Somehow he had gotten into the apartment, made love to me like no one ever had before, left the Kachina behind and then just disappeared. If Kenny was some kind of X-rated magician, he had just performed an illusion for the ages.
My attention was drawn back to the doll in my hand, its texture, its weight. It’s magic.
That was it. The doll had to be the source of what I had just experienced. The Kachina was enchanted somehow. By Kenny. What else could it be?
There are many types of Kachinas, and each holds different powers and influences, Kenny had said.
Then there were the Bill Clinton dolls, the ones playing the saxophone. What did Kenny call them? Kokopelli? Those were supposed to represent sexual desire and fertility.
This was all too much to comprehend. Sorcery and the occult; these were things I was never given to believe. I was more practical. Science and
medicine were the tent poles of reality that held up the world I lived in. I put all thoughts of wizardry and mystic realms out of my head.
Still, the mild pain and discomfort of intercourse was the only thing that prevented me from completely disbelieving what had just happened. I could not explain much, but my orgasms were undeniable, at least. I knew I could not have imagined that, even though Kenny was nowhere to be seen. If he was just a dream, he was a living dream.
The thought of him and the memory of the phantom encounter were so intense I was seriously turned on again, and I had to pleasure myself. I knew I could not resist, and as I dropped back down onto the bed I moved my left hand down slowly toward my tender folds. My body instantly reacted to my touch. I was still sensitive and very wet. With the mixture of our fluids dripping from me, I began to rub the hood of my clit in a gentle, rhythmic circle. I tried to hold back as long as I could, but the image I had of Kenny licking my neck and face before kissing me deeply brought me over the edge, and I came. Again.
Now, I felt light-headed, but I was not done yet. I closed my eyes tightly and continued to explore my body, one hand fondling my breasts, the other snaking down behind my back and under my ass. I made a circle around the rim of my anus and let one finger penetrate me, thinking about Kenny, imagining it was him touching me.
****
I woke up confused, but with a big smile on my face. In the light of a new day, having had some time to gain a new perspective, it was easy to believe that the lurid, highly-fulfilling sexual encounter was all in my mind, despite what certain parts of my body were telling me. An episode of vertigo, even a second one on the same day, could not explain the pleasant swelling between my legs. Still, how plausible was it that the romantic rendezvous had taken place? It was absurd, really. There was no way Kenny could have gotten into the apartment. He seemed to just materialize out of nowhere, and then just disappear without a trace.
It was just as possible that Kenny was a genuine psychopath who had followed me home, broke into the apartment, had sex with me and left without a word.
Whoever he really was, phantom lover or flesh and bone boy toy, it didn’t make a difference. I wanted him. What does that say about me? Maybe I was the psychopath. Whether I was receptive to Kenny’s sexual advances or not, I wondered if I was losing my mind.
My smile dissolved instantly when I noticed the time. It was almost eight o’clock and David would be home soon. I did not want to be here when he arrived. It was not because of guilt for what I had done, if I’d done anything at all, that I was unable to face David. It was more what I wanted to do with Kenny and with my life which made me uneasy. I was not ready to have that conversation with David yet. I had so much to figure out. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I knew I had to find out soon and do something about it before it was too late.
I jumped out of bed, getting myself dressed and ready as quickly as I could, praying that David would not walk through the door before I finished. Hopefully, he would be held up at work. As a state trooper, he often got called in on his days off, like he did last night. Particularly during the holidays and in the summer months, it was not unusual that they would keep him on for a double shift or another half shift. He would have left a message if he was staying later, but I checked my phone and there was no message. It was only a ten-minute commute for him from the barracks on most days and I was cutting it close. Luck was on my side, and I made it out of the apartment before he got home.
I didn’t know where I was going until after I got into my car and started driving. I found myself heading in the opposite direction of my father’s house in Waban, where my sister lived, and getting on I-95 south.
My phone rang, and when I saw that it was David I just let it ring. It was as if I was on auto- pilot. The exit sign for the Wrentham Outlet alerted me to my destination. The traffic into the mall was brutal. The place was just as busy today as it was the day before on Black Friday. It was not easy finding a place to park, and I had to walk from the back lot across the entire span of outlet buildings to reach the one where Kenny’s shop was located. It was bitterly cold, though that was not why I walked as briskly as I did through the throng of shoppers. I wasn’t worried so much that David would see me, but there were always cops around, local police and state troopers, and David knew them all. My phone rang in my purse but I ignored it again.
When I arrived at Kenny’s store, I saw a vacant retail store and I paused for a moment, wondering if I was in the right place. I didn’t even know the name of the shop, so I wouldn’t be able to find it on any directory. I looked around at The Body Shop on one side and Perry Ellis on the other. This was it all right, but when I tried the front door it was locked. Peering in through the glass door and then the front window, there was not much to see. Even without any interior lighting, it was clear that there was nothing inside, just bare shelves and empty cases.
I questioned how Kenny could have packed up everything overnight. And after fucking me.