She jumped, if I am to believe what I have been told.
I stand motionless outside the infirmary, listening to Priestess recall what lead to her jumping off the railing for what seems like the umpteenth time.
"For the past few days, I noticed the dark aura about her. Her sadness and growing anger. I tried to help her. I tried to make her comfortable enough to confide in me. She finally opened up today. Shue told me she hated being here. She hated him and couldn't stand being married to a monster and sharing his bed." The Priestess' voice breaks and sadness overwhelms her features. "She said she couldn't take anymore of it. I tried to stop her, but she was too fast for me."
It doesn't sound like Astrid. I know that all of it has been weighing down on her. I could see the depression and helplessness, and often times than not, I had made sure to convince her otherwise.
None of what the woman speaks sounds like my mate.
But it was she who had spoken to her last and called for help when she had fallen. She has no reason to lie.
Her words send swords digging into my heart and if the ache of finding Astrid in a pool of blood wasn't already enough, it worsened it.
The Alpha King's fingers grasp my collar, and he bares his teeth at me fiercely, yelling words I can barely hear as I focus on the sound of her heart beating through the oak door--because it is all that matters. That she lives.
The door to the infirmary creaks and we turn as one to the doctor stepping out of it.
"Is she...?" her mother asks, voice shaking.
"She had fractures, hemorrhaging, and head trauma, but fortunately, she healed remarkably fast. She's stable for now, but we'll need to monitor her closely. The healing process has been promising, but we can't rule out any long-term effects, especially regarding the head trauma until she wakes."
"And the child? Is it alright?" Father demands, earning a growl from Astrid's father.
"There may be potential complications during later stages of the pregnancy, but we can't say for sure until the time comes." He pauses and adds, "But for now, she is out of danger. She should be handled with care and..." I lean back against the wall for support, breaths hard. She is fine.
Relieved sighs fill the air and I vaguely register the priestess exiting the gathering. Pushing away from the wall, I start to head into the room, but the Alpha King seizes my arm, halting me. His eyes flares, much like Astrid's when she is mad, and he growls, "You don't see her. You don't touch her. You've done enough. I should have listened when she said she didn't want to return."
My chest tightens, and my vision turns hazy. I let out a breath, head cocking left as I feel the first signs of Hekate surging.
I groan, fleeing down the hallway, reaching my door in record time before Hekate decides to tear her father's head off for insinuating that he can keep us from seeing our mate.
"Rune," Gin calls out, trailing behind me.
"Stop following me," I grunt, feeling my chest constrict even harder as I enter my room.
"None of this is your fault. If she couldn't handle it, she never should have come back. She is a coward and you deserve better than a woman who would rather take her life than be with you--"
My fingers close around her throat, and her pale blue eyes widen as I hoist her up by her neck. She slaps my fingers desperately, attempting to pry them from her delicate neck, that I could snap in two if I so wished it, but I don't budge. "Another word against Astrid and I will forget who you are. Do not push me, Gin. For your safety, I beg you."
I let go and she drops to the ground, coughing. "You're threatening me? How could you even speak to me that way because of her? She is a stranger. She doesn't know you like I do. I have been with you and stuck with you through your hardest."
Tears line her eyes and she takes a step forward, clutching her bruised neck. "My entire life, I have lived for you. To be yours. I didn't care when you took others to your bed. I didn't care when you would come to me, drunk out of your mind and call me Astrid when you took my first kiss. Admittedly, I was scared out of my mind when you revealed yourself to me--and I ran because I couldn't handle it, but I got over it. No other woman would have stayed with you like I did. I waited for you. Even when--"
Her voice breaks, but she doesn't stop crying. "Even when you took my virginity and nearly killed me--"
"Stop it, Gin. We've been over this. I didn't know. I didn't take it. You came to me when I was at my lowest, took advantage of that, laid in my bed and replied every time I called you Astrid. I lost control, and though you orchestrated that, I never faulted you for it. I took it upon myself. I have tried every day to make it right, and it isn't fair that you take it out on the woman I choose to be with. The woman I fell in love with."
She reaches for me, gripping my shirt. Her eyes are glazed as she gazes up at me, tears stained with kohl streaming down her cheeks. "Love? You love her? What about me and my love for you? Should I discard it and move on as if I haven't loved you for the past twenty-four years of my life? Does it all mean nothing to you now that you have her? Will you cast me aside as if I mean nothing?"
My fingers enclose around hers, pulling her hand off my shirt. "I will always care for you, Gin. As a friend. Nothing more."
Her face scrunches up and she begins to sob, hiccuping between each word. "Because I'm not Astrid?"
"Yes."
Her features smoothen, and only bitterness remains in her gaze. "Well then, I hope she never wakes up."
I head to my room, fists clenched hard and tight as I repeat the word that manages to calm me down when I feel like I'm losing my shit.
Astrid.
The door slams shut behind me and I grip either sides of the makeup table, staring back at the pits of black that observe me keenly. "You let them walk over you, Prince. I have killed for less."
"I am not you," I seethe, fist lashing out to smash the mirror. Shards dig deeply into my fingers and I turn sharply at the sound of his laughter behind me.
Hekate sits by my bed, flipping through the pages of my sketch book, caressing the drawings of Astrid. I cross the room in a second, attempting to snatch the book from him, but my fingers meet...space. I never quite get used to it—his ability to appear as illusions or mirages. "Things would be much easier if you'd rid yourself of such delusions, boy."
I straighten. "This is your fault. She tried to kill herself because she can't stand you. What you are."
He tosses the mirage of the book away, standing with hands folded behind his back. "Surely, you are not that stupid. Our mate is anything but a coward." A soft smile tugs on his lips. "Seeking to end it all, jumping from a balcony, that is not how she thinks."
"You think she was pushed?" I ask, anger dissipating.
Astrid has had a hard time adjusting here, and I know the only reason why she even tried to interact was for me. I am well aware of how difficult my people can be when it comes to the other races, but trying to kill her is out of question.
He shrugs. "Assuming she did try jumping, the railing would be intact."
I frown, recounting the Priestess' words. She had claimed to have lunged forward to grab Astrid and the rail had snapped in the process. Why lie?
Sighing, I run my fingers through my hair. "The Priestess lied. That is what you are insinuating."
He blinks and I remember that we aren't particularly in synch. He picks it up from my thoughts and a frown etches on his face. My face. "The Priestess from the mating ceremony? I always did wonder what became of Attie."
"Attie?" I pause. Of course, he would know her. He murdered her sisters and burned down her home.
"A cunning woman, that one. I wouldn't believe a word she speaks if I were you," Hekate says, even as his frown deepens and his eyes become distant in a different time.
His gaze suddenly snaps to mine. "I will...walk tonight. There is something I must...handle."
It's the first time he's ever asked. "Walking" entails giving him control of my body. I could refuse, but I know he'll do it regardless of my consent, and I don't bother asking because he will not tell me. I let out a breath. "Don't kill anyone."
He grins faintly. "I'll try."
The mirage disappears, and as I feel the last of him settle deep within me, I ask, "Why did you leave that night?"
He remains silent, instead sending me an image through our bond. It's a haunting memory—a nightmare I often awaken from. Holding a lifeless boy in my arms, bellowing at the sky and the Goddess to do something. Pain washes over me, and I groan, clutching my chest.
His whispers reach me then. "I'm not ready to be a father again."