I am far from thrilled to be here.
As Rune hands my luggage to the guards, their lowered heads betray the pretence. Why bother?
They address me with titles like 'Your Highness' or 'Your Grace,' going out of their way to make me feel uneasy. The discomfort only intensifies as we enter the King's Hall, and the guards open the doors for us.
My eyes immediately land on the dais, where the King and Queen are seated, their attention fixed on a woman venting her grievances.
As we step inside, the entire hall turns towards us, their gazes piercing and judgmental. They greet us with bows, their heads bowed low as we pass by.
My feet stumbles, so does my heart, and I resist the urge to grasp Rune's fingers to steady myself.
The King's gaze is fixed on me—I can feel it—just as I keep my eyes on him, peering through lowered eyelashes. His icy green eyes track every step I take towards him. When we reach the foot of the dais, Rune inclines his head, and the grieving woman steps away, giving us a wide berth. "Father."
King Fenrir's adorned fingers drum against the armrest of his throne and he peers down at us with eyes that make me feel insignificant before him.
I avert my gaze first, unable to maintain the stare. Discomfort floods over me, and I shift uneasily on my feet, wanting to leave.
"You have returned. With your bride."
Rune says nothing, keeping his gaze fixed on the ground, and I feel King Fenrir's gaze shift to me. "Come."
I know he is speaking to me, but my feet remain rooted in place. He doesn't like me. Why is he acting this way? What is the end point to this? Am I in danger?
I suddenly wish I hadn't ordered Boris to remain outside with the rest of the guards. I feel awfully alone in this place filled with people who could kill me if they wanted. People who aren't my kind.
"Come closer, dear," Queen Zephyr says, her voice flowing like honey. Deceptive much.
I take the first steps up the dais, slowly counting each one.
Ten steps in total, and I stand before Rune's father, bearing the weight of his gaze. "I understand that we got off the wrong foot," he begins, and I nervously bite the inside of my cheek, aware that everyone is watching us. "I hope we can mend our relationship and start anew. After all, we are now family."
Suppressing the urge to make a snide remark, I lie through my teeth. "That is my wish as well, Your Majesty."
He lips twitch in amusement as he senses the obvious lie. He extends a hand towards me, and only then do I notice the small box he holds. "I believe this is yours."
I stare at the box and then back at him, pausing for a moment before accepting it. With trembling fingers, I flip the lid open.
An amethyst ring.
"A family heirloom, symbolizing the unity and strength of our bloodline, passed down from queen to princesses. It should have been yours from the moment the bonding ritual was concluded, but... circumstances intervened."
Right. I passed out like some fairytale princess.
Laughter ripples through the crowd, and my face reddens. I can't tell if he's trying to embarrass me or genuinely offer this heirloom. Why though? Everyone knows I will be gone the moment the Void is.
I close the box, holding it tightly in my hand. "I appreciate your...kindness, but I cannot accept this."
"You may hold on to it. Until--"
"Rune!" A familiar squeal cuts through the air, and I turn slightly, my suspicions confirmed by the twitch in King Fenrir's lips.
I know I shouldn't care, but I can't help myself. I watch as Ginevra runs into the Hall, throwing her arms around Rune's neck, and a pang of pain shoots through my chest.
I quickly avert my gaze and face his father, forcing a smile. "Thank you," I say, closing my fingers tightly around the box, the edges digging into my palm as I descend from the dais.
I try to keep my expression composed, unaffected, but I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, betraying my true emotions. So much for respect. I've become a laughingstock, humiliated in public. And there he stands, holding her and running his hand through her hair. I shouldn't be surprised. She is after all, his choice, and I am the fluke.
He is whispering something soothing in her ears when I stop beside them. "I would like to retire to my room. I'm exhausted. Where is it?" I ask Rune, my voice steady.
Ginevra pulls back and beams at me. She sketches a mock bow and chirps excitedly, "Your Highness."
My expression remains cold and stony. "Hello, Gin," I reply before turning my gaze back to Rune, my face questioning.
But Ginevra doesn't get the message that I do not wish to speak to her. Or maybe she does and just wishes to get under my skin. "While we work together to get rid of the Void, I would like to be friends. It's the least I can do with all you are sacrificing to be here."
Fucking bitch.
Her wide eyes and pleading expression fool no one. I recognize that smile, the coy tilt of her lips. All of this is just a game to her, and...
Her words finally sink in, and I pause. "You live here?"
She nods. "Since I was a child. I hail from a bloodline of distant royals. As such, I am always welcome here."
Icy wrath creeps through me, but I supress it. I'd never stood a chance. Mate, I might be, but Ginevra's always been in his life.
But it serves to confuse me further. If Ginevra and Rune have been 'sweethearts' since childhood, why seek solace in the arms of others whenever he visited during Solstice? It didn't make sense, but then, none of Rune's actions have ever made sense to me, and it'd be easier to put a horse through a needle's eye than try to understand Rune.
"I will see you around then," I say. Goddess forbids that.
"You may choose any room on the first wing. It will be furnished according to your preferences," Rune replies softly, avoiding my gaze for some reason.
Not that I care.
I walk away, because what else am I going to do? Remain where there is obviously no place for me?
**********
I took the old room I had dresses in for...my wedding. It just appealed to me and felt a little more like home, and with Boris standing outside on guard, I feel a little...safe.
It's been four days since I saw Rune. Or anyone else actually.
I have declined every invitation down for breakfast, lunch and dinner, revelries and such. The less I interact, the lesser the chances that anyone sniffs me out and finds out the truth.
My meals are delivered to my room, as well as dresses and shoes and boots, befitting of my status. Not that I'm going anywhere with them. Rune hasn't come to me yet to make plans concerning the Void.
