When the door closed quietly behind Kelvin, Leila dumped the punishment and crawled into the bed. Her stomach was on fire and she couldn't hold it in any longer. It was some minutes past nine, but her plan to keep calm until Kelvin left for his meeting went up in flames the moment the second bout of pain hit her.
The first day of her period was the worst. It always got better but the cramps would be completely gone by the third day. Bedrest helped. If she had to be at the office, she would have popped some pills. Pills meant irregular period so she liked to stay off them as long as she could but they greatly reduced the pain.
Leila pulled the covers over her head at the sound of the door opening. The bed dipped with her husband's weight, she tugged the cover to her chin before he could do it.
"Hey," he said. She winced when her insides twisted. If she could forfeit menstruation for her whole life, she would. She didn't understand why women had to go through so much pain to prove they weren't pregnant. "I got you something. I think it will help."
How did he know? Her husband was too observant.
"What did you get?" she asked.
A wedge appeared between her brows, Kelvin opened the square box on the bed and brought out a flat object. On another look, she noticed the name on the box. Heating pad. Her cheeks warmed, she tried to look away but his piercing gaze followed her every move.
"This should help," he murmured.
His action gave her jitters. She fisted the bedsheet when he placed the pad on the lower part of her stomach. The warmth spread through her belly, a little while later the cramps reduced. Leila let out an involuntary moan, and Kelvin cleared his throat and she coughed.
"Is it better?"
"Much better," she whispered. "Thanks."
The wave of emotions that hit Leila when Kelvin stood shocked her. Was he leaving her? His meeting was less than thirty minutes away but she wanted him to stay with her. It was a selfish thought she entertained but didn't voice out. Her husband strutted to the vanity and picked the paper she had been writing on. Nervous, she bit her lips.
It was the only way she knew how to work for his forgiveness. He returned the paper to the table without a word and shrugged out of his suit. Leila was quiet when he switched off the lights. When he slid in behind her, she froze.
"What are you doing?" she asked in a whisper.
"Cuddling?" It came off as a question and she laughed. His arm hung loosely around her waist like he was waiting for her permission. "Can I?"
"Yeah." The distance between them was too small, his hand resting below her chest gave off more heat than the heating pad. Her heart beat so fast she expected Kelvin to hear the sound. "Don't you have a meeting?"
"Not anymore." He stroked her cheek. "You need me."
She did. Leila clenched her eyes shut and allowed some minutes to pass. Kelvin didn't stop running his fingers through her hair and the combined sensation from the heating pad and his fingers almost lured her to sleep. But Leila couldn't sleep without a proper apology to him.
"I'm sorry," she said. Kelvin's caresses stopped, she might have struck a nerve but she needed to get this load off her chest. "I know you're not mad at me but I don't think you have forgiven me either. I'm sorry."
A hand crawled under her jaw, she gulped down the lump sitting comfortably in her throat. Even in the semi-darkness, she could feel his gaze burning into hers. She hurt his feelings yet he was here taking care of her. She didn't deserve him. She wanted to do better.
"How do I convince you that I've forgiven you, Leila?"
Her eyes fixated on his lips for a second too long. She shrugged. "I don't know." A kiss would be nice. She missed him pecking her, their fingers brushing when they had breakfast together. "Just forgive me. Please."
That outburst would never happen again. She was still thinking this when his lips lowered to hers. His lips brushed hers in the gentlest of kiss, she slipped her hand behind his neck before he could change his mind and deepened the kiss.
Leila pushed her tongue into his mouth, her tongue teased his and he returned the favour by sucking hard on her lip. Her head fell back into the pillow. A shudder rippled through her and she whimpered. Leila needed her husband badly.
Mouth hovering above hers, he whispered, "I forgive you, Leila." The sincerity in his eyes backed up his words. He licked her lips and she giggled. Starting from her forehead, he peppered kisses all over her face and stopped at her lips. "Are you convinced now?"
