knows that once I’m healed I’ll have to do something constructive with my time, which probably means killing Samael. Which no one knows how to do. Especially me.
God, please. Just take Samael. I know you like to help us and want us to be happy, so killing him would do us a whole world of good. You’ll be saving so many of your wonderful people. Do my prayers fall on deaf ears because I’m part demon? That’s bullshit. I’ve asked for forgiveness and know that I’m saved. Why aren’t my prayers working?
“Perrian, you are forcing my hand.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I know what the hell he’s talking about. He wants to do his demon thing and make me want him. Want him more than anything. “Haines, don’t do it,” I warn. If he ignites the lust inside me to make me have sex with him I will never let him live this down. We would never get back to this happy place in our relationship. I wouldn’t allow it.
“You need to feed.”
Welp, time to hit him where it hurts. “You know, dearest husband. Forcing me to have sex when I don’t want to is frowned upon in many cultures, and punishable by jail time.”
His lips thin out and his ears begin to redden. Low? Yes, it was low. And after the stupid words shoot out of my lips, I feel terrible.
“Haines, I’m sorry. And you’re right. I am trying to make myself suffer. But that isn’t helping, is it?” Rhetorical question.
Just a few days ago I couldn’t care less about what Haines thought of me. About anything. Now, we snuggle and kiss and spoon. I love it. But I hate it. I hate it because death seems like the only way to ensure everyone’s safety. Being happy with Haines, if even for a little while, makes it all seem like a loss. My loss. And Samael doesn’t give a rat’s ass about me as a person. He only cares that my existence makes him look bad.
And I’m being a real shit to Haines.
“You don’t have to do anything,” he says, running his lips along the side of my neck. “I’m going to take care of you. I’ll make you stronger and then we’ll figure this out. You’re not going to sacrifice yourself. I won’t allow it.”
I laugh at his arrogance. “Well, just because you said so…”
He pulls away from me and takes his pajama bottoms off. How cute. I have on the top, and he has on the bottoms. His cock springs free and points in my direction. I’ve heard people say that sex makes you stupid. The thought of having sex with Haines allows me to stupidly want to forget that anything is wrong.
My stomach contracts from the memory of our first time, and I recoil in pain. Everything involves your stomach muscles—moving, talking, breathing. And apparently the sight of Haines’ manly parts letting me know it’s coming for me involves my stomach muscles, too.
A concerned look flashes in his eyes and then disappears.
I reach up and begin to unbutton my pajama top. “You know, this is probably going to be pretty painful for me.”
“We don’t have a choice. You’re healing fast but not fast enough. We’re working with time restrictions and I won’t allow you to hinder yourself.”
I start to sit up to take off the shirt but he gently pushes me back down. “You couldn’t put a bra and panties on me after you bathed me in my unconscious state?”
“Why would I?” he growls. “I was going to make you feed one way or the other.” He traces a line with his tongue from my chin to the middle of my breasts. “Besides, you told me a few days ago that you went ‘commando’ at night.” He frowns and shakes his head. “My God, that is such an un-ladylike phrase.”
I begin to laugh and then slap my hands over my face, feeling the tears I’ve been holding back rush to the surface. My father used to say things like that to me. Be exactly who you are, Perry. Screw being ladylike. You’re a wonderful woman. Around my mother, I tried to be appropriate and watched my mouth. My father never cared. He always told me to be exactly who I was. Potty-mouth and all.
“Haines, I can’t do this.”
“Just close your eyes, Perrian. You don’t have to do anything. I’m going to make you stronger,” he says, crawling backward and lifting my leg, hooking my knee over his shoulder. “And then we will figure out a way to dispose of Samael.” He lightly kisses the inside of my knee. “I don’t want to hear of you giving up. I know you don’t know what to do. You’re beginning to sound like a broken record. I love this part of your thigh,” he says, kissing the inside of my knee again. “No matter how many times I kiss you there you shiver. For me.”
White-hot bolts of heat race through my core as I watch his tongue snake through his lips as he places wet, sucking kisses up my inner thigh. My cheeks burn and a wetness begins to pool between my thighs. His warm breath on my most sensitive flesh feels like a promise. He grabs my ass and pulls my heated flesh against his mouth, forcefully parting my folds with his tongue. He zeros in on my sensitive bud, and dear Lord, every stroke of his tongue is a healing balm all by itself. Each lick, each suck, each bite makes me more and more desperate to have him inside me. Have him feed me. Have him fuck me until nothing else matters.