That's probably because he's busy with Gin.
Every night, I've been getting the usual aches in my chest. is no different. I wake up in agony, writhing, panting, and drenched in sweat. It has been happening for three consecutive nights, and I've tried to ignore it, attempting to sleep through the pain, but it persists, unrelenting.
Tonight, the pain feels more intense, like knives repeatedly piercing and tearing at my chest from within. Groaning, I throw off the sheets and Boris knocks softly on the door. "Princess, are you alright?"
Taking a deep breath, I slip on my flip flops and shuffle to the door, clutching my chest. I force air into my lungs as I open the door, causing Boris to stumble forward. "I'm going for a walk. Don't follow me."
I pass by him, hearing his soft footsteps trailing behind me. Groaning, I turn slightly, and he hesitates, torn between obeying my order and fulfilling his duty. "Alright, you can follow, but keep your distance. I need to be alone."
He nods, and I make my way down the empty hallway, hugging my sides with my hands.
A few minutes later, I find myself on the second wing, unsure how my feet led me here. It's dark and chilly, making me shiver and my teeth chatter. None of the lights are on, and as I turn to leave, something tugs at my chest.
What? I ask Sloan.
Rune, she says softly, for the first time in a while. Here.
I gaze down the hall, but it's too dark to discern anything, and the howling wind makes it difficult to hear. There's no one on this floor, Sloan.
Here! She howls and I lunge forward, unable to resist.
The wind whips at my face and...Wind? We are inside. Where is the wind coming from?
The further I race down the hallway, the excruciating pain in my chest increases. I don't want to see them together! I yell at Sloan.
Here! She yells back, urging me on. I come to a halt in front of a room, feeling Rune's presence, sensing that tug once more. My hand reaches for the doorknob.
I shouldn't be here. This is insane. Gin is probably in here, doing only Goddess knows what. I don't need to see this. I don't want to, but Sloan will not let me leave.
I twist the doorknob, and the door creaks open. A gust of darkness and cold air billows out, obscuring my vision. It's too dark, even for my sharpened sight.
Something's wrong. I can't place my finger on it, but I know it in my heart that something isn't right.
"Rune?" I call into the dark room.
No response. My heart slows.
"Rune?!" I yell, worry seeping into my voice. When he still doesn't respond, I bite the inside of my cheek and say, "I'm coming in."
I step over the threshold and suddenly find myself engulfed in a suffocating darkness that numbs my senses. It's like being trapped in a confined space, unable to move or see.
And it feels familiar.
Pushing through, I grope blindly, calling out his name repeatedly.
A small sound catches my attention and my head whips right. Another groan and I head in that direction. "Rune?"
A small sound follows, and a growl. "No!"
My body halts at the command that sounds so guttural and dangerous that it takes all of my will to not flee from him. My heart squeezes so hard, I momentarily lose my breath.
What is happening?
I follow the sound of his harsh breathing. He starts to whimper. Plead, and it dawns on me that he might be caught in a nightmare.
His pleas become more urgent, and I move faster. My calf hits something hard and I trip...on the bed.
For a heartbeat, I lose all sense of self and start feeling for the bed frantically, searching for him.
My fingers brush against cool, soft skin, and my heart stops when his cold fingers suddenly grasp mine, pinning me to the bed, his full weight pressing down on me.
My breath is knocked out of my lungs and it takes more than three tries to force myself to breath.
His fingers leave my wrist and I feel them around my neck a heartbeat later, squeezing. Tears spring to my eyes and I kick out from below him, unable to breathe or move. His instincts must have kicked in and flagged me as the danger here.
How do I tell him it is me when he is currently crushing my windpipe?
He snarls, pressing harder, and I feel my consciousness slip from me.
I gasp for air and rasp, "Ginevra." He loves her. It should get through to him.
No reaction.
I try again. "Lorna."
No response. No. His fingers tighten around my throat.
I pant, my fingers clawing at his hand. Tears stream down my face as I desperately yell, my voice raw and desperate. "Astrid!"
He jerks, his fingers freezing against my neck. "Astrid," he breathes, shuddering. The darkness recedes a little, and I can make out his silhouette.
"It's Astrid," I whisper again, wincing at the ache in my neck.
His fingers withdraw from my neck slowly, and it is replaced with his nose. "Astrid," he repeats, nuzzling my neck.
Slowly, the room becomes brighter and the light of the moon flits in, dispelling the darkness completely.
Slowly, the room brightens, and the moonlight filters in, dispelling the darkness entirely.
He wraps his arms around me, repositioning us so that I'm lying against his chest, held tightly in his embrace.
My face us buried in his chest, and I allow myself to take a deep breath. Not to inhale his scent, but because if I don't breathe now, I might faint. His heartbeat matches the rapid rhythm of mine, and his fingers delve into my hair, holding me even tighter.
He whispers my name over and over, until the tightness in him eases up. His hold around me loosens and I take that as my cue to leave, before he can decide he no longer wants me here and throws me out.
I start to slip away, but he holds me in place. "Stay."
My throat closes. My eyes sting. I can't do this.
I know what comes next. I'll wake up alone in the morning, and if we do meet, he'll be a cold bastard and shoving his tongue down Ginevra's throat again.
I can't let him do this to me again.
So, against my heart and Sloan's plea, I say, "I can't."
Rune's heartbeat slows. I can hear it. "Please."
That might have been enough before, to hear Rune beg me to stay. But now, it scarcely does anything to rid the ache in my heart.
I pull away and he lets me. "Astrid--"
But I'm already headed toward the door. "Goodnight, Rune."