Rune loves me.
I spent the better part of my night pacing my room and scolding myself. I shouldn't have reacted that way.
But then...what was I supposed to do? Smile, tell him I love him too and move my things to his room?
Yes, Sloan chides. She's mad at me, has been since last night. I scowl as I take the staircases down to the dinning hall. After my epic flop last night, I thought I'd honour Rune's invitation for breakfast with his family.
I'm not ready to be all lovey dovey with them--though, I doubt they would be welcoming as well, but...this isn't for them.
I feel the tug on the bond as I draw closer to the hall, and my insides twist in complicated knots. I suck in my bottom lip, biting lightly on it nervously.
And when the guards let me through the door, heads turn in my direction. King Fenrir, Queen Zephyr, Rune, Gin...my heart slams into my chest when I see a familiar dark haired male, seated next to Gin. Darian's here.
Why is Darian here?
My steps falter and my palms go clammy. Those golden eyes pin me to the spot, taking me in from head to toe, and they darken with contempt. He looks away first, dismissing me, and it leaves me feeling like shit.
The letters left unattended, the unspoken words between us, the closure that we both need, it hangs over my head as I will myself to take another step toward the table.
I feel the tangible weight of Rune's gaze on me, and I shift my gaze to his. He watches me carefully, waiting. For me to decide if I want to face this now or run from it again. His eyes are soft and understanding, and I know that whichever option it is that I choose, he will not judge me for it.
"Come sit with us, child," a different voice says, and my gaze follows it to a silver haired woman I would recognize anywhere.
The 'lady-in-waiting' from my wedding day.
Why is she seated at the table with them? She is on Rune's left and...a frown etches on my forehead as I look between her and Rune. One would look at them and think she was his grandma.
She is my grandmother. Rune's voice drops into my head and my eyes widen with surprise.
The old woman chuckles, waving me over, and I walk forward, settling in the only other empty seat, beside Rune.
A plate of food is suddenly placed in front of me, but I find that I barely have the appetite to eat. Between Rune's thigh pressing against mine and Darian's cool stare, I am wound up extremely tight.
Gin, on the other hand seems to be enjoying the show. She has a smile on her face as she watches the three of us, amusement lighting up her eyes.
"Astrid, my dear," Queen Zephyr says, breaking the awkward silence at the table and I look up from my plate to meet her gaze. "Have you had your first shift yet?"
My brows furrow. "Yes. When I was eighteen--"
She shakes her head, setting down her cup rather gracefully. "As a lycan. The bond has been consummated. A month is more than enough time for your body to fully adjust, as well as your wolf. Have you not shifted yet?"
I blink. "No."
King Fenrir snorts. "Perhaps, she does not have what it takes to handle the shift. Too slow, I must say. Becoming one of us goes beyond...consummations and mate bonds. Her wolf must be strong enough to initiate the shift and survive it." His cool gaze shifts to me. "It is not for the weak-willed."
My fingers curl in my lap. I should've just stayed in my room. I want to retort, but I do not have the words to say to him.
"You are too harsh, Fenrir," Rune's Grandmother says, passing a plate of vegetables to Rune. "She is family. She should be treated as such."
The King's displeasure is unhidden, and his voice is filled with disdain as he counters his mother, "If she wishes to be treated like family, she should not flee from her responsibilities. Ginevra would do a better job--"
"Father," Rune interrupts, and even I hear the warning in his voice. "That is enough."
"What responsibilities?" I ask quietly, interrupting the face off between Rune and his father, and I resist the urge to sit back in my chair when they turn to me.
Queen Zephyr answers kindly. "It is all in your daily schedule. The maids tell me you turn them away every morning."
My lips for an 'o' as I recall every morning since I returned. I had assumed they were trying to bathe me again, so I had turned them away. Or not opened the door at all. "I will take a look," I tell her and she smiles genuinely.
I don't return the smile though. I don't think our relationship can ever go back to being what it used to be. I had thought she cared for me. Maybe she really did, but she treated me like everyone else did. Like trash.
As I reach for the salt, my hand brushes against Darian's, but he jerks away as if my touch burns him, and I abandon the salt altogether.
"It must be hard for you two," Gin starts, and a feeling of dread curls in my stomach. She gives me an adder's smile as she adds smoothly, "I hear you were going to make Astrid your Erasthai, Darian."
I feel Rune stiffen beside me. Darian's mouth tightens, and a muscle works in his jaw. His lips part, no doubt to say something hurtful and I flatten my palms on the table, straightening. "Excuse me. I'm afraid, I have lost my appetite."
I start to leave, but Rune catches my wrist, stopping me. "Astrid, wait."
But I don't think I can stomach sitting down at a table where no one wants me, directly opposite a man who I have hurt, just as much as Rune hurt me. Guilt gnaws at me, and I don't need Ginevra stating the obvious. It wouldn't hurt so much if I wasn't even here.
I dislodge my fist from his loose grip, and start to walk toward the exit. The guards open the doors, upon seeing me, and what ensues after has to be Goddess ordained.
A gentle wind blows in from outside, carrying my scent through the room, and someone sniffs in audibly. Then another. Then another. "That smell..." Rune's mother whispers, catching my attention.
I turn around, and they're all staring at me, wide-eyed. Time seems to pause as I see the shock on each face as they come to a conclusion that still seems to elude Rune.
I retreat a step back, and my stomach hollows out. No. Not like this. No.
But it is his Grandmother that breaks the spell, uttering those words with green eyes filled with awe...and maybe joy. I don't know. "You're with child!"
I try to get my lungs to draw air, so I can deny it, but I can't breathe. Their faces blur altogether, and my focus is on Rune.
Rune is staring at his plate. Unmoving. Unblinking. The calm before the storm. Slowly, his gaze rises to mine, and in a blink of an eye, he is out of his chair, in front of me. His fingers are around my neck, pushing my hair aside and his nose is on my neck, sniffing.
Panicked, I push him off, slapping my hand on my neck to hide it from him. "Get off me!"
His face turns feral. "You are...with child?"
"No," I lie without batting an eyelash.
He gives no warning, as he yanks my hand back from my neck, snarling softly, and buries his teeth in my neck.
Before I can scream, he pushes back from me, full lips stained with my blood, and that seems to have given him the answer he seeks because his answering snarl sends shivers all the way to my bones. The guards behind me flee, the smell of their fear trailing behind them.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He explodes, face white with fury.
"I didn't think you wanted it!" I yell, voice trembling with both fear and anger.
Hurt flashes in his eyes. "How could you think that?"
"You told me you would annul the marriage, break the bond! What was I supposed to do? Tell you and have you bring me back here out of pity? Or have you pretend to care, pretend to love me until I give birth to this child, only for you to return to your old ways, sleeping with whomever you please and being a monster again?"
He recoils from me, devastation flickering over his features, and my lips part upon realization of what I'd blurted out. He'd said he loved me. He'd explained and told me everything. The secrets that plagued him. His truth. He had apologized.
And I just slapped him in the face with it. "Rune, I didn't mean--"
He is out the door before I can reach for him.
Gin rushes after him, casting me a scathing look filled with anger. "I told you that you didn't deserve him."