"Very." She coughed to clear the jitters in her voice. Her index finger trailed a line on his chest, she unknotted his tie and tossed it somewhere across the room. Kelvin removed his shirt before she could ask, leaving him in only his singlet and work pants. He drew her closer to him. She rolled on her side and pressed a firm kiss to his lips. "I'm sorry I shouted at you."
His thumb traced the under of her eyebrow. He smiled but said nothing. "I was... I was insecure. I was jealous. I was scared."
Tears clouded her eyes, Kelvin caught some of them before they fell to her cheeks.
"Kev, I didn't mean any of the things I said. You're allowed to touch me." He arched a smooth brow and she nodded. She was not ready but at no point did he touch her out of turn. "That was a stupid thing for me to say. I don't want a divorce. I don't want you to sleep in the guest room anymore. I don't even want you to sleep outside." She kissed him again. "Please."
"I won't."
Setting the heat pad aside so there was no space between them, she slid her arms around his waist and hid her face in his chest. The words she should say weighed heavy on her. She had more to say to Kelvin but she wasn't sure how to say it, if he would receive it well.
"The last guy I dated used to cheat on me," Leila said into his chest. Remembering it made the corners of her eyes water. "When he was really drunk, he would brag about it. He would hit me too. He hit me twice."
On those two occasions, he was drunk. It might have been why she excused his behaviour since he never hit her when sober. Kelvin sucked in a sharp breath, he pried her hands off him to get a look at her face but she continued talking.
"I guess it was my fault. He-"
"Hey." Her eyes lowered to Kelvin's chest. She didn't want him to pity her. She was dumb then, but not anymore. That part of her life was in the past and would stay that way. "It was not your fault, okay?" Kelvin whispered against her lips. "He was a goddamn asshole for hitting you."
Maybe. But most of their fights revolved around sex. She knew the kind of man he was before she decided to date him. Hell, she had met him at a party with a lady hanging from his arm. But she had thought love would change him. They would be married soon and she would be his to make love to as much as he pleased.
"He wanted us to have sex but I was not ready, told him to wait a bit." Kelvin shook his head. She didn't know why she felt the need to defend the bastard. "He was a real sweetheart when he wasn't drunk, it's partly why I held on to the hope that he didn't mean any of the things he said."
Leila's eyes closed and tears ran down her cheeks. Kelvin sat up and lifted her to his lap. "I thought he would change, you know? When I saw the pictures, it just felt like I was reliving those moments," she said. She sniffed to calm herself. "I was mad at you for being unfaithful and I was madder at myself because I thought I pushed you into the arms of another woman."
Kelvin laughed and she pouted. "You didn't push me into any woman's arms." And Leila was glad to hear that. She was also loyal to Kelvin and she wanted that loyalty reciprocated. "Mia is no one." Leila scoffed. "No one for you to bother about. She's a pest." His choice of words made her happy. Her husband didn't like Mia. "We were all friends growing up. Our family has been as close as I remember. Everyone thought we would get married. It almost felt like the right thing to do."
"Then why didn't you marry her?" Leila asked.
In truth, picture wise, Kelvin and Mia looked perfect for each other. Mia was a drop dead gorgeous socialite. The type of person who knew she was pretty and basked in that knowledge. It might have been another reason Leila was triggered. She couldn't match up to Mia's beauty and she didn't want to try. She liked being Leila.
Kelvin hugged her to his chest. "She's not my type."
"Your type? You have a type?" He nodded against her. She poked his chest. "Don't tell lies. Am I your type?"
"Yep," he replied without hesitation. Leila's cheeks were redder than ever. She cupped her husband's cheek, her forehead touched his for a second. "Am I your type? No lies."
"I would never expect someone like you to look at me twice," she confessed. Kelvin laughed. "You're too hot to be real."
"I am real, Leila and I belong to you."
"You belong to me," she repeated with a smile.
Kelvin buried his face in the curve of her shoulder. "You hurt my feelings, Leila. You really did, wife." She swallowed, his arms tightened around her to prevent her from stealing a glance at his face. "I'm not mad at you, okay? But I never want to feel that way again."
In a solemn voice, she replied, "You won't. I'll never make you feel that way again."