I have been thinking. A lot.
I had thought that the ache in my chest was as a result of Rune's...escapades.
But last night has brought in a new narrative, and I don't know what to think anymore. He's never cleared the air every time I accused him, so I had always assumed the worst.
What if I had been wrong all along? His room didn't even have a whiff of Ginevra's strawberry scent in it. It doesn't make sense. I should have been able to pick up a scent, even if it's a month old.
But there was nothing. Unless he went to her at night.
I I groan, burying myself under the duvet. Nothing adds up. Why won't he just tell me the truth? Trying to understand him gives me a headache.
I've been trying to ignore the fact that my name had been what brought him back to his senses. My name. Not Gin's. Not Lorna's. Mine.
He had asked me to stay. Fucking hell. What do I do with myself?!
I slam my fists into the mattress, frustration getting the better of me, and Boris knocks, asking if I'm alright.
I'm not, but I tell him otherwise.
He knocks again, and irritation fills me as I sit up. "What is it--oh!"
Rune is by my door. Clad in his formal regal wear of blue so dark, it might have as well been black. It fits his frame snuggly, and I can make out the bunching muscles of his arms. His tresses of moonlight are pulled back into a bun with a few strands framing his face. "Can I come in?"
I glare at him. "No."
He nods, and walks in anyway, headed straight for my couch. He plops down on it and crosses his ankle over his knee. "We're leaving in an hour. That should be enough time for you to get dressed."
"No. It's not, and I need you to leave. I'm not getting dressed with you here," I mutter, getting out of bed.
His gaze sweeps over my figure, clad in a pink lacy chemise that leaves little to the imagination, and a faint heat flickers in his eyes. "I am your husband. There's little I haven't seen."
"Oh, I assure you, there is plenty you haven't seen," I growl, and he shrugs, head titling slightly to the pile of books by the table.
"I didn't peg you to be a reader," he says, amusement creeping into his green depths as he reaches for one of the books and chuckles. "Romance? The Herald's Slut? Even I couldn't get past the third page."
My cheeks redden and I throw the closet open to hide it. I've been stuck in my room for days now and reading has been the only thing that has kept me from losing my mind so far. I have the urge to share this with Rune, but it would be foolish because... we are not friends. Or anything like that.
Jeez. Why do I suddenly feel like a child?
"You could've sent the message through Boris. You didn't have to come here," I tell him, rummaging through my dresser for suitable clothes for the outing.
"I assumed you would have questions," he says softly, and I might not have heard it if I wasn't hanging on every word that left his lips. "After last night."
I start, pushing the closet door slightly. Is he really...Will he...
"As a matter of fact, I do," I chirp.
He groans. "Make this weird and I'll leave. Right now."
A smile teases my lips, but I keep a straight face. Why does my mood keep shifting? Yesterday, I despised him. Last night, I was torn between hatred and worry. This morning, curiosity took over, and now I feel like laughing and talking to him as if we were old friends.
"So...Gin wasn't in your room last night," I begin, sorting through my clothes, even if my mind's anywhere but in my wardrobe.
"No, she wasn't."
"Why?"
"Why would she be in my room?"
I slam the door shut, eyes narrowed. I see what he's doing, and I'm not in the mood to play these games with him. "You either give me answers or you get the hell out of my room."
Rune furrows his brows and shoots me a perplexed glance.
Unsure of the meaning behind his expression, I mutter under my breath, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
He tilts his head, studying me intently. "Is it that time of the month?"
I blink. "What do you mean?"
"You seem grumpier than usual, and I can't keep up with your mood swings," he tells me, and his gaze lowers to my lower half, as if he is trying to detect if it actually is the time of the month.
I bare my teeth at him in response, and he bursts out laughing. "Gin and I do not share a bed, Astrid. You would know that if you asked the right questions."
I take out a midnight blue silky dress, holding it out in front of Rune, and he nods in agreement. I dump it back in my dresser and begin the search for another. He likes it, I'm not wearing it. "Why not? You love her. You were going to mate with her and mark her."
"I care for Gin," is all he says to that, and a light bulb goes off in my head. Asking the right questions...
I turn to him, and his gaze is lowered as he flips through the pages of my book, cringing at the explicit content. "Do you care for her the same way you care for me?"
He looks up, eyes gleaming. "No."
An awkward silence passes between us then, and I swallow, trying to understand what that means. I can't, so I ask another question instead. "You have never shared a bed with her before?"
He holds my stare. "I have. Years ago, and she almost died. It was the first and last time."
My breathing slows a little, and I lean against my dresser. "Why did you make me think otherwise?"
He shrugs. "I didn't. You assumed. I let you. It worked for me."
"And now? Why are you explaining now?"
"I figured out first outing as a couple could be a little less...chaotic, considering you've been quite a handful recently."
"Fuck you," I say, but I'm smiling like a fucking idiot. My expression turns solemn when something else nags at my subconscious. "What did you mean when you said 'it worked for you'?"
Rune closes the book and places it back on top of the pile. He then straightens himself gracefully, brushing off imaginary dirt from his shirt. "A boon for a boon. Have dinner with me tonight and I will answer...two more questions."
I struggle to keep my jaw from dropping. "I'm sorry, are you asking me--"
"Yes, I am."
"No. I'm not having dinner with you."
He shrugs, heading towards the door. "My offer stands till midnight. I will wait for you by the garden tonight. I do hope you change your mind. I've been told I make for an interesting companion."
I snort, but he continues. "Be down in a few, and the blue dress would look great on you."
*****
So, I didn't wear the blue dress, in case you were wondering. I didn't want to give Rune the wrong idea that his words hold value to me, even if they're all I have been thinking about since he spoke.
Admittedly, I was tempted. I did wear the dress, and it did look stunning, but I pulled it off last minute, opting for a pair of riding pants and shirt. I look absolutely ridiculous, but I'd pick comfort any day.
I peek out the window of the carriage, looking to see if we've come close enough. I feel sick, and my face is covered in sweat. I've never had a problem with carriages before, but this child seems to dislike a lot of things.
I let out a sharp breath as bile rises to my throat, and I knock sharply on the side. They stop moving and Boris appears by my window, peeking inside and asking the regular question, "Are you alright, Prin--"
"Lift it. I can't stay in here."
He frowns, lifting the door. "The prince said--"
"Where is he?" I say breathless, fanning myself, desperately trying to supress the urge to vomit.
Rune's scent of spice teases my nostrils and I see him appear by the door in my peripheral vision, but before I can react, my body lurches in his direction uncontrollably and then it happens.
My breakfast is suddenly in my mouth, and then on Rune's shirt as I puke. It splatters everywhere and tears sting my eyes as I heave yet again, and I don't stop puking until my stomach has emptied out.
And then, I dare to open my eyes. Boris is several steps away from me and Rune. Everyone is watching us, horrified.
My gaze lifts to meet Rune's, and my face flushes with mortification as he peers down at me, momentarily speechless.
I wipe the corner of my lips and let out a small, nervous laugh. "Does this mean we head back to the Castle?"
He takes out a handkerchief from his front pocket and wipes his chin. "No, it means you have a lot of explaining to do."