"Carriages make me sick," I lie, and even Boris isn't buying it.
Rune pulls off his stained jacket and hands it to the nearest guard, whose face is scrunched up in disgust as he grabs it. "You're lying, and I can't tell why."
He undoes the first few buttons of his shirt and my gaze is drawn to the bare skin peeking out from beneath. I take a step forward without thinking, and I don't even realize what I'm doing until Rune's fingers tighten on my upper arm.
"Astrid," he whispers, voice strained, and I find that my hands are on his shoulders, and I'm standing on my toes, lips a few inches away from his neck.
"Oh, shit! Sorry!" I exclaim, stumbling backward and nearly losing my balance. Rune's arms instinctively wrap around my waist, steadying me.
I push back, weirded out, and my gaze goes everywhere. Everyone seems to have more interest in the forest and plains around us, and I have a faint sense that they just want to avoid watching us.
"Sorry--about your shirt... jacket," I stammer, my words a jumbled mess. "It was a nice jacket, and it...it suited you. And carriages do not work for me. Perhaps, when you're king, you could try the human transportation instead. That would be preferable for me, if...if I were to become your queen. Which is never going to happen, and I should probably stop talking now," I blurt and cuss underneath my breath.
Could this get any worse?
Rune stares at me, his expression a mix of disbelief and bewilderment, before he abruptly turns and walks away. Tension radiates through his body as he tosses over his shoulder, "You ride with me."
"No, I won't."
Seconds later, Rune lifts me onto his horse's back and settles in behind me, securing his hold on the reins with one hand while wrapping the other tightly around me to prevent me from falling off.
"I don't like you," I tell him, and he says nothing, urging the horse forward with a kick, and my heart lurches as we gallop at full speed.
"Why not bring Gin along instead? I'm sure she would totally love this!" I yell over the rushing wind.
"Gin isn't my mate! Or my wife!" He shouts back, his grip on my waist tightening. The warmth seeps through my skin, offering a stark contrast to the cool breeze, and strangely, it eases my discomfort.
"Oh yeah? Could've fooled me with your kissing and bullshit!"
"Would you just let it go?!" Rune's voice resonates with exasperation.
"No!" I cry out, my trembling voice mingling with the wind, and I have never been more grateful for the fact that he can't see me, because I am so mad, I have begun to cry. "I can't let it go. You broke my heart, and you think dinner and horse riding is going to fix it!"
"It's not that simple, Astrid!"
"I tried! I fucking tried. You kissed me and called her name. You said we could never be together. You said it meant nothing. You called what we had a fluke. You called me desperate, insinuated I was a whore when I came to you, let me assume the worst and watched me shatter. And then you shipped me off to Darian without seeking my consent, and still! I sought after you, I looked for you. You rejected me at every turn, hurt me, and broke me--and this isn't even half of it. Simple? Oh, I think it is. You're a piece of shit, and I hate that I let myself fall in love with you!"
Rune yanks on the reins abruptly, bringing the horse to an abrupt halt. We lurch forward, and the horse neighs and whines beneath us. "You love me?"
Shit. I shouldn't have said that. I hadn't even realized it until the words escaped my lips. The truth of my feelings hits me like a tidal wave. Perhaps I've loved him all along, for Goddess knows how long. Maybe that's why the pain never truly faded.
Thorne was right. I would go to any lengths to avoid acknowledging my feelings because the truth hurt too much. Darian was right. Maya was right. And I'm the fool.
And it sucks. It fucking sucks that I can use the word 'love' on someone like Rune, while there are others who could reciprocate even a fraction of what I feel for him. Like Darian. Or Thorne.
It just had to be Rune.
I raise my trembling hands to my cheeks, wiping my tears, and I take a deep breath, attempting to compose myself. "Not anymore."
Rune's breath is warm against my neck and I get the inkling that he is about to speak when the temperature drops so suddenly.
I had been too deep in my feelings that I had barely noticed where we were. We stand at a high cliff that overlooks a village, and I glance below, gasping at the expanse of darkness that spreads over what seems to be the ruins of a a village.
Devastation, decay, and the overwhelming stench of decay assail my senses. I instinctively hold my breath to avoid retching. We have arrived at the Void, and the scene before me is grim. Homes lay in ruins, and there isn't a single soul in sight on this side of Lycanthia.
"Stay back!" Rune's voice echoes in my ears as I watch the ominous wall of darkness loom before us. It engulfs trees and houses, a relentless force that seems to consume everything in its path.
Rune dismounts from his horse and extends a hand to help me down. I hesitate, assessing the distance between the saddle and the ground. Finally, I decide to dismount myself, wincing as my feet make contact with the ground, suddenly sensitive to the impact. Rune's hand drops awkwardly, and I step around him.
"It gets this way everyday," Rune says as we walk towards the cliff's edge, peering closely at the moving wall of black. "There are days when an entire village is covered. Overnight. I had to withdraw my men from monitoring it after losing three troops."
