Leila raised her hands and Kelvin pulled her shirt over her head. Her nipples puckered in response to the chill air that swept into the room. Using her arms to cover her chest, she averted her gaze at his smile. Leila wasn't flat-chested but she wasn't large up there either and right now, she was all too conscious of his eyes on her.
Prying her hands from her chest, he sucked on her fingers. "Don't hide yourself from me."
"But you're dressed," she murmured in reply and her cheeks heated up with embarrassment.
Kelvin chuckled. He set her down and took off his shirt. "Do you want to help?" he asked when he was down to only his briefs. His bulge was pronounced. She shook her head. She was shy, not confident. "Okay."
It wasn't that she didn't want to help but she didn't trust her hands to function properly. Kelvin got back into the bed with her. He pushed her legs apart with one leg and placed a kiss on her belly button. Leila's breath hitched when he cupped her core through the material of her pyjamas, he winked and they both laughed.
Kissing his way up, Leila shivered as his tongue swirled over one nipple. His gentle caress of her boobs took her to cloud nine, he placed a kiss between her breasts and one hand lowered to her small waist. She wanted more of his kisses.
Emotions flashed across his face when Kelvin tugged on her pyjamas bottoms. He was seeking her permission to take it off. She nodded. A gasp echoed in the room when his hand slipped inside, he teased her pussy with a finger and she clung to him.
Leila was wet. So wet for her husband.
"Leila," Kelvin said as he pulled her pyjamas down. She licked her lips dry. "Are you sure?"
An image of Charles Black flashed in her mind. She forced herself to remember they were two different men. Kelvin would never hurt her.
"Yes. I want to do this with you, Kev."
Kelvin kissed her fully on her lips. She parted her lips for his tongue to slip in. Her fingers weaved into his hair, she tugged on them and moaned harder when he rubbed a nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
The kiss grew urgent, so did her moans. Her hands roamed Kelvin's chest, she tugged on his briefs and he lifted himself up to pull it off. He turned his back to her to toss his briefs to the floor, then she saw it.
A small tattoo at the back of his neck that had been hidden by his hair.
Charles Black had a similar tattoo. A tiny Chinese tattoo on his spine. And he hurt her.
If Kelvin had the same tattoo, he could hurt her too.
Those words imprinted in her brain, the lust evaporated and she fell back to the bed without a word.
Her husband had a tattoo.
The man who hurt her had a tattoo.
Her husband could hurt her.
Those words reverberated in her head until it was the only thing Leila knew.
The only thing Leila remembered.
The only thing Leila felt.
Kelvin kissed her but she didn't respond.
He held her hands above her head and her heart skipped.
Charles held her hands above her head too.
Leila's chest rose and fell, her breathing came in harsh pants. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. The only thing she did was cry, cry so quietly she didn't make a sound.
Kelvin had stopped moving. He was staring down worriedly at her but she couldn't do anything.
She was here but she wasn't exactly here. A part of her had disconnected like she was watching herself through a broken lens. Kelvin got up from the bed, he crouched beside her. His lips moved but she heard nothing. She wanted to curl into a ball and hide away from the reminder of her pain. To forget that day ever happened.
So she did.
Leila curled into herself, her arms wrapped around her knees and she rocked from side to side. When Kelvin slid in behind her, she said nothing, she did nothing. His arms wrapped around her from behind, she didn't relax until he murmured soothing words in her ear.
"I'm here for you, Leila. I'm here."
Slowly, his words dragged her out of the dark place his tattoo had pushed her into, and she let him dress her up. This was her husband, he wanted her, he would not hurt her.
He could not hurt her. They were a team.
Kelvin flipped the switch and pulled her into his arms. She was grateful for the darkness that hid her but that feeling of being a disappointment soaked her being.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kev."
Her knuckles lodged in her teeth to stop the sobs from escaping her lips. She was doing fine until that demon showed up.
Why didn't he stay away from her?
The lights flickered on and Kelvin hoisted her to his lap. She held onto him for dear life, hiding her face as she cried into his shoulder while he rubbed random shapes on her back. He was here, he would protect her. It took minutes before Leila eventually calmed down but her husband let her cry to her satisfaction.
Silence reigned over them after her cries subsided. Kelvin hooked a finger under her jaw and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She met his gaze, saw the worry swimming in his eyes but couldn't say a word.
"Do you feel better now?" he asked.
She did. More than he would know it. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be, Leila." The voice was stern. "We will have sex whenever you are ready, okay? I'm sorry for rushing you." It wasn't his fault but if she said that, she would have to explain her history with Charles Black. She couldn't do that. "Are you hungry?"
Her stomach answered before she did. Kelvin snickered. She tucked her head in the crook of his neck, legs wrapped around his waist. He carried her to the kitchen, she didn't let go when he pulled out one of many bowls from the tall fridge in one corner.
"I will heat this up for you, is that cool?" He raised the bowl for her to see the content. White rice. She wanted something else but her husband's cooking skill was limited. Kelvin must have noticed her hesitation, he said, "I could ask one of the cooks to make something else, Leila. Something you like."
"No." She looked out the window where dark skies had gathered. There was no time for that. "It's late. This is fine." Lines appeared on his forehead and she tried to smoothen them. Kelvin held her gaze, then sighed heavily. She pecked him. "Thank you."
"For what?"
The light inside the microwave came on, he leaned on the counter and they watched the Tupperware rotate.
Leila was thankful for a lot of things. He wanted to know what happened but he didn't ask, it was what she was most grateful for. She settled for saying, "Thank you for being here. I'll try to be a better wife."
He bopped her nose. "You're already a good wife. I'm the one who needs to do better."
Kelvin set her down on her feet to tend to the food when the microwave pinged. She pouted. She missed being carried around by her husband. He was her big teddy bear.
"Are you sure about that?" she said.
The embers of insecurity fanned itself in her heart. Charles claimed it was her fault their relationship failed. It was why she continued to stay while praying for a change. She shook those thoughts away. He was the problem, not her.
Her husband set two bowls of rice on the table, he guided her to the seat and pecked her lips.
"Yes, Leilani McKenna." Leila opened her mouth on his instruction and he fed her. "You're a good wife except when you're talking to Mike."
Laughter trickled out of her lips, she peered at him from her lashes and his cheeks pinked. Shy Kelvin was such a rarity.
She pinched his cheeks and cooed like he was her favourite man in the world. Maybe he was. "You're jealous," she murmured.
"Most times? Yes." She made a face and Kelvin laughed. He was a terrible liar. "Fine. All the time. I'm jealous. I don't like it."
"I don't like him," she said in a voice that held conviction. Kelvin scooped a spoonful of rice into his mouth. "He was just there when I needed a friend."
And it would not happen again. Mike understood his place, at least she hoped he did. He comforted her today but it didn't change her feelings for him.
"I can also be your friend," Kelvin added.
She swallowed before saying, "I would love to be your friend as well."
Kelvin held out a hand to her. "Friends?"
She sealed their friendship with a handshake. "Friends."