“When you are ready,” he says, looking up at me, “start feeding. Feed as long as you need. As long as you like. I was rough the first time, and I plan to take my time with you tonight, little girl.”
I love it when he calls me that. Protesting seems like the thing to do, but instead I settle into the bed and put my hand on the side of his face. “Okay. I—thank you so much for being here with me. For me.”
He smiles and goes back to placing feather kisses on my slit and thighs. Slowly, he licks the full length of my opening, stopping just shy of my clit. He does it again and then settles in closer to me, his five o’clock shadow abrading the delicate skin at the bend of my thigh. He’s teasing me, torturing me. Every time he gets too close to my sensitive bundle of flesh, he stops and starts again while his fingers roam up and down my legs.
When he floats toward my clit again I dip my hips down, push myself toward his mouth, and it hits home. With a small flick of his relentless tongue, my entire midsection contracts and I protectively wrap my arms around my abdomen. It hurts like hell, but Haines doesn’t stop. And I don’t want him to.
His left arm snakes around my leg, and he uses his index finger and thumb to pull back the hood, making the small nub readily available for him to taste. To bite. I look down in time to see his lips close around my clit as he uses his free hand to finger me, hitting the perfect spot with the perfect amount of pressure. Watching him suck and finger drives me over the edge. The ardor starts in my belly and a beautiful ache overtakes my pussy as he continues to give me all of him. I throw my head back and hear myself make a deep, throaty moan as Haines continues sucking. The pain in my stomach hits a pinnacle as I feel muscle and skin stretch and heal, coming together as the shards of wood from the bed post come to the surface. But it’s no match for the pleasure that I feel radiating through my entire body, originating with Haines.
“Again,” he says, his mouth full of me as he tenderly uses his teeth to skim the delicate flesh. His lips close around me, and he inserts another finger, pumping in and out of me.
My nails dig into his shoulders as my body quivers, as he takes me higher; feeding me, feeding from me. Nothing else in the world exists right now but us. Who we are and what we will mean to each other. He hums deep in his chest. The feel of the vibrations pulsate through his mouth and take the dying throb from my first orgasm, turning it into a raging inferno of pleasure. I grab his head and scream as another rips through my body. This time there is no pain. Only bliss and warmth and Haines.
My Haines. My husband. That thought alone almost makes me come again, but Haines stops his assault and kisses his way up my body, paying close attention to the healed skin of my abdomen.
“I love your taste. Your smell. The feel of your tight pussy around my cock.” He rubs my belly and smiles. “Amazing, my sweet girl. Simply amazing.”
Haines climbs up my body, forcing my legs further apart with his knee, and settles himself between my legs, pulling them up around his waist. He kisses me, and I can taste my lust on him. “Are you ready for me, Perry?”
I nod and smile into his lips, ready to feel him fill me. Inch by inch he enters me, gentler this time. We both let out a cry of relief as he seats himself inside me, balls deep, his beautifully muscular body covering mine. Our first sexual encounter, the loss of my virginity, was so primal that he couldn’t help himself. I was left sore and satiated, and I loved every second of it. But he takes his time now, kissing me and palming my breasts, fingers dancing along my skin as he claims me in so many ways.
“Oh, God, you feel so good.” I sigh into his mouth and feel the warmth of his breath against my lips.
He pulls back, and his eyes glow red. “So warm. So tight. So mine and no one else’s.”
“No one,” I tell him, shaking my head and lifting my hips to meet his.
I moan as he pinches and rolls each nipple between his skilled fingers. He takes his time and explores every inch of me with his loving hands. Our sweat slicked bodies slowly writhe against one another as his hands steadily roam my body, getting to know every curve and bend. He slides his hand around my neck and kisses me. His tongue mimics his cock, sliding in and out, claiming my mouth.
He pulls almost entirely out and I growl, missing the feel of him.
“You like the feel of my cock inside you?” he says, his voice light and teasing.
“Yes,” I plead, pushing my hips toward his to enjoy the fullness of him.
“Take me,” he says, pumping into me, filling the hollow space that now belongs to him.
The building pressure starts its ascent as he pulls my right leg up and over his shoulder. This new angle gives him deeper access, and I moan and mumble as Haines whispers sweet, filthy words in my ear, telling me I’m strong and warm and his. Telling me he can’t wait until his pussy milks his cock.