I shiver at the cool, stale wind blowing in our direction. "And you think I can stop that? How? That day, it was different. It was beyond the door, and you were headed for it...I couldn't let it take you."
Silence hangs between us, and I squint my eyes, rubbing my temples in frustration. "This is...huge. I had no idea it was this bad."
"The Priestess proposed that getting you close enough could help--"
"No way in hell am I going near that thing," I interrupt, turning away. Selfish, one might say, but I have never been the 'hero'. I'm not about to start now, especially not when I do not just live for myself anymore.
He grabs my arm, forcing me to look at him, and I find rage in those eyes. A rage that matches the storm behind us. "I cannot explain enough how important this is, Astrid! I never would have brought you here if I could handle it myself. Everyday, I have tried, and this was my last resort. The last thing I want is you in harm's way--"
"Fine! I'll do what I can, but I don't buy your lies for a minute. Sure, you don't want me in harm's way because there's literally no one else who would take as much shit from you as I have. Now, get your hands off me! You're hurting me!"
He releases his grip, muttering an apology that I have no interest in, and I begin descending the cliff with Rune following behind.
************
We got close enough to see if my presence would affect the Void, but it seemed rather stagnant with inactivity. Just that gentle hum and cold emanating from it.
After a few hours of toeing around it and trying to feel the connection that I did the last time I had spoken to it, to no avail, I decided that it'd be better to examine the problem from the root.
From Hekate. Find out why everything happened the way it did. If the permanent solution to all of this is getting him to forgive them, then we might as well give it a try, rather than prolong the inevitable. I mean, how hard could it be?
The ride back home is a silent one, tension hanging thick in the air between us. After an entire afternoon of animosity and pent-up anger, not a single word is exchanged. It's as if the weight of our unspoken emotions engulfs us, suffocating any attempt at conversation.
As we rode, occasionally, my body falls back into his, and his hold on me tightens. The contact ignites fire within me, despite my best efforts to resist. His fingers dare a step further, rising to my midriff and raising my shirt slightly.
I want him to stop. I tell him so, but my words come out differently than I intend them to, and even I don't make sense to me. I find myself leaning back involuntarily as his fingers find my bare skin and begin to stroke softly on my belly.
He pulls me closer and my back slams into his chest, my rump melds with the v of his thighs perfectly. I feel him through his pants, hard and pressing against my ass, and my breath catches.
I know this shouldn't be happening, but his touch is tender, almost apologetic, as if he too is aware of the complex web of emotions weaving between us.
So I take my eyes off the road and let my head drop back on his shoulder...only for a moment. I close them and my heart pounds harder and faster as his fingers rise higher in tantalising circles that leave heat in their wake.
The wind tousles my hair and the rhythmic beat of the horse's hooves merges with the thunderous thumping of my heart. Eventually, it fades, and it is just the two of us. The guards, the sun, the sky, the wind, the birds chirping, the smell of grass and rot...it all fades.
It's some sort of temporary truce. Something Rune and I will always have in common. Now, forget later.
And when we are back in the walls of his castle and he offers to help me down, I don't refuse. His warm fingers grasp mine strongly, and he lifts me off the horse like I weigh nothing. Our eyes meet, and there is something raw and primal in his gaze, a mixture of longing and...if I dare hope...regret.
"I will wait for you tonight," he whispers, leaning down to press a kiss against my cheek, and I feel a jolt of electricity shoot through me at the touch of his lips. "Tell me you'll come."
I steal of whiff of his scent as I pull away, and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from giving away what I feel inside. "I'll think about it."
"You still smell like him," Rune adds quietly, expression unreadable. "I dislike it very much."
I don't smile, though I want to. The lie about Theron seems to have worked wonders on Rune. "And?"
"I would like to change that, if you'll let me." His voice is a low, seductive purr and it goes straight to my core, melting it, and the reaction is instant. My body tightens, and my nipples harden. Fucking hell, no man should sound like that.
"And what might that entail?" I ask, a bit out of breath.
His eyes drop from my face to my chest, like he knows how hard I'm aching in all the right places. "I'll tell you, if you come tonight."
My eyebrows rise, and I turn away quickly to hide my blush. Goddess save my perverted soul, how do I resist this temptation?
"I'll give it some thought," I reply, slipping my hands into my pockets as I walk away. Yet, his eyes follow me the entire way, devouring me like a feast.
I can't shake it from my mind—the longing in his eyes, the desire, the apology in his touch, the unspoken words, and the words he did say. It keeps me up all evening, indulging in comfort food, reading romance novels without comprehending a word, lingering in my bathtub longer than necessary, and meticulously caring for my skin for no apparent reason.
And it somehow has me wearing the midnight blue dress and heading to the garden for dinner, five minutes before midnight.