“I don’t know what to say, Shanna. That’s really hard to…”
“Hard to believe?”
“I was going to say, ‘hard to swallow’ but that works, too.”
“I shouldn’t have told you.” “Did he drug you or something?”
“No,” I said. “You’re not listening. I know how crazy it sounds. It doesn’t make sense to me either. After driving by his shop in Wrentham this morning and finding it completely empty, I just wanted someone on my side who could tell me that I hadn’t gone completely off the deep end, creating a whole fantasy world for myself, inventing not only Kenny but the shop where we met him.”
“Wait,” Courtney began, “you mean that store with all those freaky dolls is not there anymore?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. The store is there, but the place is cleared out. No Kenny. No dolls. You’re the only other person I know who has seen Kenny and his shop, and who can confirm if they exist or not.”
“Well, Sis, in that case, you don’t have to worry. If you’ve gone bonkers, I’m right there with you. I’m just the one who didn’t get her brains fucked out.”
“You’re not helping me,” I told her. “I don’t know what to do.”
“I really don’t see your problem,” Courtney said. “You’ve got the best of both worlds. You have a good-looking boyfriend who has a great future in the Massachusetts State Police, and you have another boyfriend that no one else can see, a Native American stud who comes over to pleasure you and then just leaves afterward. You don’t even have to make him breakfast in the morning. Why would you want to change anything? Although, if you haven’t gotten me a Christmas present yet, you can have Kenny come by and visit me. That might be something to consider.”
“The thing is,” I began, hesitated a moment, then blurted out, “I’m falling for him.”
“Love?” Courtney scoffed. “You don’t know anything about him.”
“I know I want to find out everything.” “I know more about him than you do.”
I raised my eyebrows and looked at my sister sidelong, wondering what punch line she was setting up. “I don’t think so.”
“Oh, no? Well, tell me, do you know what his real name, Kwatoko, means in Hopi?” She didn’t wait for me to offer a response. “It means, ‘bird with big beak.’”
I shook my head. “Do you have to be so juvenile all the time, Courtney?” Even as I said this, all I could think about was the Kokopelli and the experience I had with Kenny the night before, whether it was real or imagined.
“I swear, it’s true,” she said. “I looked it up online.”
“You remembered his name?”
“I wasn’t sure, so I searched the BU website and found the faculty directory. It listed his nickname as ‘Kenny.’ Then I saw his picture and I knew.”
That was it. I could locate him on campus, either after one of his classes or during his office hours. “Can you pull up that information again on your computer for me?” I asked.
“Yeah, sure,” Courtney said, and she headed upstairs. “Make yourself a cup of coffee. I’ll be right back.”
****
I took the last Yuban Gold K-Cup and put it in the Keurig. The coffee was still brewing when Courtney came back down with her laptop. She set her computer on the kitchen table, and I joined her with a mug of dark roast as she was logging in. The smell alone of the Colombian coffee was intoxicating. I was taking a sip when my cell phone on the table in front of me began to vibrate, pulsating with a kind of life all of its own. A moment later, the ring tone, a snippet of the song “Super Trouper” by the Swedish pop group ABBA, identified the caller. Last year, Courtney and Charlie, my sister’s boyfriend at the time, invited David and me to see the musical Mamma Mia! with them, after which I adopted the melody as David’s personal ring tone. I let it play through without answering it.
“What are you going to do about David?” Courtney asked.
I considered my response longer than necessary, because I already knew what I was going to do. “No matter what happens,” I replied, “I think you’re right, I need to end it with him.”
“That’s proof positive that you’re not crazy,” Courtney said. “It’s the most coherent thing you’ve said since you came over.”
I just smiled as we began to surf through the Boston University faculty pages before coming across Kwatoko “Kenny” Honana, PhD, Department Head, Native American Studies.
“I’m not sure that’s a married name you want for yourself,” Courtney said. “Shanna Honana.” We both laughed. “According to his bio,” she continued, “he’s only twenty-nine. He got his undergraduate degree from Northern Arizona University and his PhD from Arizona State. He’s only been at BU for a year. He’s listed as six foot, eight inches tall, but it doesn’t mention his most impressive feature.” She looked at me and extended her arms out in front of her, holding her palms about a foot away from each other.
I reached over and adjusted her hands further apart. “That’s more like it,” I said, and we both laughed again.
Looking at all the different classes that Kenny taught, I was amazed. They had course names such as, Animal Totems and their Meanings, and Animism and Religious Beliefs. I found the course descriptions fascinating.
“Listen to this,” I said. “The term Animism is derived from the Latin word anima meaning breath or soul. It says, ‘Animism is a belief based on the spiritual idea that the universe, and all natural objects within the universe have souls or spirits. The idea and concept behind Animism, and the belief of Animists, is that people have a spiritual connection or kinship with creatures or objects in nature.’”
I observed Courtney to gauge her reaction. She seemed roundly unimpressed. She just sort of nodded, granting her casual consent. “Sounds kind of New Age,” she said. “You thinking about taking a class? Oh, I forgot, you’re already getting private lessons.”
The part about people having a spiritual connection to objects was what really struck me, although I wasn’t exactly sure why. I knew that the dolls, the Kachina and the Kokopelli, had more significance than I realized. Of course, I didn’t divulge any of this to my sister, who seemed to be having a difficult enough time digesting what I’d told her so far.
“What about this one, Fetishism,” Courtney said, grinning mischievously. “I like the sound of this class. I’ll take this one with you.” She raised her right arm and snapped her wrist, making the sound of a cracking whip.
“It’s not that kind of fetishism.”
Courtney pointed to the computer screen, fascinated. “He even teaches a class on Dreamwalking, which is, ‘the ability to leave the barriers of one’s own mind while asleep. It allows the dreamwalker to enter someone else’s dream, and observe or control them.’ Kinky.”
“You can make anything sound that way.”
“I bet he has a class with whipped cream and handcuffs somewhere in here.”
“Okay,” I said, leaning over and closing the window. “We get the idea.”
Courtney shut down her computer and looked over at me. “So, do you think this stuff has something to do with what went on with you and
Kenny?”
“No,” I lied. “I don’t think so, no. I just think it’s really interesting.” I was a little distracted, thinking about Kenny, and how I needed to see him right away. The shop was closed, but if I was lucky, I might catch him at his office at Boston University. Even though it was a Saturday during the Thanksgiving recess, maybe he was there preparing a lecture for his class on Monday. One thing was for certain, I couldn’t wait two more days.
“These classes will give the two of you something interesting to talk about, at least,” Courtney said. “Though the way it appears, Kenny’s not much for small talk. He lets his animal totem do his talking.”
“Do you ever have anything else on your mind? Guys are the ones who are supposed to have penis envy. And Kenny’s not just a guy with a big dick.” I pushed my chair back and stood up. “I’m going to get going.”
“You’re being way too sensitive, Sis. I’m just joking around.”
“I know. I’m going to find Kenny.” I didn’t know what I was going to say to him exactly, but I wouldn’t be able to speak with David and tell him what he needed to know until after I saw Kenny.
Courtney’s phone started to ring and she glanced at it before quickly looking back at me with concern. “It’s David!”