“My Perrian. I’ve loved you since I saw you at your twenty-second birthday party. You didn’t know I was there. I didn’t want you to.” His words are strained and strong. “That’s why I’ve been so terrible to you.”
Umm, okay. Where the heck did that come from? Love? “Haines…”
“Don’t,” he says, pulling back to look into my eyes. “I don’t want to know how long you’ve loved me or if you even love me. You will. Right now, part of you does.”
I nod my head, mostly to myself, admitting the truth. I have fallen for him.
His strokes become longer and deeper. Grabbing the back of his head, I pull him down for a kiss and my body reacts to him.
“I love you, Perrian.” So much emotion in his voice.
He whispers it again and I come, the orgasm rising and bubbling this time. The others felt like they were pulled from my body, forced by Haines’ cock or fingers or tongue and lips. This one lasts longer and rolls over my body, making me quiver and pull him closer as his movements become shorter and deeper.
Thrusting harder, he pulls my legs farther apart, going deeper as his cock slams into me. “Fuck…Perry,” he moans, grasping my ass and pulling me closer against his body as my pussy is flooded with his warm seed. His ragged breaths tickle my neck. “I love you, Perrian. I’ll keep telling you to make up for the way I’ve treated you.”
I catch my breath and kiss his chin. “We don’t have to talk about it. I forgive you.” I’d forgive him of anything right now.
“I was like a child, a little boy with a crush on his classmate who tormented her during recess.” He laughs and tucks my hair behind my ear. “When I first met you I thought of this as a task. Your aunt invited me to your birthday party a few years after we’d first met and when I saw you I realized that I could love you. All the years I’ve been alive and I had never felt that way; never felt a spark as I did that day. I followed you like a puppy.”
My twenty-second birthday was the first time I got drunk. I never even noticed him.
His eyes darken and he smirks. “I followed you as you talked to your friend’s boyfriend.”
Ah, yes. I remember that talk I had with Gavin. He was dating my coworker Donna, and I’d watched him push her and talk to her like she was nothing. He was ready to leave, and she wanted to stay. He tried to force her to leave, and I followed them to the parking lot. Gavin had grabbed her by the hair and called her a stupid bitch. In my inebriated state I didn’t care who saw how strong I was. I gripped his arm and spun him around to face me. He tried to slap me but I caught his hand, breaking his fingers while I wrapped my other hand around his throat. Pulling him close to me and threatening to kill him, I pulled energy from him, making him too weak to stand, and threw him into a wall a few meters away.
That was the first time I realized I could pull energy from someone who wasn’t sexually aroused. It’s also the first time I realized how powerful I was. The sensible part of me tried to rationalize what happened, but in the end I put it on the back-burner and didn’t think about it. There were more serious problems to worry about; like how I wanted to have sex and couldn’t.
I smile up at Haines. “Donna never questioned what happened. She jumped out of the car, kicked him in the ribs, and dragged me back inside. She moved in with me after that. She and her boyfriend had an apartment and she needed a place to stay until she got herself together. Donna has a nice boyfriend now. They live in California.”
Real friends are far and few and after I hit puberty I stayed away from people. To protect them? To protect myself? I don’t have many friends but the few I do have can ask me for anything. I just met Trent and Ryan but they’ve been here for me and I will rip Samael a new asshole if he hurts them. Or my family. He took my father away from me. I won’t let him do it to anyone else.
“Perrian, you’re making a terrible face. What are you thinking about?”
“I’m thinking of how I have to get rid of that fuckwad before he hurts any of you guys. My family, new or old.”
He smiles triumphantly and then allows stoicism to cover his face again. Sweet bastard. He’s rooting for me. Whether it’s because he owes Samael pain or because he doesn’t want to see me die, I appreciate the support.
“So, you’ve decided not to die?” he asks smugly.
I look down and clench his cock with my vaginal muscles. “I’ve decided it’s time for you to come on out of there. And I’ve decided that the next time you and I have sex there will be no pain or suffering involved. No healing. The sole purpose of our lovemaking will be to make one another happy.” Of course, I’ve decided not to die!
He bends down, pushes my breasts together, and sucks both nipples into his mouth. “Well, I’ve determined to make you come again.” He grinds his hips into mine and grins. “And look at that, I’m hard again.”
Well, look at that.