I thought about the muss, the joint bank account, the bills, my student loans. “It’s not that easy, Courtney.”
“It’s not supposed to be easy. Jeez, Shanna! You’re young, smart, and beautiful. You can have anybody you want. You should be happy. And you should be having sex.” Courtney looked away only for a moment, but quickly turned back to meet my gaze. “With someone you care about, of course,” she added in a mock serious tone. “But at some point, you know…” She raised her eyebrows again and tilted her head slightly to one side in an obvious appeal for me to show some degree of haste when it came to choosing a sex partner. “How long did you say it’s been?”
Traffic was starting to move again and I didn’t want to talk anymore. I turned and stared out the passenger window instead.
“We’ll talk more about this later,” Courtney said to the back of my head before turning her attention on the road.
****
It wasn’t even noon yet but I was done. We sat at a back table in Applebee’s. My right thumb was in a glass of ice water and I was eating a bacon avocado burger with my other hand while Courtney was munching on a salad. I hadn’t spoken in a while, and the only thing Courtney said was a comment about how nice winter in Boston looked when it began to flurry. I didn’t respond when she asked me how I liked my burger. I could tell she wanted to say something else, but she was afraid I would jump down her throat as soon as she opened her mouth. She was right.
We had started out at the Wrentham Village outlets and spent a couple hours walking through the premium stores, mostly comparison shopping and not buying anything. Then Courtney dragged me to Copley Square Mall, where we eventually found ourselves in Bloomingdale’s.
We were both looking at shoes when a big woman next to me jumped up trying to reach the only pair of size twelve Steve Madden booties from the top shelf. She landed awkwardly and collided into me. The impact knocked me off balance and I fell to the floor, landing on my hands and knees.
Before I could pick myself up, my thumb was run over by the wheel of a shopping cart being pushed by a girl about my age with long, black hair and tats up both arms. She reminded me of Amy Winehouse. Neither of the women apologized. The one pushing the shopping cart kept right on going without even looking back, but when I got to my feet, holding my sore thumb, Big Foot was sizing me up.
“You’re tall,” Big Foot observed. “Can you reach up and get that shoe box on the top shelf for me?”
“What?” I felt my face flush and I saw red. I was about to tell her off, even though I didn’t know what I was going to say, but before I could open my mouth Courtney jumped in front of me and began ushering me away.
“Can you believe that?” I screamed. My temples were pounding in rhythm with my throbbing thumb. “The nerve of some people!”
“I know,” Courtney said, walking in front of me as I backpedaled. We were half way out of the store already. “Why don’t we get some lunch? There’s an Applebee’s in the food court. You like Applebee’s. It’s been a long morning. You’ll feel better after you’ve had something to eat.”
“I’d like to give her something to eat.” I leaned around my sister and yelled louder, “I’d like to cram those size twelves down her throat for lunch.”
The woman didn’t hear me. Her back was to us, and she was talking to another woman who made her husband reach up to take the shoe box down off the shelf.
Thinking about it now made me upset all over again. As soon as I took the last bite of my burger and wiped my mouth, the waitress came over and took my plate away as if she had been waiting for me to finish. Courtney was still eating so I sat there and waited in silence. When I’m mad, I always eat too fast.
Finally, my sister put her fork down. “So, how’s your water?” she asked, looking at the sweaty glass in which my right thumb was still submerged.
All of a sudden I burst out laughing. I didn’t know where it came from, but I couldn’t control it. Replaying in my mind how I injured my thumb, getting it run over by Amy Winehouse, after I was knocked to the floor by Sasquatch, the whole thing just struck me as funny. And once I lost it, Courtney followed. She had a high-pitched whiny laugh that sounded like a baby crying. People at surrounding tables looked over at us. We were both still giggling as we paid the bill and walked out in a hurry.
“Glad to see you laughing again, Shanna. I have to say, you have been kind of bitchy lately.”
“Thanks a lot,” I pouted, feigning outrage.
“If your sister can’t be honest with you, who can?” We exchanged a sisterly smile as we stepped onto the down escalator and descended to the bottom floor. “You had me worried. You really wanted to tear that woman’s head off in the shoe store. What’s gotten into you?”
“I wish I knew. I feel bad about the way I’ve been acting today. I don’t like being so ‘bitchy.’” It’s not in my nature. I’m all right now, though. That bacon avocado burger must have done the trick.”